


Meant to be found

by grainipiot



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Blood, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Strangers to Lovers, blame rito instead, following canon as much as possible, sorry but it's no spoiler that yone dies at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-04-11 09:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 75,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21539461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grainipiot/pseuds/grainipiot
Summary: Two souls waiting to be reunited, with a mark as only clue to find each other. Not once it was said to be easy but one could still hope. Even when war raged, burning Ionia little by little.
Relationships: Yasuo/Master Yi (League of Legends)
Comments: 282
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
New AU, because I have no self-control!
> 
> Thanks for reading this, I hope to update it often!

Blessed be the marked ones, they have someone waiting for them.

A bit solemn and serious to say but it was true. Almost everyone received a mark at birth or later in life. The only clue to find their soulmate, as we said. There were tales about it, a soul broken in two pieces to never be alone again. One could live without the other but a certain emptiness remained for not having found them. So to say, it was better and extremely lucky to find one soulmate then enjoy life together.

The downside of such blessing was death. It happened someone’s mark disappeared if they couldn’t find their other half in time. Then there was no solution but carrying on, knowing they lost their special someone.

What about this mark ? The first words their soulmate would say to them. Beautiful, no ? Imagine, to hear a new person say these magic words, in that particular order then it was done. They had found each other.

~

Sadly, life wasn’t always as simple. Being born in a secluded village lost in the mountains, Yi had little chance to find his own soulmate. Indeed, quick to see that no one there was his predestined, in such small place.

Far from everything, from anyone.

Oh he cared about the topic, as much as the next person. Secretly, not to give this too much importance. Adults were so quick to calm children on this topic, saying they had to wait and wait, that maybe their soulmate would die soon. That the soulmate was an outsider.

Yi remembered part of that old conversation, when his mother explained he shouldn’t be so happy about it. Not everyone found their soulmates, not everyone could afford to go with them. But most of all, since no one in the Wuju village was his soulmate then it had to be someone from outside. No one went outside, too far from the village.

So a gentle yet sad smile, as she explained to a young Yi that it was better not to hope. Destiny had its ways, if he was to meet his soulmate then so be it. But it was to be difficult given the rules of the village.

It was unfair to say that to a child. For once there was something good to look forward to, it was smothered without mercy. Yes but it was for his own good. What about it ? It was cruel nonetheless.

Since that day he kept a small hope that it would still happen. Who knew ? Maybe someone would wander in the mountains and find the village by accident. Maybe a poor wounded soul would seek help.

More and more often he could be seen idling not far from the gates of the village, gaze lost in that wild unknown territory.

Climbing the pagoda’s roof became one of his habits, with a new reason to do so. Observe afar, see if there were people coming.

Completely useless. He knew it and adults told him too. This was why he didn’t mention his soulmate anymore.

Yi did as if he gave up on this and focused instead on what was expected from him. Training, keeping on the legacy. The perfect student, soon called the Young Master.

Great, his parents were happy and the elders were glad to see Wuju living through another student.

On his part, it was silent wondering at night. Who could they be ? A man or a woman ? From their island or beyond the sea ? He had only one clue, his mark. Words that only his family knew since it was supposed to be personal.

_« Holy shit, that was really smooth. »_

Difficult to seem unbothered when one had swear words engraved in skin as a soulmate mark. On this Yi was glad only him and his parents knew, it wasn’t the thing to be proud of. Also because from tender age he learned one disrespectful expression despite his good education. This may explain why his parents weren’t keen on letting him meet that kind of person.

At least he knew his soulmate had a foul langage. Yet it didn’t bother him much, as time passed. Silly indeed to have that as first words but he cherished it all the same. After all, it was difficult to have a beautiful sentence when one just met their soulmate. Only the first called could potentially think a little of a nice phrasing.

These quiet nights, Yi observed his mark as he could, imagining how it would happen later. Praying that it wouldn’t disappear overnight, like they mentionned before. This was the worst thing to expect. To lose someone not even met.

But if his words were already marked, why would they die ? They had to meet one day.

Years went by, nothing really changed. Yi waited, on the roof of the pagoda, for someone that took too long.

With these years also went more reason, understanding of several things. If he was to find his soulmate out there, it meant he had a reason to go. This was a bit scary, not to know himself enough for that. Would he dare to break the rule ? Why would he in the first place ? Yet he thought about it again and again. Unless he had a good reason he wouldn’t wander so far from the village. Would his soulmate be a good reason ?

Time only proved him that he wouldn’t hesitate to go out there if it allowed him to find his soulmate. But not now. Maybe later, once older and trusted by the village he would try to convince them.

In the end, he didn’t had to wait for so long. Destiny was at work, pawns moved one by one. So arrived the Noxian Invasion and with it, war.

From his spot on top of the highest pagoda of the village, Yi saw it. Dark smoke from down the mountains. Not exactly how he expected things to go, it wasn’t someone that caught his attention but a new conflict that would consume Ionia.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
little by little, this gonna take shape, i swear!
> 
> thank you for reading!

Indeed, life wasn’t really easy. For everyone. Yasuo had no luck from the start, taken as responsible for a matter beyond his own birth. This was the destiny of bastards, blamed for existing.

It didn’t start that bad but so to say, it would never leave him alone. Born from a widow already raising a young son, he had literally no use to be there except bringing trouble to this small family. Was it his fault ? No. But nonetheless he was the living proof his mother welcomed a stranger and found comfort before winter. Even desperation for company could be blamed by the other people.

The ones who kept his mother away, heavy stares and hushed judgment.

Difficult to grow up in such environment but he did it. Innocence could protect so much, just like their mother did as she endured the whole blame. Children had no need to know that, she loved them with all her heart. Yasuo and Yone, so different but sharing the same blood.

This small family lived, her two sons oblivious to the tension around them. Until they were old enough and even that was too young to face cruelty. To see parents keeping their child from playing with them. That memory sticked with Yasuo, since he was the most avoided kid of the village.

Adults thought they could say whatever they wanted in front of young children, they wouldn’t understand. But even with that, it stayed. At first a feeling of discomfort then emptiness when age gave understanding.

A mistake that couldn’t be undone. How could someone say this to a child ? It was unfair, no one should ever be blamed for their parent’s crimes or errors. Yet Yasuo was still held responsible for the dishonor of their family, by everyone except Yone and his mother.

Family meant everything, since he had close to no one else to interact with. And it was enough, he was loved, despite whatever the world would say. He wasn’t a mistake, she wasn’t a disgrace.

The other comfort was his soulmate. No idea who or where they were but he had someone. He and Yone would sometimes wonder who theirs predestined could be. No one from their big village, that was a relief. Yasuo simply wished they would love him, for what he was. Unlike anyone else that took pleasure in reminding him of his ‘status’. Someone from elsewhere.

Difficult to spot when one didn’t know where to search, his mark stayed inked over his arm. Mere words but it brought bright hope to know that someone out there waited for him, meant to know him truly.

_« You idiot, stop talking. »_

If the first years he was still a bit upset to be called an idiot by his soulmate upon their meeting, Yasuo changed his mind little by little. Because it was true, as his family pointed out. He could do some dumb things sometimes, all too reckless and he risked much depending on the prank done. Maybe the reason he was hated by half the village but one more wouldn’t hurt, they would hate him anyway.

Except this one. His soulmate was supposed to love him. Would they start bad, on a misunderstanding ? Was it fondness instead ? Already ? So many possibilities and Yasuo couldn’t imagine for shit.

Maybe his soulmate would be the first to say their words, by accident.

Innerly, he wanted so much to travel a little, see in the other villages of the island if he would run into his soulmate. That would be so dumb of him, exactly how they are supposed to meet.

Although their mother asked him not to leave the village so young, it could be dangerous outside. And knowing their situation, he was unlikely to be helped if he found troubles.

Difficult childhood but not the worst. He still received some love, enough to carry on under the bad comments from everyone else. They weren’t even that cruel to Yone, how nice to hold a double standard. Calm, serious Yone, following what he was told and good student. Also because he was a legitimate child, born of love. No, he wasn’t the ‘bad’ one.

Yasuo was, even if it wasn’t his fault. To be kept away and laughed at growing up, it pushed him to reply, fight back. So the noisy kid, up to no good since they wouldn’t be his friends anyway. Why be nice ? Little by little he gave another reason to be disliked by the whole community, such a pain. Maybe all he wanted was some attention, to be acknowledged for anything except his birth condition. Was it so difficult to understand ? Even himself wasn’t aware of this process to cope.

Soon enough Yone was old enough to go to the sword school. So of course Yasuo craved to be recognized too, to be able to learn the ways of the blade. Making a show of rare determination and stubborness, he stood in front of the school until they would accept him too.

In the end, he won and was given the occasion to prove his worth. What a great day for him. Another step on the way to recognition.

In the steps of his brother, Yasuo became too a good swordman. So much he caught the attention of the Elder Souma, ready to teach him the wind techniques to such youngster full of potential. He still had to work on his patience and respect but he could pretend to master what only one managed in this village.

Just like the wind, prompt to be violent but kind in very rare occasions. One that couldn’t be tamed.

Who knew ? Maybe in a few years he would be respected as well, at least not to be insulted or laughed at anymore. This was all he craved. Secretly, Yasuo also wanted to clear their mother’s honor, by proving he wasn’t the mistake they called. He wasn’t meant to bring desolation to this village.

So close to his goal, he had so little time to think about his soulmate. Except at night, alone. Reaching for his mark, Yasuo left his thoughts wander a little. A few dreams, about meeting them at last. But he was so bad at imagination, no way to give a face.

It was going to happen, soon enough. Once he was recognized as a warrior and able to travel far from his village.

Sometimes it was better not to wish so hard, for it made everything happen too fast. One day, Noxus invaded and the call for war was heard throughout their lands. Time to fight and defend.

For Yasuo, this was clearly his occasion to prove himself. Yet he couldn’t join the other warriors since he was bound by duty to protect Elder Souma. In no way he was to leave the school.

War raged, words of many victims and blood running the valleys like their rivers. It couldn’t possibly end soon. Yasuo waited and waited, doing his duty but innerly burning to join the fights. This was what he was made for, honor of protecting these sacred lands and the thrill of the battlefield. Nothing he really knew from before but he could just want to fight too.

Until words ran about an attack in a village not so far. His occasion to seize. Letting his duty and hesitation aside, Yasuo ran to the battlefield, ready for everything.

Little did he know about the turn it would take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we be trying   
pour one for yasuo, he had some troubles back then


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
sorry, busy week-end, should be back on track o/
> 
> thanks for reading!! <3

Peace had been broken and the land attacked. It juste took some time for the information to reach the Wuju village, so far from everything even within its own nation. The only warning was heavy smoke, ashes falling in the village like corrupted snow. Children grew quiet, running back home.

The village wasn't attacked, since it was known from no one outside. The population calmed down, waiting in deafening silence. They weren't the target but would they soon ? Wuju was to be protected also. If any invader made it up the mountain, they would be killed without mercy. But for now, nothing happened. Wait and see.

Unless they were threatened, the villagers wouldn't seek more about Noxus or the invasion. Not their business, after all. Neutrality was important, specifically now.

Yi couldn't understand that decision. Lifes were at stake. Other villages of the island were attacked, many people killed and the solution would be to do nothing. This seemed unfair, even knowing Wuju couldn't be revealed.

From the roof of the pagodas, he saw the never ending smoke coming from the valleys. Noxus and its poison, running the land. And they said not to intervene.

More than ever, he wanted to go outside. He wasn't a child anymore, he was perfectly able to defend himself. So why not use this to protect other people ? Or their land ? If in the end no one stopped Noxus then without a doubt they would find their village. In no way Wuju was safe as long as intruders stayed on this land.

On another note, Yi was used to comply and follow what the elders said. Even when it was the opposite of what he wanted. Like forbiding him to go outside, just to find his soulmate. There was always a good reason to keep him here. Always.

Now he had too a reason to go outside. Not in the optic of finding his soulmate but an occasion nonetheless. He wanted to help, aware that a massacre was potentially happening.

Days after day, Yi lost patience against this cruel decision. Why was there still dark smoke ? Their land kept burning and the villagers did nothing except urging their kids to stay home.

He knew he wasn’t exactly the only one thinking that. Other ones from his generation were equally revolted to see Ionia bleed and burn while the village kept its quiet life.

Until one night, when Yi decided it was useless to stay here playing oblivious. In the cover of the early hours, he prepared for the fights then left the village, taking the family armor and blade with him.

Many emotions caught him that night : the thrilling freedom of moves, the vicious guilt for breaking a rule and most of all the urge to be useful. It guided him down the mountain, to the closest village he could find. Devastated.

Even before reaching it he could see the difference between untouched land and the one soiled by Noxus’s passage. Corpses, limbs, blood and the worst smell around. Would the land recover from this, if it ever came to stop one day ? All that mattered was harmony and now it was broken.

Each village he came accross was empty of life, sometimes a few lucky souls had survived but there was so little to do. After helping as he could, Yi chased desolation, after Noxus.

And it led him to his first kill. Not even difficult, a mere enemy soldier that he found looking into the ruins of another destroyed village. To see a noxian in a house where blood splattered the walls didn’t help their case.

Yi would remember it forever. And count. Each single person killed, for this wasn’t the reason he was taught Wuju. But he used it this way and it could help to protect innocents. If he had to spill blood for Ionia, he would, at the prize of his own responsibility. The sickening feeling stayed but not just for what he did himself. It was worse than he would dare imagine, death at every corner.

Compared to the quiet life at the village, this was such a shock.

The end of innocence.

Always running, looking for the actual fights since till now he merely found the ghosts left behind. Until Yi reached the sea. It was elsewhere and he had to follow. Slowly he really understood that he wasn’t going back home soon.

From the start he knew he wouldn’t be back in a few days, weeks. Even more since the elders and his parents would be waiting for him with a harsh punishment. But now it took so long and he barely arrived on the coast, more smoke to be seen on the other side.

Of course Bahrl wouldn’t be the only island attacked, there were bigger ones with certainly the most important symbols.

Ready for everything, Yi crossed the sea and joined the main land.

Too many things busied his thoughts, between the same guilt and growing fear about Noxus. This was going so badly, from what he saw. Would this end one day ? Was Ionia even able to gather its strenghts and fight back ? This was an issue in itself, violence had nothing to do there.

On the other hand, the land had to be protected and defence became a priority.

Would he die ?

As strong as he was, Yi had to consider this possibility. In no way this was alike what he expected from war. But what he discovered in cruelty and violence, he gave it back perfectly. No one knew Wuju, Noxus wasn’t even familiar with ionian ways in battle so there was no way for these poor soldiers to understand what happened to them.

They deserved this. The first to attack was at fault, himself just like every other warrior merely fought back. This building hatred helped, in a way. Not to lose the point, after so much time.

Yi still wondered how he was still able to stand and fight more. Exhaustion was terrible yet he found himself restless, quick into the battlefield.

Each day had its new corpses, another river taking a red hue just like grass and flora. Red was everywhere, everything. Until one could imagine lose their mind. Cut, stab, dodge. Kill.

Yi felt that too, lingering nausea for bringing death instead of teaching. He had made his choice long ago and the war wasn’t over. No way back until the end.

The clash of iron rang in his mind, stuck there even the few times he could rest a little. Far, back in the closest villages not found by Noxus.

Would this even end one day ? No answer would come. The mission remained the same

The fights there were violent, like everywhere else but being in the most populated region, it meant a stronger defence. In the end, this was where Yi went by chasing noxian soldiers.

Not alone anymore. It was still a comfort to see that many other like him decided without hesitation to take their weapons and pay blood for blood. All united by the same purpose, against the same enemy.

Among these warriors met in the battlefield, one kept his attention. The one always ready to fight, no matter what. Everyone was but this particular man had something. No idea what.

Just someone he noticed from time to time, still alive despite charging recklessly. Maybe he expected this youngster to die soon, because of his behavior and tendancy to fight too many alone. But sometimes he saw him, glimpse of a blade and the fury of wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you better watch out, you better watch out~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!  
sometimes i hate my internet co, it cut for all the night and couldn't post shit till now
> 
> thank you for reading!!

_He won’t last long._

Many things showed that one wouldn’t survive the war but it seemed carefully balanced by his skill. It was reckless, almost suicidal to run into enemy lines like he did. Each time Yi saw him somewhere in the valleys, running between arrows, he wondered how he made it out alive.

If at first he noticed, it was because he was used to look after any ally in the battlefield. Always aware of his surroundings and ready to help if he could. So it wasn’t long before he remembered a few faces, weapons. And that bold one.

Not very old, that was clear. The rush of the fight was strong within him and it potentially motivated any warriors around to see such determination. Ready to face death. Or maybe he wasn’t planning to so soon. In any case he was definitely younger than Yi by a few years, from the rare times he saw him nearby. Wonderful youth, burning to fight and spill blood. But there was still a form of respect in his techniques.

No idea why he kept looking after that youngster. Each time he heard the wind rustling the leaves, he was almost surprised to see him standing. _Not weak_, I would say. Noxians were truly strong opponents, never to be underestimated. Yet that man survived, even after breaking into the lines and fighting his way out. _Foolish_. That sort of person earned Yi’s respect.

There was nothing more honorable than proving one’s worth in a fight. In a lethal one more than anywhere.

Why this specific warrior among all that he met and fought alonside ? No answer would come. Maybe his thoughts had found someone to focus on to forget a little his own exhaustion and the damage of the war. He couldn’t help that, to look after any ionian. This was hell and the smallest spark of hope could change everything.

The few times he could go back to one of the villages behind to rest a little, he wondered quietly. Would he see this warrior again next day ? Was he still alive ? It made so little sense to pay attention to a single soul among all the others but here he was.

Then came a time when his mind was at peace after catching a glimpse of the other swordman. _Still alive_. Days could pass easily between these occasions but it still appeased him to know at least one person survived till now.

Little by little the fights moved to another area, further in land. Ionia wasn’t exactly united by a unique leader but in times like these, information ran quickly. So everyone alive followed and chased Noxus.

Would it end one day ?

Yi grew weary to make his way between corpses. Noxians or ionians, it still left a bitter taste to witness this. Noxus seemed to have so little consideration for its own people and army, awful. No mercy allowed though. He made sure not to have too much compassion for the enemy. They attacked first. Remember these poor people slayed in their own houses. Violence brought in a sanctuary.

With renewed resentment and determination, Yi carried on. That taste would never leave but he could hope to save what he could.

That same hope was still alive. He could see it in the villages and hidden places thankfully portected from the invasion. Inhabitants would offer a roof and food for any warriors, for the great sacrifice. Probably many had lost family since the beginning but it was important to help those alive. Ionia healed itself even as it fell apart in blood.

_Where is he ?_

It had been some time since he saw the youngster. Yi started to worry a little, at the back of his mind. It guided his steps through battle, looking for a specific person. Vicious fear would nest in his chest at the thought of indeed finding him down, fallen. Why care so much ? _I don’t know_. Probably because that one was young and Yi felt like it wasn’t fair to die at that age. Honorable indeed but truly a waste.

A flash of steel in his vision and he prepared to strike. _Here_. Surrounded, of course. Such eagerness to fight could only lead him to this. No need to wait, Yi cut his way through the enemy. Swift move, these noxians didn’t even see him coming. And then it was done, bodies fell to the ground with barely more than a garbled sound.

Red covered his blade, sad reminder of his deeds. Yi looked around for the other swordman. At least he could help. His worry was soothed for now, as he took a good look at this man. The latter wasn’t so calm but probably the rush of the battle still rang within him.

Before Yi could give a few words to warn him, the other one spoke with obvious relief : « Holy shit, that was really smooth. I swear, I thought they got me but no. Thank you. »

_What_.

Frozen on the spot, mind gone. In the middle of a damned valley, bodies scattered there and there. Unsure he heard this right.

_Really ?_

It sounded impossible but it could be truly. Or his mind was playing him a trick. His words. He just heard his words, the same inked over skin since birth. Too shocked to move, Yi tried to think. _My words…_ Yet the feeling was too foreign to be described.

It wasn’t time for all this. He caught himself in what may have looked like zoning out and paid attention to the other man. _Soulmate… ?_ No, not now.

Surely the silence given wasn’t really inviting to more words, since the latter was already leaving. Distance put between them, merely a gaze to him before he ran to join the fights again.

All this left Yi right there, too much noise in his mind and heart unsure about the conduct to follow. Soon enough reason took over and calmed everything. The day wasn’t over, he had to move fast or he could be very well considered dead. Within seconds he remembered everything, as if he had been pushed into freezing water for a time, dulling his senses.

_What was that ? It’s him ? Stop, stop. Not now_.

Survival was important, possibly helping other people was important too. He couldn’t let himself go like that, it wasn’t even sure. And that reckless idiot was gone the gods knew where to get himself close to be killed. Really, what was happening ? It was already too much to fight this war, no need to make him hope for nothing.

So he cast his thoughts away until he found a time to rest. Then it would be time to process everything.

~

_My soulmate ?_ It sounded strange and highly unlikely yet here he was. Something simple explained his unsure state of mind : he hadn’t been able to reply, the other man rushing into the battlefield after what must have been too long to wait. So he couldn’t say yet if that was his soulmate indeed since words weren’t fully exchanged.

Thinking of, really what a piece of work he got as soulmate. Everything considered, most chance was that he indeed met his soulmate, even as the process couldn’t finish. So now he knew. _A man_. From outside the village indeed. Yi lingered on this, questionning himself.

In the end, he wasn’t bothered by the concept of being that person’s soulmate. If it was true. Meant to find and complete each other. If they were bound then it was for a good reason.

Even right now, in a safe village, Yi couldn’t stay calm on this. It felt weird but not really uncomfortable. Not complete yet. There was still a missing part. How ridiculous not to be able to say the words back. _Well, it’s his fault too_. And the war’s fault. Everyone. Whoever chose destiny had a peculiar sense of humor, to make soulmates meet in the middle of the battlefield and not even able to return words.

The latter had run to fight. Foolish till the very end. He could die before they fully met. That sudden thought wasn’t welcome at all, Yi brushed it off quickly before it could hurt too much. _Don’t be an idiot. Stay alive_.

Such bad luck, it was almost funny. Beyond the fact of finding his soulmate during such troubled time, he wasn’t even sure to see him next day. Yi wanted this with all his heart but before it was already difficult to find the latter.

_Soulmate__s_. He couldn’t realize yet. Someone he had been looking for. Someone waiting for him. And now he was so close, somewhere.

Needless to say he wouldn’t be able to forget, following days would be greatly guided by his search. His heart ached for the reunion. Was it all it took ? To run in the fights till he found an idiot ready to dance with death ? Two decades spent longing and it could be over soon. Almost enough to forget war raged out there, everything wasn’t so happy and hopeful.

_What should I tell him ?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we getting there, we getting there ~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
sorry, internet back at it or exactly the opposite
> 
> thanks for reading!!

…_It’s over ?_

On the ground, leaning painfully against a tree, Yasuo had so little to do. Well, he knew it would come and get him one day. To look for the fights so closely never taught him but after all, he was here for that. Prove himself. And now he couldn’t stand anymore.

Blood trailed gently down his side. The wound wasn’t so deep but with the exertion he put his body through and the lack of proper rest, something like that was meant to happen. It wasn’t that serious. Not a reason to freak out in itself. But right then it was war and danger was everywhere.

Nearby a few noxian corpses lied in a pool of blood. Not that many but one lucky strike brought him there.

Soft sigh meeting the cool air. _Can’t move_. It was like his whole body gave up at once, after a last effort to take down his enemies. Being in a rather far corner of the main fights, Yasuo hoped he wouldn’t be found by any noxian. What a shitty death it would be. If he was credible enough, he could play dead and pray silently.

_What now ?_

The most important was to resist to panick. It wouldn’t help at all, even if his survival instinct kicked in. Fairly tempted not to give a fuck about his condition and try to stand and leave. Yet as soon as he tried, his body screamed in pain. It wouldn’t do. Great exhaustion seized him, maybe light headed because of blood loss. But did he really lose enough for that ?

_Move, dummy. Not going to die here_.

Since he wasn’t able to do much, Yasuo reluctantly settled to rest a little, save some energy for later. Who knew ? Maybe he would feel better and manage to get the fuck out of the area.

It hurt, to a level difficult to ignore. In last resort he kept his hand over the wound.

So he paid attention to whatever sound came around, if there were people or not. Sometimes he imagined hearing something and his heart raced instantly, holding his breath. _Can still fight_. He could try, his blade was still in grasp. The question was if he would have enough strenght for this.

_Someoooooooone……Pleeeeeeeeeeeease ?_

Ionian, if that wasn’t too much to ask. Or he would be doomed. The sun was getting low in the sky, soon it would hide behind the hills. A night in that bloody mess didn’t sound really fun, even less since it could lead to death if he wasn’t able to recover.

As he stayed aware of anything around, Yasuo still kept some hopes. There was one guy he saw a few times and came to help once. Which was really bold, since he followed Yasuo right in his risky charges. Not a lot who would dare to. Himself was very aware of the danger he faced but he was good at it, rushing into the fight then retreat.

That one was strong enough to follow. And seemed to pay attention to whatever happened in the battlefield because otherwise it was difficult to see he needed help.

Thoughts drifted bit by bit. He had time, it could give him a way out later. So nothing else to do except thinking.

_Where is he ?_ Because if that guy was around, he would help, that was sure. Or maybe any of his ionian fellow. But since he was to get bored waiting for either death or salvation, he might as well hope for someone specific.

It was logical, no ? He saw that one fighting, he could trust him to make it out alive. Maybe something else came to play but it made so little sense. That weren’t able to talk because of the raging conflict. Yet that man stayed on his mind now. Not because he was handsome or anything. _No, not related_.

At the occasion, that was quite an awkward pause when the other one helped him. Yet Yasuo was sure he said nothing stupid or insulting. So he didn’t understood the silence that followed, how that man looked at him. Probably he made a fool of himself by requiring some help. The quickest reflex was to return to fight, at least to forget his own behavior of an instant.

Another sigh, a bit more melancholic. Was he really thinking about that kind of stuff right now ? It wasn’t useful, at a moment where he risked to die depending on his luck.

Testing, he couldn’t get up yet so another reason to feel down.

_Anyooooone…. But not a noxian please_.

There weren’t even animals around, they had deserted the whole area because of the noise and probably because of the dead people down there. Maybe for the best, no need to give Yasuo a heart attack because one creature decided to sneak on him by curiosity.

Just the soft noise of the wind, crude smell of blood and the feeling of dirt under him.

Then there was a noise. Something too sudden to be anything from nature. It had Yasuo try to turn a little to its source, only to find someone standing close.

_SHIT_. There went his heart, may he rest in peace.

Yasuo made a surprised noise, too spooked to even have the damned instinct of shutting up to hide. Good for him, it wasn’t an enemy. After the initial scare, reason came back and he recognized the newcomer.

« Oh fuck, it’s you. » Only to breathe, slumping back against the tree.

It was the same man that got his back last time, at the moment looking at him curiously. He came closer till Yasuo was practically at his feet, gazing up at him. Yes, definitely the guy. He recognized that strange blade, with its two rings.

_Damn, he found me !_ Now he relaxed a little, he would certainly survive the day.

« Don’t scare me like that, I thought I was dead already. » Half laughing, half breathless because of the tension and his poor condition. The latter kneeled to join his level, blade put down and a quite serious expression that made Yasuo react despite himself : « Am fine, I swear. Just needed to sit and catch my breath. »

No doubt it sounded as dumb as he looked right now, in a pathetic state. But what was pride ? Yasuo couldn’t bring himself to beg and cry for help, as beaten as he was.

« You idiot, stop talking. You’re bleeding there. » Said lowly, along a small gesture to indicate his side. But it was the least of Yasuo’s concerns.

Because he just heard it. _Oh. OH. __WAIT_. It didn’t make sense but it was true no ? He just heard his words. If he had been shocked before, now nothing came as close. _MY SOULMATE ?_

Wide gaze directed to that man, who stood it without hesitation. Yasuo went dead silent, shaken. _Really, really ?_ He was just minding his business, bleeding all alone and now his damned soulmate arrived to help him. Even in the most sweetest tales this seemed unlikely.

It had to be him. His heart went crazy, along a very strange feeling that snaked within him. Both relief and joy. Was it supposed to feel this way ?

Too many things happened in his mind. Like this new thought : _wait, does he know too ??_ Since he already spoke to him then of course he knew. Then it was time for Yasuo to literally lose it on whatever was the first things he told him. In no way it had been romantic or nice, he felt like stuck by shame. _Oh no_. Far from him the idea of ruining someone’s life by having crappy words but chances were he probably did it.

It made sense. That silence the other time, it was that. And yes he spoke to him. Realization dawned on him. _Shit_. Exactly like him right now, too quiet.

_Say something !_

« It’s…It’s you ? » Too high for his own taste but the situation was far too unhoped for to care. He just found his soulmate. After all these years waiting.

The latter seemed about to proceed to a close inspection but stopped himself, gaze somehow kinder.

« I think so. Hello, I’m glad to have found you. » Small smile, at the limit of shy or something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jhjghgh i got so much inspiration for this, gotta cut Yasuo's POV in two updates to get it right


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn i could post in time
> 
> thank you for your patience and kind words~

Yasuo couldn’t, it was too much. His soulmate. Already he felt like he got it bad and would never recover. How dared the gods give him such a man as soulmate ? Merely a first true meeting but he seemed genuinely kind. And a fierce fighter.

Be sure, make it real. He brought a hand to the latter, despite the soreness of the war aching low. Yet before he could indeed brush his face, he stopped. No daring.

His special someone, his other half. They were meant to complete each other and now he got a mountain of emotions to deal with in such ridiculous situation.

« Y-You’re not going to disappear ? That’s not a dream or a joke ? » Still the disbelief. Now he dared and touched the latter’s face, as gentle as he could with his own trembling.

A light laugh answered him : « No but if it is a dream, then it’s a good one. Now please stop talking and let me. » It went from almost sweet to dead serious in less than a second.

That change actually got Yasuo to stay quiet, although his thoughts remained loud. So he complied and let the latter do, just as hands made a close inspection of his wounds.

« Thank you. Are you hurt elsewhere ? »

Obviously he had already spotted the biggest wound, not even bleeding anymore. All was dry now but still aching. Yasuo was relieved nonetheless, the other man was very careful and made sure not to press on this uselessly.

« No, no. Just, I’m so tired and this was the last straw. » Not really proud of himself for admitting this but he could say it.

Quiet hum, as the latter considered the situation. Then he spoke again, meeting his gaze : « You need to cover the wound, at least until we find a village to properly take care of it. I doubt you have any bandage so the only solution is your scarf, whatever you call that. »

_Hey, not nice_. But it was true, he had nothing of the sort and the other man seemed to have nothing except his armor.

« Mmmpf, fine. But just a bit, I like that one. »

It was still large enough for the other man to take a good piece of it without causing too much damage. In a strange reflex Yasuo closed his eyes and braced himself at the sound of fabric tearing. Another sigh for this day, a little saddened to see his precious scarf cut. On the other side, it would probably hurt a lot if he had nothing to cover the wound, at least to keep it clean.

Then the latter got to work, pulling Yasuo closer to have enough room to bandage. Silence settled during this, to a point even him didn’t dare to break it. His soulmate gave all attention to what he did, firm yet careful hands over him.

Still, it was peculiar to have him in direct contact with skin but Yasuo could just blame himself for his poor choice of armor. Now he shall take responsibility since his side was a little exposed.

Nothing to say unless to break the latter’s concentration so he indeed stayed quiet. Meanwhile he let his own heart go crazy on the latest news. _He’s here. My soulmate_. Just thinking about it made him a little emotional, struggling not to show it so soon.

At last it was done, his wound securely bandaged in the limits of their situation.

« I hope this will do. Now we have to move, it’s not safe here. »

« Totally agreed. Just, how do we do ? » It got Yasuo a little unsure because this wasn’t going to be easy.

« You can’t move ? » Hint of equal worry, sweet to hear.

« Still a little but I can’t stand. Like, really. I feel like shit. » It wasn’t fun to admit a weakness, even less right now when they were technically in danger.

« I see. »

Yasuo winced a little but the latter said nothing else. He seemed to consider several solutions for their problem. Only now he registered the hand lingering on him all this time. Maybe neither thought about it at first, like a reflex.

No way to ignore it now that he felt it, warm contact over his leg even through fabric. So he did what burned him and covered the latter’s hand with his.

As soon it made him react, gaze down as to indeed check what was done. Then he looked back at Yasuo, new emotion not really clear but present nonetheless. Oh it would be interesting once they were something safe, to discuss and register everything between them.

« I can carry you. Just, it won’t be very practical since I have a blade too. » It came out less calm then before, possibly to push emotions for a moment. It wasn’t useful right now.

« Okay okay. » Quick nod, still under the lasting feeling of warmth. This would be quite difficult if a mere touch got to them like this.

The other stood and then started the difficult task of carrying Yasuo in a rather stable way. He couldn’t even stand and walk even with help or his legs gave up and buckled. _Ahhhhh…._ Not pleasant at all, he felt like a burden and everything ached.

They still found something correct, carrying him over his shoulders and holding his arm to be sure he wouldn’t fall. For Yasuo, it wasn’t much the overly ridiculous position he was in than the display of strenght made at the occasion. The latter picked him up with little effort, seemingly. _Damn_.

After making sure they forgot nothing – especially their respective weapons – the latter didn’t wait any longer and moved. They had to find a village soon.

Not make this more difficult than it was for his soulmate, Yasuo stayed rather quiet the time of the walk. They still had to stay low and not catch attention, as long as they were in the area of the fights. It never ended, clash of steel resonating afar.

Little by little the rhythm lulled him to a more sleepy state, unsure about what he was doing at the moment. Just, he was holding someone close and he was happy. No idea why he felt like this, knowing how horrible war was. But it lingered, clinging to them.

« Take it easy, don’t exhaust yourself. » Small whisper, since they were close enough for this. He still cared for the latter, his soulmate after all. And he would hate to see him hurt in an attempt to help.

« I’m already exhausted so I might as well make it quick. How do you feel ? » Still a little breathless, this must cost him in extra energy.

« Mmmh not really bad. Just too tired. »

« The village shouldn’t be too far from here. Hold on a little longer. »

Was it him or the latter still sounded gentle with him, despite the whole mess they went through ? As dead innerly as he was, Yasuo felt this spark thrumming with life. It was nice. Maybe this was normal for soulmates, to be at ease so quickly.

Like this, he could hold him as much as he wanted – in the limits of his remaining strenghts of course.

Soon he would fall asleep or pass out, it wasn’t sure because of his condition. Yasuo didn’t have the will to fight it, having given too much since he joined the fights.

Suddenly a question came, kicking his priorities. Wait… Last effort before he would indeed lose grasp on reality.

« Tell me…your name ? »

It was dumb, wasn’t it ? No meet someone and not ask for a name as quick. Yasuo had troubles to think straight, why he didn’t sooner. And now it was vital, he needed to know. To make it more real.

« Yi. My name is Yi. » Said in a breath, as soon as the latter registered the question.

_Yi…_

« Eh, it’s nice…mine’s Yasuo. Remember it, the best swordman you’ll ever meet… » An attempt at sounding proud and confident but he wasn’t really in the right position for this.

Piece by piece, his heart was complete. Now he had a name to cherish.

« I will never forget you, Yasuo. »

Somehow Yi’s grasp on him tightened, making this new link stronger. Too good to be true. In a way, yes, because merely a minute after that soft exchange Yasuo passed out. Body exhausted but mind perfectly at peace.

Nothing bad would happen now that he had his soulmate by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry, i got classes tomorrow and i couldn't get so soon on yi's POV  
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm so hype for this holy moly


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
it feels like a year kjqgjgjhrag sorry
> 
> thanks for reading!! <3

« Yasuo ? »

A little worried. Before the latter was quiet like this but right now his grasp over Yi got weaker. So he asked lowly, to check on him.

Time went by, just like them in this now untouched land. No answer. _Oh no_. So Yasuo had indeed passed out, or fallen asleep. Knowing the extent of his wounds and lack of sleep, it was rather the first option. In any case, Yi wasn’t glad, far from it. Not like panick but he deeply disliked to know his barely found soulmate was in such condition.

« We’re almost here, courage. » Said in a breath, even as Yasuo wouldn’t be able to hear him.

More than ever he had to fight his exhaustion and body limits, or it could bring them more troubles. Already to carry the latter wasn’t so easy, not after all he had to do during the war but he could take it.

At the limit of breathless, Yi made his way to the village he knew not far. They would have some peace here. Just to imagine a bed and proper rest, it motivated him a little more. Until then, he would suffer little by little. Good thing he wasn’t wounded, unlike Yasuo.

_Yasuo…_ Completely out of context but he lingered on that name. Now he knew, that special someone had a name. Yi focused on that instead, to forget even for a time his own body screaming for a break.

A name to he would grow to love, if they had time for that. This was how it was supposed to go, wasn’t it ? To fall in love and stay as close as possible. Years ago when he was thinking about it, Yi didn’t know how he would react. It was strange to hear he would meet his soulmate then they would fall in love with each other. Quickly or not ? Adults never gave a proper answer to this.

Now he saw his soulmate, it was still very fresh yet he could honestly imagine loving this man. Maybe destiny played its part, maybe they were meant to meet because they were supposed to enjoy each other’s company. Giving this too much thoughts was difficult right now, Yi gave up. But his grasp over the latter remained strong, part of him already ready to accept him.

Taking himself out of this wondering, he managed to find the village afar, on the side of a hill. Another good news for the day, they would make it out alive, together.

Last big effort, he ran fast to the near gates.

« We did it, Yasuo. »

~

Coming back to one of the free villages and cities always gave a feeling of comfort. Both because it meant being safe, even for a short time and because of the welcome. Not everyone could fight this war although a big part of the population still left to defend the lands. The ones who stayed for diverse reasons made sure to help their lands the way they could, so it was by taking care of any refugees, warriors, anyone that stopped by.

Since the beginning of the conflict they organized little by little and each village had something to give and to help. Any wounded could get help indeed and the starved would find food.

So it led Yi here, in one of the few houses changed to welcome fighters and wounded. Gladly welcomed in this village he knew for a few weeks or so. Quickly he took Yasuo somewhere calm so he could take care of his wound. There were a few villagers present to help with any injury but he wanted to take this in charge himself. No need to bother them. Also, he wouldn’t let Yasuo away for him yet.

The latter was still uncouncious as he had him to lie down in a bed, like his whole body had proceeded to a proper shut down to stop him from doing more reckless thing. Survival instinct.

Yi lost no time and got to work. The armor was in the way, he started by taking it off. Sneakily a thought came on how he was already undressing his soulmate but he took care to kick it down as quick. _This is different_. Not so urgent but to treat the wound was important so Yasuo could have a full recovery. Nonetheless, Yi decided just to bare his upper body, no need for more since he was just wounded on his side.

That metal part on his left shoulder was quite bothering so he took it off too. The only thing he didn’t expect was to notice words inked over skin. _Oh_. Before even reading it, Yi knew. It warmed him slightly just below the nape. Instinct caused him to reach gently, take a quick look despite having already a task at hands.

It was true. All of it. There he read the first thing he told Yasuo in a rather stupid urge. Not what he wanted to tell him, he had been thinking a little about it but it was too late. In fact, finding his soulmate wounded against a tree and doing as if he was merely taking abreak, it would make anyone react.

He couldn’t take his gaze off the mark, careful hand carressing slowly. And Yasuo had grown up with a fond remark over skin. I’m sorry. It wasn’t so dramatic but Yi admitted it wasn’t the best mark to have. Then he remembered his own words and in the end Yasuo did deserve these words too.

Small sigh in that quiet room, getting emotional over his passed out soulmate. _Idiot_. Then Yi was cut in his not so short observation by one of the villagers bringing him some water as he asked, to clean the wound. A rather young boy, probably too much to be able to fight.

« Oh, thank you. »

« It’s nothing. Tell us if you need something else. » The vitality of youth, clear in his voice. Anyway he didn’t stay long, leaving the room as quick with hasty steps. Mere presence of a few seconds.

All the same it took Yi out of whatever soft thoughts he had, slightly taken by surprise. He recovered as soon as the boy left, though possibly red came shyly to his cheeks. Nothing too deep, just a reminder of what he newly discovered.

Resolute not to get carried away, he focused on his ‘mission’ and unwrapped the improvised bandage. _Don’t think about it. Not now._ Yet the thought stayed at the back of his mind, for it only made their link stronger.

Discipline was needed, he cast everything off and cleaned the wound as he could after putting that bit of scarf away. It wasn’t even fully stained, maybe he would be able to clean it later. _Remember, it’s blood. Nothing worse to take off_.

After some time it was done, the wound properly bandaged and no worry for his condition. Without a doubt Yasuo would sleep – or stay uncouncious – like this for quite a long time so it was fine. Yi let himself relax a little, his soulmate would live. It wasn’t doubted before but there was a calmign side to know he had done all he could to keep him healthy. The latter didn’t budge once, too far away. Not even a noise. But he noticed after some time that Yasuo would hold his hand if he entwined with his. Mere reflex but soft nonetheless.

It wasn’t long before exhaustion caught up with him too. So much effort for the day, plus that long walk with a dead weight – no matter how nice Yasuo was – didn’t help. Yi needed to sleep and all came back as soon as he was done taking care of the latter.

So powerful need to rest, he couldn’t even fight it. Before he fully realized it, he had leaned on Yasuo’s bed and fell asleep right there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> step by step~


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY  
tomorrow i gonna cry of exhaustion too but worth it
> 
> thanks for reading, i'm glad to hear from you all <3333

_Uhhhhh…. Oh shit I passed out_.

Barely up and Yasuo jolted awake, breath caught for a few seconds like after a bad dream. Yet there was no memory of this, just empty thoughts. As his breathing evened, he noticed his surroundings and something quite ‘wrong’. He was in bed, somewhere. In a house.

_Wait, where… ?_

Then the second thing he registered was the presence by his side, making him turn to look. Yi. As soon he felt relief flood from the mere sight of his soulmate deep asleep. _Oh. Guess we’re safe then_. Of course they were somewhere safe since he was comfortably settled in a bed, in a quiet place. It would be quite a stark difference if they were painfully surviving in the woods in wait for the sunrise.

Impossible to get his gaze off the latter, even if he tried. Yasuo rolled on his side, to face him without struggle and stayed like this. Yi was sleeping, head resting on his bed and one of his hands entwined. With his. Miraculous and ridiculous at the same time that he didn’t notice yet and enjoyed it nonetheless. Was it part of being soulmates ? To get used to each other’s presence quickly ? To seek contact ? He didn’t know if that was his own initiative or if Yi did it on purpose. In any case, the result was the same and he squeezed gently his hand as to check the truth.

Not even a day since he indentified his soulmate yet it felt like he knew him from before. Just a general feeling, rather difficult to explain since it was obvious they never met before the war.

_Wait, a day ?_ He had no idea what time it was, if it was early morning or the end of that same day. His latest memory was being carried to a village and there was still some natural light out there. No way to know how long he slept neither but it must have been quite long.

Trying to count or give numbers randomly wouldn’t help him so Yasuo didn’t. Far too tired but a lot less compared to the moment Yi found him down. It would take a lot more time to completely recover, as reluctant as he was. He didn’t like to sit still in one place for too long while the war raged outside.

However, now he had Yi by his side and he needed to rest too. So maybe it wouldn’t be so miserable to stay at the village a few days. Caring about health went in the two ways, it was time to worry for his soulmate. From what he could guess, the latter wasn’t wounded – he wouldn’t have been able to carry him then – but he still required some sleep. The fights weren’t easy on anyone and without problem he could imagine Yi never slept a lot, prefering to look after allies.

_I’ll make sure he gets some rest_. If the latter was as stubborn as him, it might be a little difficult to convince him to stay down and recover but he would find a way. Probably the idea of keeping an eye on Yasuo wasn’t bad, he would comply.

Right then, the first urge was to take him in bed too. Just to let him get some sleep, nothing else. _No. Not even thinking about it._ This was probably very uncomfortable for Yi to stay in such position, no doubt it would ache later.

Yasuo gave it a few thoughts about how to properly do this without waking him up. It would be difficult but he was determined to take him closer. _Gotta stand and pick him up_. Yet the risk to wake him was high. During all this Yasuo stayed in the same position, lying on his side with soft gestures to the latter. Hands lingered to keep contact, always.

_Okay, let’s do it_.

Yet he had just the time to sit up in bed before Yi stirred lightly and sighed, awake. Sleepy eyes opened, falling on him after a lazy look around the room. _Ah, shit_. He was never really good at being discreet.

« Hey, hello. Sorry for that, I swear I just wanted to have you lie down without waking you. » Despite himself he spoke fast, that same fluster lurking nearby since he found his soulmate. Without thinking he returned to face Yi and pressed forehead to forehead after following what felt right.

The latter wasn’t completely awake, that was obvious. Still very quiet, he seemed to fight the urge to sleep more, some motivation to stay focused. He returned Yasuo gaze, especially when they stayed in such close contact. Then he squeezed his hand, on reflex or not, bringing attention back on this detail.

« Not your fault. Although indeed I wouldn’t say no to a peaceful rest. » He sounded just like he looked, a little out of it yet there was an effort to pay attention to his surroundings.

No idea why but Yasuo couldn’t help a rather soft side to take over, greatly tempted to take care, give affection that wasn’t supposed to happen so soon but it was so nice to feel. Where this tender side came from ? He had no idea he would react this way to his soulmate but maybe it was just to that kind of character.

The mood shattered next second, when the same kid than before barged into the room : « Oh ! You’re finally awake ! »

_What the fuck is this ??_ The boy was too young to be bearable, Yasuo knew from the start he wouldn’t want to be bothered. Not like this. Not right now. So he got pissed instantly, putting some shy distance with Yi to fully judge that kid.

« Yeah, we’re awake. Now get out before I make you. » No idea why so much violence in the tone and mood but he had to get it out for the occasion lost.

Yi intervened, as the boy looked at him with wide eyes : « It’s alright, don’t worry. But I think we’ll still need to rest a little more. I’ll come with you, I have something to ask to the adults around. »

Not even the time for Yasuo to hold him back or anything. Yi stood and reached the kid near the door, steps barely betraying his exhaustion. It only hurt to know he was still in quite a pitiful state, both were.

« Yi ? » It turned out quite low compared to the previous outburst against the intruder. Yasuo wouldn’t help that.

Strong nod from the kid then he ran out of the room as to guide Yi.

Before he followed, he turned to Yasuo and gave a small gesture along a kind tone.

« I won’t take long. I merely need to ask them a proper bed, this wasn’t the best spot to sleep and my back is killing me. »

_Fair enough_. Then he wouldn’t worry too much. Light steps then Yi was gone, after a last smile to Yasuo. enough to feel blessed and warm for a few minutes.

Indeed it hadn’t been comfortable for the latter to sleep like so he guessed either Yi didn’t care at the moment or he accidently fell asleep on him. As simple as that. In both possibilities it made Yasuo’s heart beat a little faster to know he felt safe enough to stay there, with him.

Now that he was alone, many things hit at once. Like the fact that they got ‘caught’ by a kid and he didn’t even have a valid to feel pissed for that. Yes, it was quite nice but was it too soon ? He couldn’t control this side, he had been so thrilled to find his soulmate and give his heart willingly, it felt like he was already falling. Was it wise ? Yasuo had no idea how it was supposed to go, no one ever told. Maybe because everyone was a little embarrassed to admit they jumped on their soulmate as soon as possible and fucked the same night. No way to know.

Thinking about it, he didn’t think it would be smart to push, as much as he craved to prove the affection he piled up for years. All this build up till it could be released. But patience was important and everyone told him he had to work on it.

Yet it felt so normal to reach like they did, relishing close contact at the waking. Would it be fine ? They barely recognized each other as soulmates a day ago. They ‘met’ each other maybe a week or so ago. But the feelings were there, getting stronger for each second spent by Yi’s side. Was it supposed to feel this way ?

Some would say he didn’t have to worry like this, to claim their love was important and life was short. No need to pin and coward, wait and see till it seemed enough. Thinking about the war, was it wise to wait till it fully bloomed ? They could both die one day, as strong and skilled as they were. No way to avoid this posibility. It stayed at the back of his mind, the horrible outcome of meeting death too early to separate them. It wouldn’t be fair, they had barely found each other. Maybe this explained his urgency to show and prove his increasing love.

For now he would wait. A little. See how it went on Yi’s side, what was his opinion. They knew nothing of each other, possibly sharing their stories could make the link stronger. All this was too sudden, too much thinking for a poor Yasuo already plagued by guilt for deserting his duty. Soon he would have to go back.

Yi came back while he was half blanking out, half dozing sitting. Exhaustion was still quite strong, soon he would just fall and pass out again. Yet the return of his soulmate woke him up a little.

« Hey. » Soft, again. Really, how could he address a specific person with that tone ? On instinct he reached for Yi, hand held out.

Taken without question. As soon it made him smile without meaning too.

« It’s good, they have a bed available for me in another house. Actually, there are two beds since I suppose you wouldn’t let me go so far. » It ended like a light laugh.

Indeed Yi wasn’t wrong. When he mentioned a bed in another place, Yasuo felt suddenly sad at the possibility of distance between them. But since it was offered to let them rest in the same place, he wouldn’t complain.

« Oh damn yes. I’m coming. »

This was a signal to leave. Actually he was quite happy to go from a room to another, even if it meant having to wander carrying his stuff in an unknown village but he would be with Yi so no problem.

The latter helped him immediately, looking for anything he risked to leave behind. Like that piece of scarf, that Yasuo noticed. _Ah_. Sudden sadness of an instant then he let go. Still, it picked his curiosity to see Yi keeping it.

Once they got outside to the house meant to welcome the few warriors stopping by, he instantly felt too aware of his state of clothing. Something he hadn’t paid attention to before but now it came back. Obviously they had to undress him a little to access the wound but considering his base outfit, he was left with barely more than trousers and light armor.

So he was glad to be back inside, not just because he was tired. Both were to an extreme point. They barely made it to a rather small room with a few beds, put down what they were carrying and chose a bed.

Without grace Yasuo flopped in the bed he ‘claimed’ for himself, already feeling sleep ready to catch him as soon as he closed his eyes for too long.

Curious, he went on his side looking for Yi and indeed he had taken the nearby bed. Although he still had to take care of his own armor. Really, Yasuo forgot about it but this right then meant the latter slept with it. No wonder why it wasn’t pleasant.

It took some time but Yi did it, free of the armor. Discreet show but Yasuo paid attention nonetheless, curious for anything. Maybe a little disappointed to see the latter still wore light clothing under this but again, who was he to complain ?

About to wish him goodnight or whatever good rest, Yasuo felt like it was already too late and everything turned dark, definitely too exhausted for this.

At least he knew his soulmate was close to him, in the same room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooooooooo i'm on holiday for two weeks and i have no idea if i'll be able to update even once my series  
but i'll try!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! merry christmas!!
> 
> thanks for readiiiiiiiiing <333

_Already asleep ?_

In no way Yi could judge, he was so tired by their day and the war and the night didn't help yet. He would need some more to last. With mild amusement he noticed how Yasuo fell asleep in such short time, sprawled in bed carelessly.

Just to stand was exhausting, fighting to keep his eyes open till he could relax. Yi made a last effort and lied down in his own bed, facing the latter. Funny, how they came to face each other even through hard times. It could be just a coincidence or a need for this link.

It didn't even take long for him to fall asleep. Barely to close his eyes and linger by thoughts on the calming presence of someone he had been looking for. Then done, he didn't even realize he was drifting off.

~

Comfortable. Yet no doubt something bothered Yi's sleep, if it woke him up. Yet there was no obvious sign as awareness came back. _Maybe I got enough_. Then if it was true, it potentially meant an awful amount of time went by since they moved there. No way for him to forget about the war and everything happening outside, far away. It wouldn't leave him at peace.

Before it could spiral into something worse, he curled into sleep, clinging to it for it never felt enough. Yet Yi's moves met some resistance. Confused, he shifted in bed and found indeed a very very close Yasuo there. In his bed. _Wait, I don't remember that_. It left him slightly shocked to have that kind of 'visit' but also for the fact that he didn't notice as quick. _When... ?_ The question didn't matter, this was done and not once he criticized the move itself. Just that his own reaction time got so slow when it came to Yasuo, as if he was already used to him. For a man easy to wake up under war time, he couldn't believe a grown man joining him in bed didn't bother him once.

It was comforting. No way for him to deny it. Yasuo was holding him close, in a position pressed to his soulmate as for protection. And Yi felt like protecting him, this was the most logical reflex.

Little by little the initial confusion faded away, leaving instead soft warmth that couldn't be fully explained. It could be a mere reaction for contact with his soulmate. It could be his starting fluster for finding nothing wrong in that embrace. It could be love taking shape little by little. Yet Yi considered this last option, gaze lost in the room. _I feel it. It's getting stronger_. Whatever that really was, it invaded his thoughts and soul with little to do.

_What am I doing ?_ How was he supposed to react ? There was no guide for this, no way to know how fast or not he should take this. Yi wanted to cherish that man, the one he was meant to find and love no matter the shape it could take. Definitely it would take the romantic direction. But was it right ? Were they going too fast ?

Again he thought about the mark he found, clear words over Yasuo's arms. His. If he followed his urges, he would be seeking cautiously his mark, kissing it gently for the literal proof of their future love. Maybe to meet was the starting point and everything was allowed from there.

_Can we ?_

It echoed in his mind, desperate to know if indeed he was allowed to be open on the affection he held back. So many years looking for his soulmate and now he was uselessly worrying over 'conventions', being seen as eager or anything.

When Yasuo accidently woke him up earlier, he wasn't even truly aware of their situation. He just felt it, their link, the lack of sleep and the proximity of the latter. When the young boy had interrupted them, he was so tired he didn't have to hide the short fluster following.

What was the point of all this ? He couldn't even say. Only time would tell them. But given the way Yasuo had sneaked into his bed and held him at the moment, he doubted they would last long before anything. And it wasn't even a problem so why was he overthinking ?

Just to say it and see if it felt true. _I love him_. It didn't sound really hollow. Yet not fully convinced, since it was so fresh. Yi never doubted their love to be but for now he didn't think it was worthy to be called such. Let it bloom at its own pace. Then he would be proud and glad to say he loved this idiot swordman.

As if called, Yasuo stirred in his sleep and clung to him till his face was pressed to Yi's chest. _Alright. Do as you wish_. This wasn't bothering so he let him do as he pleased.

Less than a minute later he moved again and this time he looked definitely awake, rubbing his eyes. Looking up, he put short distance and indeed met Yi's gaze. What a sweet expression to find there, slightly anticipating and hinted with obvious lack of surprise.

Like someone caught on the spot. _He did it on purpose_. Although Yi didn't dismiss the possibility of a sleepy – then uncouncious – initiative, it still looked like the latter knew what he did.

Again, it wasn't a matter. It maybe caused slight confusion at the beginning but it paid everything back in soft feelings afterward.

To make it clear he welcomed the move, Yi fully returned the embrace and took the latter closer. It was nice, he felt at peace with himself and Yasuo seemed even happier to be right there. Quietly hands settled on each other and this could be properly named a hug.

« I see even the space between our beds was too much. How do you feel ? » Always that touch of fondness after such move. Yi still took care to look after him though.

A deep sigh answered the comment, before Yasuo explained shortly : « Sorry, I really needed that. Mmmh I'm fine. »

« Your wound ? » Slight worry slipped because he couldn't help that.

« Doesn't even hurt. Except if I try to push on it but I'm not that stupid. »

It made them both laugh quietly, echoing in each other. Till silence came back and with it, the powerful awareness of their position. It was far from bad yet Yi still felt it, to be so close to someone he barely knew. Except their link made it feel like they knew each other for years.

Eye contact and a similar emotion touched Yasuo, barely able to hold back. It increased suddenly when he brought a hand to Yi's face, lingering over his cheek. Hyperaware, always.

Something was bound to happen, none of them was strong enough to resist. Why would they ? It was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is holidays so i'm updating when i can and what i feel like updating xD


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boyyyyyyyyy i'm so tired!!
> 
> thanks for reading <3

_Can I ?_

Overwhelming, powerful urge that seized him since he woke up right there. And no doubt it could have been more confusing, he hadn't been the one seeking contact.

Back then, at an unknown hour, Yasuo had woken up and followed his instinct. It wasn't close enough, something pushed him for more. So he did what felt right and joined Yi in his bed. A similar emotion than when the latter had carried him to the village, this soft safety. To hold someone.

When Yi woke up and found him there, he feared he would take it wrong and maybe ask him to go back to his own bed. It never came. Instead, his soulmate took him closer and tightened the embrace. Everything he wanted right now.

All this led him to this exact instant, burning innerly to take more. It was so unfair to be already in love, while they barely knew each other. Yasuo's hand stayed where it was over the latter's cheek, slightest tremor in it.

_I want to kiss him..._ To check if it was true, to show his own dedication. There were so many reasons to crave a kiss and their very situation made him ready to spill his affection.

Where did this come from ? It was probably the result of years waiting for someone he was sure to love. Now that he met him, logic disappeared and his very soul ached to give what he had kept for so long.

However Yasuo stopped himself from going further. It was his choice to make, but theirs. With this chain of events they couldn't even have a proper talk about their relationship. Maybe Yi didn't need nor seeked that kind of relation. Anyway, it was too soon. Some wouldn't care but Yasuo did, despite his typical lack of patience. It would be such a shame if it drove away his own soulmate by acting recklessly.

So he stayed right, frozen in a stupid debate about taking their time or offering his attention.

Time stretched, passing so quickly for him. His heart was beating too fast, no doubt Yi heard it. _Oh no_. Why hide ? There was no use in denying his feelings. Although his body seemed to go instinctly closer, leaning into the latter's space until they shared the same air. One last gap to cross before they kissed.

And Yi, oh dear, he let him do. Not a single move to push him away, to question his intentions. Nothing except that curious gaze hinted with gentleness. It would be alright, if he kissed him. It felt safe enough.

Yet Yasuo decided not to, at least for now. They still had to get to know each other. He still yearned to know everything about his soulmate, past and present. Till they would be truly one.

Before he knew it, his face felt too hot, maybe the result of his thoughts and the rise of anticipation. So tense, as he held Yi.

_Do something !_

Soon it would turn awkward if he did nothing and let this silence settle between them. Eye contact was less easy as he grew embarrassed for this beginning of gesture stopped mid-way.

Gingerly, Yasuo gave a hasty yet meaningful peck to his cheek. Not exactly what he craved to offer but it would do. His own face heated up without he could do anything to prevent it. _No...._ Really, it was so weird to feel that much, such specific emotions even more for someone he didn't really know. Yi would understand, this was why they were put together but this strange urge to show so much remained.

Not always he thought about acting and right now it wasn't the case. Consequences arrived and he returned to cuddle closely with the latter, face burried in his neck. Maybe it was for the best that he merely gave a chaste peck, further it could have shocked him innerly. Imagine, a kiss worthy of all the love he wanted to share.

For some time there were no words. Yi accepted him in his arms and rocked so faintly as one would to lull to sleep. Yasuo didn't dare to look up yet, not over his conflicted approach for a kiss. All would happen in due time, if it was to happen.

Until there was a short move from the latter then a kiss pressed to his forehead. It was real, Yasuo didn't dream that. On reflex he looked up as to seek truth. Yi did the same than him earlier, careful hand over his cheek to linger there.

_Oh. Oh ?_ Was it time already ? Would they ?

Unlike what he expected, it was a smile that appeared, something quite sweet from a man hardened by war and discipline. Like a ray of sunlight during a cloudy day. _Sunshine_. There was beauty in everything and there he found it again, in peaceful intimacy.

« You, so bold in the battlefields, how come you're so shy now ? I was sure you'd already claim me for yourself, I could read it so clearly. Yet you didn't. » Just as his hand trailed from Yasuo's cheek to his jaw and neck, light touch. Otherwise the tone was quite curious, interested by the future answer.

It killed Yasuo and gave him life at the same time. This was so true it could have hurt if it was from someone else but he had no reasons to hide from this.

Everything was heavy of meaning. Yi would have let him if he went further. Maybe for the best, maybe not. Yasuo still couldn't escape his own reason.

Shaking his head, he tried to explain it the best he could : « I don't know, maybe it's too soon. I...I don't want you to feel pressured into this. I know that I love you a lot even if we barely know each other, because I can't help feeling like I at last found my place. It's fine if you don't love me. »

For an instant it stung to say this, even if it was very unlikely. Yasuo wanted to add 'yet', quite positive they were meant to get along but he wouldn't be sure until they talked.

Maybe that spark of sadness was seen – or felt – because Yi's hand returned to hold him gently, so cautious gaze over him.

« I do, please don't imagine the opposite. And you're right, it will still take time at least to get to know each other. But don't feel like you have to hold back. I'll accept everything from you. »

These words helped as much as the bandage over his wound. Healing. Yasuo didn't have a lot of fears about the future, even now that he had a soulmate but it was still a great relief to hear it was mutual. Accept everything ? Probably Yi meant he wouldn't mind his affection and different ways of showing. But he wasn't keen on sharing it fully so soon.

« Thank you. Like yeah, thanks a lot. Not saying I would have cried but maybe yes a little. I don't want to lose the soulmate I always dreamed of. » Not often he let his heart spoken so openly. A laugh escaped him, for the tension leaving. Everything was fine.

« I refuse to lose you too. You're more precious to me than you could imagine, even for such short time. »

Next minute was spent cuddling, after Yi coaxed him in a respectable position for such activity. Yasuo accepted gladly, nuzzling closer.

The topic still remained on his mind though. So dear feeling, warming his chest.

« Still, I'd love to know you. Everything about you, your family, your town. » It was maybe a lot to ask but he wanted to. Then curiosity hit once more, thoughts focusing on one specific thing. _The mark_. « Your mark. Where is it ? »

It became his new priority in no time, rush of impatience for a topic he cared so much about. Something he got almost obsessed during his childhood and young years. The proof they completed each other, that he deserved someone in his life despite what people told him.

With energy he rose and came on top of Yi, just above as his gaze betrayed cheer anticipation.

« Where is it ? Please...I can show you mine first, if you want. »

Before Yasuo could even show his own mark, the latter's hand slided up his arm till it covered the exact inked area. Along a light blush over Yi's cheeks, something quite pretty. _Damn. He already knows ??_

Under this probably disbelieving gaze, Yi spoke softly just as he stroked his mark with obvious reverence : « I found it earlier. When I was taking care of your wound. »

Now that was something else. New information. It was the latter who mended his wound, among everyone that could have done it in the village. Not such a big surprise, Yi could have wanted to do it himself but it still made him melt to realize that. Yasuo had woken up with his soulmate by his side because he fell asleep there after taking care of him.

_So cute..._

« You're making it really hard to hold back... » If his desperate gaze couldn't express his emotions good enough, this would help.

« You don't have to, Yasuo. But let's go back to what you seek. I can show you my mark. »

Thoughts shattered. His heart had so much difficulties to focus on only one thing and now Yi accepted to fulfil his request.

Yasuo nodded eagerly, already trying to guess where it could be. Only patience would give him his answer.

« Then I'll have to get up for this. Please don't fret. » Just as he said it, Yi rose and sat up in bed, even if it was a bit difficult considering the presence of a second person in a bed meant only for one.

As quick Yasuo followed and sat too, hands returning over the latter to resume contact. Never lost. _Where is it ?_ Some people had their mark in the least expected place or the most difficult to reach. So he wondered quietly even though he couldn't stop himself from staring at Yi after each move.

Then Yi took off the top of his clothing, baring his chest. _Fuck_. What a good idea, Yasuo. In such close distance, he missed nothing from that wonderful sight, flesh and muscle revealed without an ounce of visible shame.

_It's here ?_ His gaze wandered over free skin, where he deemed his hands unworthy to touch. Looking for a mark that was maybe there or Yi wouldn't take off his clothes.

While Yasuo searched, the latter moved again and this time turned his back to him. He would have felt a little sad if as quick his gaze hadn't fallen on Yi's mark.

Right there, on his back, just below his nape. Pretty ink over skin, ornating the best it could despite the crude message given. In less than a second Yasuo died of shame. _I can't believe I've done this_. The first words he ever told Yi and it was some swearing. Words he bore since his birth or so.

Victim of his own stupidity, Yasuo didn't really notice how tense the latter was, not completely relaxed. Yi brought a hand to his nape, rubbing there as to sooth a little. Then he turned lightly his head, to gaze at him as much as he could. The faintest touch of red coloring his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this scene was supposed to happen a few chapters ago but inspiration happened  
and now it's cut in two


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last update from holidays, soon i'll go back to my cave and work as much as i can!!
> 
> thank you for reading!!

_« We're sorry, Yi. »_

That was quite cruel to say about a child's mark. Why apologize for something like this ? In his youth, Yi didn't really understood the fuss about that. Yes, he had 'bad' words as mark but it wasn't meant to be mean. Hell, he even came to love these words after some years.

But that memory stayed, engraved just like this mark below his nape. His parents...were sorry, for him. Probably they would have hated to have that kind of mark and wished their son to at least have a nice sentence to cherish. Things were this way, nothing could change this unless his soulmate died.

Sometimes he came to think his parents would rather it was the case. To discover one day his mark was gone. He had been so sad about it, the mere idea to read nothing when he looked for the mirror in their houses. Who would wish for a kid to lose his soulmate ? Just because the mark wasn't pretty or seemed to indicate a 'lower' soul ?

Someone from outside. Maybe the reason why they didn't like his soulmate from the start. Because it meant their son would find a way outside the Wuju village. Maybe by love for him, to wish him the best. But protection was quick to become unbearable. To deny his soulmate came to deny his mark, to deny his mark came to deny part of him. Oh all this was so difficult, to respect and love his parents yet they couldn't extend that care to his soulmate.

Now Yi knew who was soulmate. Not fully, to a complete point of understanding but he saw the man hidden behind these criticized words he bore all his life. Indeed his parents wouldn't like Yasuo, unless they reached beyond appearances. To check this, they would have to meet but Yi wasn't sure this was going to happen soon. Probably once the war was over and they'd be free to go back home. _If we survive._

In all honesty, Yi doubted him or Yasuo would perish during the war. Unless there was a tragic incident, he would be there to look after his soulmate and vice versa. No one would be able to give a single cut to Yasuo, not before dealing with him first.

Was it strange now, to care so much about a man met in the battlefield ? He had a valid reason and explanation. So he would do his best, for Ionia and for Yasuo.

Why such thoughts again ? Ah yes, his mark. The source of so much troubles yet also small hopes. How many nights did he spend looking in the mirror, struggling to catch a glimpse of these words ? No need to be sorry for him, he was thankful to have someone.

That same person that asked to the mark and fell into a pit of embarrassment behind him. Yi felt it too, for being uncovered in such way but mostly because it meant everything for them. No he wasn't ashamed of his mark, no matter what everyone might say. It was a proof of love. Yet why was he shivering ?

When he looked behind him, it was clear Yasuo regretted his words. Maybe not to a drastic point but he must have felt responsible for what he read there. What so many read there, to go quiet afterward. _It's fine_.

Still, his cheeks burned under that deep blush, one that matched the latter. Really, what a pair they made. Under such vulnerable setting, Yi tried to calm down and rubbed his mark, focusing on the presence close to him. Now he looked in front of him, it was a lot to reveal himself. He didn't know if the fact that Yasuo was his soulmate helped or not.

_Is it enough ? _

Not that he truly minded but being under such attention was draining. Before he could voice his increasing discomfort from the lack of reaction, Yi registered new contact. Warm, over his back. A hand, without a doubt. It was flat over his back, not far from his mark.

Tense, Yi held his breath without knowing it and released it after he realized. Why feel like this ? It was just Yasuo, probably observing the very words he gave him.

Now he felt his other hand, barely brushing his body way lower, close to his spine. Then it moved around his mark too, showing the focus of the instant.

Overall, it was really nice to feel. Yasuo's hands were warm against his skin, a little rough due to sword practice yet careful as he could be. Yi felt his thumb rubbing gently, although it wasn't nearly close to the mark itself. This was the moment he took away his own hand and closed his eyes as to relish contact.

Exhale. It was still strange to be the center of such attention, when it remained on his back. His mark.

Almost lost in what he felt and his thoughts, Yi still heard the latter speak rather quietly :

« I'm sorry, for that one. It wasn't the best thing I ever said. » Controled yet it was obvious Yasuo could have said more about his shame.

« It's alright, I love it anyway. It led me to you. » His truth, that he would never forget.

The purpose of a mark wasn't to be pretty or bold. It was to fulfil its destiny and help two souls to be reunited. And it worked, they had found each other.

Silence answered him. Yi let him do, it was understandable to feel like this. Chances were Yasuo would carry a tad of guilt for some time but it would fade away little by little. Soon they would joke about it, because that was all it was. Light words, that accomplished its only mission.

These thoughts were interrupted suddenly, as Yasuo moved his hands elsewhere. Slowly he came to embrace Yi from behind, arm around his chest. Beyond that new contact, it was something else that caught Yi's attention. New warmth, almost difficult to detect before he came too aware of it.

Lips, over his mark. Light brush, a few pecks given there. Each of them felt like electric shock.

Another shiver ran his spine, from both the light touch and the meaning given to this gesture. Yi's heart raced again, risking to betray him since the latter's palm rested over his chest. Yet he couldn't help but enjoy this moment, as surprised as he was.

Yasuo didn't stop there, holding him close while he kissed his mark, over and over again. So close, he could feel his whole – half clothed – body pressed to him. Soft noises, so faint and lovely to hear. Yi let go, held what he could reach from the latter.

« Thank you... » Ripped from his chest, a little painful as his memories came up. It was something to be loved as soulmate, it gave him great comfort.

To return this feeling, he took Yasuo's hand and left there a peck. All he could manage as gratitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's short and i went a little on angst xD  
little by little we might get a true kiss~


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
small update there! 
> 
> thank you for readiiiiiiiing <3

Lips over the back of his hand, a mere peck yet it made Yasuo more flustered than the latest minutes. It would seem that each new move and gesture between them would get more and more sentimental, at the brink of too much. _No, not too much_. He wanted everything he could get from Yi, no matter how dark he blushed afterward.

It reached such point he couldn’t focus anymore in the shy attention he gave to the latter’s mark. He had wished to make it soft and still careful. A show of dedication to their relationship. Nothing too rushed but given with love everytime. Yet already he was screaming innerly because Yi returned his affection. Small gesture maybe but emotions were found in these details. It meant everything.

How long until he fell in love again ? The first time was so long ago, when he started to love his soulmate for what they were supposed to be, not even aware who they would be. Yi. Now it was time for him to fall in love with the man, beyond the first idea of soulmate. And it had already begun, given how strongly he felt for him after such short time.

Yi’s discreet ways of showing attention, Yi’s gaze when he looked at him, Yi who fell asleep after tending to his wounds. Indeed he was meant to fall again but it was far too sweet to fear that. No reason to be scared.

Since he had lost his focus and peace of mind, Yasuo tightened the embrace on reflex, face hidden behind the latter. There he wouldn’t be found out blushing. _What am I thinking ?_ They were supposed to take this slow. But this was still quite innocent, no ? So why was he at the limit of losing it ?

Emotions and feelings were to blame here. Heart beating too fast and many other clues showed he was already too deep into that. That was it ? A peck over his hand and he was done ? _Come on, Yasuo_.

Easy to say but he didn’t dare to move. It was fine, wasn’t it ? Just two soulmates, hugging quietly in bed, while some people were fighting far away. _Don’t think about it_. His guilt wasn’t nice with him, as long as he had to stay down and rest. After all, he had deserted his duty to fight and right now he wasn’t. And he had his soulmate in his arms, the most peaceful moment one could ask.

Until he got sleepy again. Really, how long would he need to sleep before he could function again ? This was getting on his nerve. Always tired, always. Maybe there was a proper explanation for this, like the fact that he barely slept for many days since he prefered to cut some noxians. It was still bothersome.

He ended up leaning a little too much on Yi, which couldn’t be comfortable for him. So he had to move, at least to give the latter some peace.

« Mmmh am tired. Gonna sleep more, sorry. » It was even in his voice, low need for rest.

Without waiting Yasuo flopped back in bed, while trying to keep as much contact as he could. In such small bed, difficult to ignore each other’s presence so it wasn’t a real matter.

« It’s alright, you need that. Just be careful with your wound, don’t make it worse. » Quick to react, Yi turned in his direction and lied back by his side.

It would seem like they were to sleep together again. Yasuo had no idea how exhausted the latter was but since he came to fall asleep by accident earlier, he hadn’t enough yet. He gladly welcomed Yi closer, to make sure he wouldn’t fall off the bed and to relish touch as he could.

« Will be alright, it doesn’t hurt a lot. Thank you for taking care of me. » Since he heard about it, he might as well thank him. What a sweet feeling, to know someone was looking after him.

Of course Yasuo would stay cautious out there, no prevent more troubles for his soulmate yet the feeling stuck with him. There was someone making sure he was alive and healthy. During his life there weren’t a lot of these people. Most didn’t care, he wouldn’t be a great loss. For Yi, he counted.

« Hold me, please. The strongest you can. » Small whisper in that semblance of space between them.

Their embrace was already more than respectable yet he yearned for more. To be held, in all it meant.

« I would break your bones if I did so I won’t. Although I can still give you this. » Oh he sounded so cute after pointing this out. Not once Yasuo would doubt his words, if he said so.

It still made him shiver just to imagine his strenght. Such large blade, it would require a good training and strenght to be able to yield it perfectly as Yi did. So yes, he imagined and the blush stayed a bit longer.

Thoughts cut short because next second the latter tightened their embrace, probably to the limit he accepted. It was still quite strong and Yasuo enjoyed it. Powerful love indeed. Kept in Yi’s arms and held like this, it would take no time for him to drift away.

« Sleep well love. I’ll try to be there when you wake up. »

He felt safe, right there. At peace.

~

« He’s alright, don’t worry. I’m looking after him. »

« Alright. But aren’t you two hungry ? I can bring you food, if you need. »

« That would be great, please. Though I don’t know when he will wake up. »

« Then I’ll bring some just for you. We will see later if he’s hungry. »

Conversation nearby, that he pieced together despite himself. Little by little Yasuo woke up, taken by these voices. _Mmmh not yet_. It was so nice to be right there, arms around Yi.

_Oh wait. It was him_.

It made sense as he gained awareness. To be that close, the first voice must have been Yi. Now everything was quiet, there wasn’t a single noise in the room. Did he dream that ? Yasuo didn’t know, this strange state of sleep made it difficult to understand.

Yasuo would have rolled on his other side if it was possible but the bed was too small to risk that. Nonetheless, he moved in bed to settle back again, sighing once he found a good spot with Yi in his arms. Who was actually sitting up in bed, now that he realized.

Eyes opened, he checked if he was wrong but no. Yi was sitting there although he remained close enough for him to slung an arm around his waist.

« Yi ? » Barely voiced, a murmur to catch his attention and make sure it was real.

« Oh, hello. My apologies, we probably woke you up. Tell me, are you hungry ? »

As soon the latter focused on him, turning slightly to look at him. Now he realized Yi had put back his top clothing, no longer bare chest. Details, again but Yasuo noted that for later. Maybe he was a bit shy after all.

« Errr I think yes. It’s been a while since last time I ate. Oh fuck I’m starving. » Only once it was brought up his body made it clear he needed to eat. Yasuo had no memories of the last time, maybe something there and there between the fights.

_So it was real_. He really heard Yi and someone else. Maybe someone of the village.

Since they were going to have some food, Yasuo sat up too and immediately regretted it when it pulled a little on his bandaged wound.

« Shit—! »

Like he said, it didn’t hurt unless he forgot about it. One brilliant occasion to make a fool of himself.

« Calm down, don’t be stupid. I know it can be bothering but be careful with your wound. »

There, quick remark. He deserved that one, he wasn’t cautious around his own wounds usually. He would survive anyway.

In return Yasuo leaned to the latter’s shoulder, pouting a little.

« I know… I’ll be careful. »

« Do it for me, please ? I don’t want you to run back into the fights while still wounded. »

Words that turned soft, an equally gentle gesture as he welcomed Yasuo close to him. Everything was a new reason to melt. Enough to choke this spike of emotion and seek further contact.

« I’ll try not to. »

Could he really refuse something to Yi ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik, not so fun for now xD soon i'll make this move more


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!  
sorry it's late, internet just got back -__-
> 
> thanks for reading, ilu <3

« I keep what I asked. I want to know more about you. »

In this otherwise calm moment, Yasuo’s word echoed slightly in the room where they stayed. It was a bit later after their meal, even though they were completely out of a respectable rhythm. Night had fallen a long ago, before they woke up. So out of it, they had nothing to do but take more rest since there was a lot to wait for Yasuo’s recovery. Yi would wait as much as needed, prefering not to put the latter’s life at risk by getting back to the fights too early.

They were back in that same room furnished with several beds although no one went here except them. Maybe there weren’t a lot of fighters coming by this village.

This time, Yasuo didn’t even pretend to take this slow, going directly to lie in Yi’s bed. That was a sign difficult to miss. _I don’t mind_. It was enjoyable to have his soulmate so close.

Careful, he held Yasuo to his body while making sure not to touch the sensitive area. He had seen several times that it hurt him, even though most of these occasions were because the latter forgot for a time. Habits were his enemy for now.

Right then, Yasuo looked at him curiously, mix of determination and anticipation. That one needed to sleep yet he seemed far too awake for this.

_Maybe not the best time to talk_. Would there be one at some point ? Yi doubted it. They could talk now, if really Yasuo wanted to and didn’t risk to fall asleep mid sentence.

« If you’re not too tired, we can talk a bit. »

Yasuo nodded eagerly, clearly he wouldn’t give up on this idea before sleep. It made Yi sigh softly, a little endeared to see someone so stubborn.

« Alright, alright. Ask away, what do you want to know ? »

He would make sure later to ask too, because this curiosity wasn’t one-sided. Both of them had a life before meeting the other, two decades seeking their other half.

It didn’t take long for Yasuo to ask him, obvious attention on him : « Where do you come from ? I guess you’re not from any of the villages near mine but hell, Ionia is huge to explore. »

Indeed good question. It reminded Yi of the distance crossed to join the fights. Noxus had invaded the land on several points but the greatest fights were on the main island, with its highest point at the Placidium of Navori.

« From another island. Bahrl. However it’s not the only reason we haven’t met earlier. Are you from here ? »

Wide gaze from the latter, amazed. To see such interest for knowledge was sweet, Yi wanted to answer as much as he could.

« Damn, you come from far away. Yup, I’m from this island though I walked a lot since I left to fight. »

For all their conversation Yasuo held him dearly. Sometimes he shifted slightly the embrace, carressing a bit but he never broke it. It was fine, a mirror of their quiet talk from one heart to another.

« Hey, you say there was another reason we couldn’t meet ? »

Yi looked away for a time, this wasn’t the easiest topic. How to explain to an outsider how the village worked ? Also, it reminded him of all this time his people tried to convince him to give up on his soulmate. Not supposed to leave the village, etc. He was going to earn such horrible punishment at his return.

« Our village is hidden in the mountains. No one can leave it, this is one of the main rules. We live and die there. »

Now the mood had taken a serious hit, Yi wasn’t sure this was a good idea. Anyway, Yasuo wanted to know more about him and this was part of his life.

Gazing back at the latter, he found there a puzzled expression.

« But you’re here. Something bad happened ? Noxus ? » Yasuo tried to make some sense out of this but it seemed difficult without the facts.

« Not the way you think. Noxus attacked Bahrl too but not our village because it’s too difficult to find. If I’m here, it’s because I broke the rule and left to fight. My people refused to put the village at risk in this war, Ionia isn’t of their concerns. »

Small silence received his answer. It was still strange for Yi to ‘tell his story’, even to another fellow warrior. Everyone had a story to tell, his wasn’t so special but it still explained part of him. He would skip some part on purpose, Yasuo had no need to know a few things. Like his parents’s opinion on his soulmate. Although Yi could guess he wouldn’t feel insulted too much, just annoyed for a time. But the topic remained personal.

« I did the same. » A bit sudden, breaking silence.

« What ? »

« I’m elder Souma’s bodyguard so I’m supposed to stay in town to protect him. But I wanted to fight so errrrrr I kinda deserted my duty. Just for the time of the war, I swear ! I’ll go back once it’s over. »

_Oh_. Indeed they made the same choice. His situation may differ from Yasuo’s but in the end he chose to fight instead of staying back. It seemed that all was made for the best, they shared the same goal and determination.

« You don’t have to justify yourself, you did what you thought best. Even though I think you’re too zealous, be careful out there. »

« Thanks. I know they gonna screw me so much once I come back. It’s funny, you didn’t seem the type to go against rules. Discipline, all that stuff. » Yasuo chuckled in their embrace, visibly unbothered by the previously serious mood.

« Rules are there for a reason. Yet you’re not wrong, I still regret going against the village’s will. You’re not the only one who’ll be screwed back home. »

« Between that and Noxus, I don’t know what I prefer. »

As quick he closed distance – as if they weren’t already – to snuggle against Yi. Soft urge indeed. He let Yasuo do as he wished, it wasn’t bothering. _Maybe he’s sleepy_.

« Indeed. Yasuo, you can sleep if really you need to. Don’t hurt yourself by staying awake. »

« Nah, I want to talk a bit more. Please. » Yes he wanted this but he wasn’t as loud as before, probably getting on sleepy time already.

« Alright, as you wish. What do you want to know ? »

It wouldn’t last long, Yi could tell. He was still tired even after all they got for rest and lying in bed wasn’t making it easier.

« Do you got any brother or sister ? Am just curious. »

Oh that small smile, really really cute to see. Exactly the kind of thing that made Yi more comfortable in this future relationship.

« I don’t. My parents only had a son, me. »

« Oh…Sorry. » Half drowsy, half sad.

Yi could tell the latter was genuinely sorry for him, even if there was no need for this.

« It’s alright, there are others of my age in the village. Is it safe to guess you have siblings ? »

It made sense to see such joy from Yasuo as he asked about it, even muffled by his state. Almost a question he wished to be asked. It made Yi smile in return, glad for this lighter mood and the sleepy embrace.

« Yes…Yone, big bro. I think you’ll like him. They always told me to be more like him, serious, quiet. »

To hear such affection for family was nice. Yi was so touched to imagine the possibility, after the war. Maybe to meet Yasuo’s family indeed. Such faith in a good future was sweet, he wanted to believe it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we getting somewhere, folks!! slowly but surely!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
beware, soon i won't be able to update that often T__T
> 
> thank you for reading!!

Last memory before drifting away, Yi’s arms around him and his name said softly. Yasuo felt quite peaceful, even though he would have loved to talk more. Sadly, his body still needed rest.

Here came darkness, catching him gently.

Only this time it clung to him harshly, like an animal to its prey. Jolting awake, Yasuo gasped aloud, breath slightly shorter.

_What ?_

It wasn’t really a nightmare. Even as unpleasant as it felt, he couldn’t remember what happened. All that remained was a faint memory, something bitter that made him shiver. It wasn’t important. The worst were remembered nightmares, so painful he could feel its claws even after the waking.

Already fear subsided, leaving him more aware of his surroundings. Enough to register the lack of contact.

_Wait. Where is he ?_

His sleep schedule was already such a mess because of what his wound and exhaustion required, plus the time out doing nothing. Yasuo had no idea what time it was. And now Yi was missing.

Fumbling in bed, he looked for the latter but indeed, since he didn’t feel him immediately against him then he was gone. What a good news to wake up to. Already Yasuo didn’t feel so well, maybe it was just his brain fucking with him. Sitting up, he looked around and found nothing worth his interest.

It was intriguing though because he could tell Yi wasn’t far. Not exactly like pure information but more like instinct. It pushed him to go a certain way and he felt certain to find him if he followed. _It’s strange_. There was no explanation for this.

Now that he was up and sure not to fall asleep so soon, he made a short check-up. _I’m fine_. This was overall how he felt, even if he knew he couldn’t trust that. Carefully trailing his hand over the bandage, it didn’t hurt that much. _Ok, good_.

Yet he was sure they wouldn’t let him to back to fight right now. At least not before his wound scarred properly. This wasn’t going to be fun for him, sitting there to idle while Noxus had a bloodbath.

_Soon, soon_.

For now he just wanted to find Yi and resume contact. Funny, wasn’t it, to grow clingy only after meeting his soulmate. He was barely able to stay calm so far from the other, feeling a sort of hitch to make disappear. As if his very soul ached to be again with the latter.

Getting out of bed, Yasuo found his scarf nearby. Clean. _Oh_. That was a nice attention. No idea who did it, maybe Yi among everyone else. He felt already better to put it back on, soft fabric against skin. _Nice…_

All good but not enough to distract him from his mission, finding Yi. A bit like a dead person, he made his way out of that small house offered as place to sleep for fighters.

This village was a bit special to explore, different from the place he grew up but he still found the latter. That instinct was good, leading him to Yi in a few minutes of curious wandering.

Just as he arrived in a rather open place, Yi looked back at him immediately. As if he knew he was coming. Yasuo’s heart still made something funny the second he saw his soulmate.

Within seconds he closed distance and reached for the latter, arms laced around him in both a protective and demanding manner. Short sigh of relief.

_Good…_

Then he noticed the other person in the room too, not far. Probably Yi was talking with her before he arrived. Yasuo looked at her, curious, chin resting on Yi’s shoulder as he embraced him from behind.

« Sorry, am I interrupting something ? Go on, I’m not here. »

Still, everyone stayed quiet after that, looking at Yasuo with surprise. Yi couldn’t efficiently look at him, however he still returned the embrace and brushed Yasuo’s cheek gently.

« Too late, we know you’re here. Aren’t you tired ? » Always so kind with him, it was incredible. It could get Yasuo blushing once more but at that point, no need to count.

« Nah I’m fine. Got a sort of nightmare then you were gone. And you ? »

It was peculiar to be right there, possessive embrace around his soulmate while there was someone he didn’t know there. The woman was sitting not far, taking care of a bow in what was surely a quiet conversation.

How was he supposed to act with his soulmate ? Like, was it obvious or not ? Did people mind ? They might all die in a few days or a year, he could enjoy to hold Yi while he could. Though Yasuo held back his affection, not wanting to make a show of that to strangers.

_I want to kiss, though_. It would have to wait. Then he remembered they didn’t even reach that point and innerly he sobbed. Oh to wait was terrible, even more when it was his own decision.

His longing was cut by Yi’s answer, resuming contact as he could in the position he was : « I’m feeling better. I’ll be able to join the fights soon. »

_Oh…_ He felt it so hard, the unsaid. Yi had recovered but him not, he would still have to stay here. Yasuo didn’t like that thought and pushed it away, as long as the latter stayed with him here.

« Ok ok. What were you two talking about ? »

« Noxus. » The woman spoke up, firm tone as her attention remained on her weapon.

_Alright_. Yasuo wouldn’t have asked more, no doubt he bothered them enough for the day when he barged there.

Although Yi added more, explaining the situation.

« She had scouted the area around the village. For now noxians are heading in another direction but it’s important to keep track of their moves. Several warriors of the village are ready to fight if needed. »

« Oh. I see. Gonna get ready then. Where did you put my blade ? »

« No, you still need to rest. We don’t even know if Noxus will come around, the risk isn’t really important. »

« But I can fight ! » Shifting from their embrace, Yasuo looked at the latter, hoping to make this very clear. « I know, I was wounded but I can still fight. You can’t keep me there doing nothing but sleeping while everyone is out there. »

It wasn’t his intention to have this sort of argument while someone listened but he couldn’t helpt that. Yasuo felt this to be too unfair to him, he had a mission in this war and intended to finish it. Yet Yi wanted him to stay here and recover.

« I can’t force you to stay, I know. I’m not forbidding you to fight this war, I’m just asking you to stay down until your wound has healed. »

Discipline again in that tone, determination to have him stay here indeed. Yi could be as stubborn as him and he just started to realize that.

« I can stand and fight. It will finish healing during the fights. »

« Or you will join the many corpses bleeding in the valley. I already found you down once, I refuse to risk it so soon. »

Harsh words but not as violent then meeting Yi’s gaze, a lot of repressed emotion to be read there. It was new, wasn’t it ? To be cared to such point. To know his life had a value beyond his use in the war.

_« precious »_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye aye let's have some feels


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
ok so first, sorry for the pause, uni started again and its horaries are hell XD  
second, i wasn't supposed to be able to write yesterday but i did, since internet cut  
third, it didn't allow me to post, i had to sleep at midnigt so here is the night update!!
> 
> thanks for reading! <3

_Safety first_.

At that time, many things plagued Yi’s thoughts, just as many fears lurking around. Noxus was a big threat to anyone here and even if this village was rather safe, out of reach, they had to remain cautious. This nation thirsty for blood could get really inspired when it meant bringing death in these lands.

From this constant presence nearby came also worry. Yi always worried for everyone, fellow ionians met or not. However there was one person he felt most concerned about.

_Yasuo_.

Not once he doubted his skill and strenghts, this was obvious and he had seen it at work before. Yet he feared constantly that he would find death too soon. He was his soulmate, it was part of his duty and own selfishness that he seeked to keep him alive and healthy. To see him fall in the battlefield became an unbearable thought.

_He’s a danger to himself_. So good he could play around the limits and search the closest fights. For honor. This meant equal risk – an early meeting with death that he didn’t seem to care about. Difficult to witness for Yi but he would do, resolutely staying not far to keep an eye on this madman.

The fact that made everything difficult was Yasuo’s wound. It wasn’t worth the fuss, both knew it, merely a cut a bit too deep that asked to be bandaged and cleaned. Nothing tragic. Then why worry that much ?

Yi refused to let him risk his life even more than before. At full health he wouldn’t be too worried, Yasuo was really able to defend himself. But a wound could make a difference. Even in itself it showed that he wasn’t invincible, he could fail sometimes – though it remained extremely rare. He hated to know that, to remember when he found him down against a tree.

_He could have died_. If no ally had found him, there would be so little chance to survive in this wilderness. At first Yi was very glad to have this instinct to look after one idiot that went missing but by now he took the full impact of the soulmate link. He could have lost him, before they could even mutually recognize each other. The seizing horror of feeling his mark disappearing made him sick, as if he experienced it.

It could still happen. It only took one well aimed hit, one second of inattention, one rush of overconfidence then it was too late. Yi knew he was already falling hard for him and it meant carrying his share of worry. Nothing worse than losing a soulmate, no matter how soon or late.

_Never_.

So if he had to physically stop Yasuo from running into the fights before his wound was fully healed, he would do it. Without questions.

It was so hard because he knew this was unfair for the latter. When emotions got too strong sometimes, he would feel some from Yasuo. Now it meant serious anger, for being denied to serve his purpose. But one had more purpose than simply dying in this war, Yi would do his best to remind him.

Unfair for both of them. Yasuo felt like stuck and useless and Yi felt like his own parents, forbidding him to fight so soon. Still, he wouldn’t falter, determined to have his soulmate fully rested and recovered.

Their argument didn’t go further. After that, Yasuo remained terribly silent, gaze leaving nothing to hide in what he felt and thought. Yi made himself clear on his intentions and yet it hurt to actually feel an echo from the latter, almost pain.

The embrace went loose then he truly left just as he had arrived here. It looked a bit like a scolded kid, leaving to sulk. However Yi was aware it wasn’t childish motivations here, it was a valid reason. Yasuo wanted to join the fights, it was more than legitimate and honorable. To hold him back wasn’t his intention but a way to prevent worse things to happen.

Warmth was missed as quick. Well, he couldn’t be mad about it. This wasn’t the right time for quiet affection, not after such argument. Yi still missed it, to hold and be held.

_It will be alright. I hope_. There was the possibility that Yasuo would try to ‘escape’ and run to the fights but it was so thin, almost impossible. _I don’t think so_. Because he wasn’t stupid, he knew Yi wound follow him and take him back to the village or whatever happened. No way to run from the issue.

After lingering over the empty spot left, Yi looked back at the other warrior. She was looking in the direction Yasuo left, silent judgement over her face.

« I apologize, for this. I wasn’t our intention to bring this up in your presence. »

She simply shrugged, back on what she previously did.

« No problem. Just, I guess it’s not easy. I wouldn’t let that one go out and kill himself in the fights but I get it when he says he wants to fight. »

Nothing could stop that sigh, looking away : « I think I understand him too. We’re all risking our lives in this war yet I can’t let him go, as small as his wound is. »

« Waiting a bit more won’t kill him, for sure. » She paused, deep in thoughts. After maybe a good minute she spoke again, this time seeking his gaze : « How do you two know each other ? He speaks more like someone from the island but not you. »

_Hmm ?_

For this Yi was genuinely surprised. He didn’t expect that topic, seemingly out of curiosity. He could feel this was meant to lead to another topic, future fluster to start.

« I found him in the battlefields, not so long ago. Indeed I’m from another region. »

It was coming, he knew it. This kind of question wasn’t without interest or explanation.

« During the fights, huh ? I see why you’re so worried. You two seem close, though. »

Of course, given the way Yasuo came and stayed – literally – close to him, it was difficult to deny a link between them.

« He’s my soulmate. We just found each other. »

Better say the truth first. No one would be fooled anyway. During the times they were out and sleeping like the dead in the same bed, no doubt at least one person came to check on them and found them like this.

A stunned silence followed, with a similar expression for the latter. Not baffled but surely she didn’t expect that much.

« Alright then I guess it makes sense. » Deep laugh, for a short time. « Maybe not the best time to find your second half but it shows there is still some happiness to find these days. »

The aftershock came, violently. It was peculiar to tell someone else about this, even though there was no reason. It was still a bit personal to them.

« Thank you. I’m glad to have him here. I hope you understand my opinion on his need to joins the fights soon. »

« Of course. But I’m sure nothing bad will happen to him. You’ll have each other’s back. »

« I can’t protect him from himself. »

It still weighed over his heart, the risk of losing Yasuo. He couldn’t give in now. The need to protect him was strong, as much as he could.

« You can’t but you can do your best. It’s also on him to understand and think about his choices. »

Again the same debate. The only solution was to wait, it would give as much time for Yasuo to recover. Yi hoped he would accept it, at least for a few more days. In exchange, he was ready to stay a little more, even though he was already able to fight.

~

Later Yi decided to return and see where Yasuo was. He could tell he wasn’t really far, somewhere in the village. Great relief. _Good_.

Before anything he wanted to check on him, see if he wasn’t too mad at him. He would be completely legitimate in feeling so, Yi merely wanted to see how it was and maybe soothe what he could. Innerly he still craved contact.

_Is this alright ?_

No idea if Yasuo would ask him to stay away for a time or not. In any case he braced himself for the worst. There was probably no need to worry like this but Yi had to keep any possibility in mind.

Following this faint reflex, it led him back to the place they slept. _Fine, he’s still here_.

Since the room was quite dim, he supposed the latter was back to sleep. It would be for the best, really. His body could peacefully heal during that time, without risk of tiny mistakes.

Quiet steps in here, until he saw indeed Yasuo in bed, facing the opposite direction.

« Yasuo ? » So low whisper, to be sure not to wake him up if he was asleep.

Though soon enough Yi heard an answer, quiet mumbling : « Mmh yeah ? » Small move in reaction, as to find the source of that noise.

_Oh. I hope he was already awake_.

On reflex he went to the bed and sat on the floor so he could be on Yasuo’s level. Without any chance to hold back, Yi reached for him gently, only to find some sweet contact.

Difficult to forget that anger and worry, many emotions felt recently. Yet all of it was born from love, care for each other. It couldn’t be ignored.

Careful gesture over his soulmate, as if it would burn him in case this wasn’t welcome.

There he found Yasuo looking back at him. The lack of light in here didn’t make it easy but he could still see his expression. Not necessarily angry or sad. Just tired, ‘muted’.

« Hey. I won’t bother you for too long. » He couldn’t help but let that tone soft. Not matter how angry he was to force him into recovery, how scared to lose him, he couldn’t hold this back. « I…I still long to hold you close. »

How could one be so selfish to ask so much and give so little ? He didn’t like a bit of this. First to ask him to stay here against his wish then to ask for the slightest comfort he could get.

That hand so scared to fully commit was taken by Yasuo, nuzzling his palm quietly. This was all that was needed. Acceptance. Innerly Yi’s heart ached, from both joy and sadness.

« It’s fine. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want so much to type next updates, it's crazy


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
let's go!!
> 
> thanks for reading <3

_He’s back_.

Despite the whole argument and his own anger, Yasuo was still glad to have him here. That small confession went through his heart, something so sweet and desperate that he was tempted to forget and comply. But he couldn’t.

It was still here, at the back of his mind and impossible to ignore. Unfairness. A bit bitter, it had urged him to leave and stay alone. Away from Yi.

Their link made it impossible to avoid and deeply, Yasuo always yearned any kind of contact. Although right now pettiness whispered to change side and turn his back to the latter. Fair indeed, after what he refused to him. It would hurt a little, just like Yi was doing to him by making him stay at the village.

Affection and reason stopped him from doing that. He wasn’t able to stay too mad at the latter because there were valid reasons behind his decision. Yi wanted the best for him, for his health. It was logical to have him stay till he recovered.

This was why Yasuo couldn’t push him away – the motivation wasn’t even there – keeping the latter’s hand against his cheek for the small comfort found. The war was unfair to both of them and sometimes decisions weren’t the easiest to take and respect.

Yet it hurt so much to stay idle and do nothing. It hurt even more to remember Yi’s words, how much he cared about it. Pain in a good way. Some people would rather see him dead. Maybe the war was just an occasion to risk it, repay the wrong done.

Mixed between lingering bitterness and overwhelming affection, Yasuo said nothing. Just held the latter as he could and stood this gaze going emotional by the second. Before finding his soulmate, he was sure no one would miss him except his family. Now there was a new person, truly able to keep him alive in this hell. That person leaving desperation to show in his gaze, just before he leaned against Yasuo, sort of hidding and hugging.

Oh to be loved. What a blessing. That love that clung to him just like Yi, light tremor impossible to miss.

« I’m sorry… » Muffled by their position yet too telling on the latter’s mood.

_No…_ This was why he couldn’t come to be mad at Yi. He was doing his best and for now their ‘missions’ were in conflict, between his urgence to fight and the latter’s worry. It was difficult, there was no perfect solution.

Beyond the apologies, it was the rush of emotion that struck Yasuo. Not his, he was certain but Yi’s. So strange to explain but he felt it in return, a sort of echo.

Frozen there, he didn’t dare to move or even make a gesture. It was too much. Yi held him with a certain strenght, as to match the powerful feelings seizing him.

Before he could even hope to calm this, the latter resumed : « I know you’re angry and you’re legitimate to feel so, especially against me. Just, I can’t lose you. Not so soon, never. »

Almost small, shy in the way it was said. At the limit of breaking. Yasuo stayed there, emotion tying his voice too. Yes, he was angry but not to the point of holding it against Yi.

Unable to speak, he let him say all that he had over his heart.

« You’re too precious to me. I know how selfish it is to keep you here, away from harm. But I need you to accept, stay here until you’re back to health. Do it for me, please… »

_ Selfish… _

Imagine, to be called a mistake, to be hated by everyone. Only to find someone thinking he was precious. That his life was worth it, worth pushing to selfishness for wanting him alive. Worth beyond his purpose.

It nearly killed his anger. Nearly, because he wouldn’t stop feeling the injustice but it didn’t mean he wasn’t close to tears because of rare words. Yasuo smothered the rush of emotion, just so it wouldn’t become too strong. A sob still broke out.

He heard it, the low gasp from the latter as reaction. It burned a bit under his skin, the faintest shame that had no reason here. To give a distraction, he held Yi back and gave as much of his strenghts as he could.

Try to be mad, after that. Impossible. _He’s killing me…_

They hugged, rocking a bit as to ride the feelings out. Good thing there wasn’t a lot of light in there or Yi would have noticed how close to crying he was.

Finally, when his voice seemed to work without any risk to betray his emotions, he spoke : « I will stay. For you. »

« Thank you. I will join the fights tomorrow. »

It hurt to hear but at least it was clear. When he replied, Yasuo’s voice threatened to break : « I know. Just be careful out there, you’re precious too. » Then a hard peck given to the latter’s cheek, as to show his determination for his words.

Hand burried in Yi’s hair, he held him close. All the contact he could find, as much for his own craving than for the latter. Restless.

« Just a few days. Then you will be free to join me and fight. Three days, three days… » Whispered in their embrace, soothing the hurt inflicted.

Three days, it wasn’t so terrible. But he would be alone here, doing nothing. Just to imagine, Yasuo knew he would hate it deeply. Both because Yi wouldn’t be there and because he would be useless. No other choice.

Silence settled after that, except a few hushed words to both soothe and love. Though the position wasn’t the best. Yi was still sitting on the floor.

To change this, Yasuo pulled him to join him in bed.

« Come here. Please. » Too soft but could he help it ? The mood remained the same, careful embrace and lingering affection.

Without further request the latter complied and moved to bed, quick to lock again their embrace. Contact was appreciated to its fullest, limbs tangled and no space between them.

Now they could look at each other. Yasuo noticed that same expression from his soulmate, still marked by sadness even though care was taking over. Hands reached for his face, gentle carresses.

« Yasuo, there is something I want to ask you. »

It sounded serious, making him react accordingly : « Yes ? »

Small move nearby, Yi fumbling with something. Then he brought something to Yasuo’s sight. It was rather dim in there, but he was sure to know what he showed him. The piece of scarf cut before, the one used as bandage before they could take care of his wound. _Oh…_

« Can I keep it ? »

New wave of feelings shook him, this one a lot more happy and innocent. Yasuo didn’t know he could get sentimental like this just over a piece of his scarf but why not ?

« Take it. » Nothing more or Yi would suspect something. Really, that day got too many emotions at once.

« Thank you. I know it’s a bit silly but I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. Anyway, there is still blood, no matter how much I washed it. » Thoughtful on the end, eyes on this soft fabric a bit torn. Surely it had known better days.

« It’s…I could make you a better gift. You deserve better than that. »

Yet Yasuo was sure he would get too emotional again. It was really really cute and overwhelming to see such attachment to mere objects. Yes, this was a part of his scarf, one that he held dear particularly. No idea if Yi did it on purpose but to see him wanting to keep a part of such personal clothe, it held meaning. A souvenir.

« It’s from you, I like it much. I wish I had something to give in return. »

How sweet to hear. Yasuo would love it indeed, to have a token, something to remind him of his soulmate. Till then, he would wait.

« You’re my gift. Don’t worry. »

A kiss to Yi’s cheek was the proof of his affection, lingering shortly. Always so tempting to truly kiss but it wasn’t time yet. _I want…_ This would be an incredible gift too. _Not yet, not yet_.

In return to such profuse affection, the latter rose slightly and mirrored the attention given. Several pecks left over Yasuo’s face, most landing on his cheeks. It was so good to be right there, loved equally.

« Oh you’re really making it difficult. How am I supposed to leave you behind when you’re so cute ? »

« Can’t say I’m sorry, I’d die to go with you. » Truthful, even if the topic could slip and go back to sadness and reluctance.

Yi went silent, his gaze saying long about his thoughts. A last peck to Yasuo’s forehead then he retuned to cuddle quietly.

« Soon, I swear. »

~

Later that day, Yasuo learned about what time it was because otherwise he was completely lost. After some time napping together – or rather him napping peacefully while Yi held him close – the afternoon ended and soon it was time to eat. This was mainly because at some point the same kid barged into the room calling for dinner time.

Nothing could put Yasuo in a better mood, sadly. It took some time for Yi to calm him down from going after the boy. No need to scare that one and any way, he didn’t seem fazed by this pissed off swordman complaining about privacy and sleep time.

Otherwise, it went well. After a good meal, he and Yi spent some time in the village, keeping up with the other warriors present. Staying alert to any noxian move was important. Yasuo may not be able to join the fights so soon, he could still pay attention to what happened in the area.

This till Yi gently led him back to ‘their’ room for him to get more sleep. Priorities, again. He didn’t groan about too much, he knew the latter was right.

After literally tucking him to sleep, Yi left to talk more with the villagers. Not without a good time together to hug happily. After that, Yasuo was left alone and he sure felt like a kid again. Very well, he would do as asked and try to find sleep.

However, it didn’t work. After maybe a good hour lying in bed and struggling to find sleep, he was as close than at the beginning. Nothing to do. But his body still needed rest, he didn’t understand. Lacking solutions, he just followed his instinct, which was finding Yi again at least to relax a little while he was at the village.

Oh the latter wasn’t really happy to see him up at that time when he was supposed to rest. So he explained lowly his troubles and Yi’s stance softened, before going with him to bed.

This time it didn’t take too long. Probably it was because his body could only fully relax once he was with his soulmate. Not very practical in some situations but for now it worked. Yi stayed with him in bed and went to sleep too.

Late affection exchanged, in the silence of the night.

Next time Yasuo woke up, the sun was high in the sky and Yi was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so! i couldn't post this night cuz internet died again plus i had to get up FAR TOO EARLY  
this update is hella long because i was hyped!! (and i got bored preparing a presentation sunday)
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_I’m sorry._

The decision hadn’t been easy to take. Yasuo already knew he was supposed to leave for the battlefield that day, they talked about it last night. In the way he imagined it, Yi thought he would leave by noon, after a long goodbye to his soulmate. Except the latter slept without interruption and right then, he was still out.

Afternoon going slowly, Yi was so torn by this decision. All this time he hoped without question that Yasuo would be up. No way for him to wake him up now, not since he needed that rest.

So it left him in bed, too aware of time fleeing yet refusing to let go of the latter. What a horrible feeling, to leave him behind while knowing Yasuo hated this as much. Separation was meant to hurt, as short as it would be.

_Courage_.

With regrets Yi got out of their embrace. Really, it ripped his heart in half to feel Yasuo clinging to him in his sleep, never letting go. _Please, don’t…_ Cautious, he still managed to get out and stand by the bed. How sad to see the latter holding nothing, faint gestures looking for someone missing.

The mission remained the same, he had to go. The war never stopped. Before taking his armor, he sat down for a time he wished short but couldn’t respect anyway. With infinite care Yi leaned and gave a light peck to the latter’s cheek. So chaste and light, for he couldn’t risk to wake him now.

An violent urge took him, begging to kiss him properly. That first kiss he craved with all his soul, it never left him at peace. _He’s asleep, I can’t._

Reluctantly he stood up and tried as much as he could to ignore the sleepy presence of his soulmate. It was so difficult and it wasn’t even the worst time. For now he was still at the village. But he knew that soon enough he would be alone again, running in the valley after a trail of blood. Far from Yasuo. _Don’t think about it_.

Taking care not to make too much noise, he found his armor and put in on in another room. Duty called, no matter how heavy it grew over his heart.

Once he was ready, he took that piece of scarf and tied it around his wrist. Just tight enough not to lose it. _No_. Then armor and it was time to look for his blade. It wasn’t far, he kept it close with Yasuo’s. If for a time he considered giving the latter’s blade to one of the villagers, in case he had some spontaneous ideas, Yi thought again that it wouldn’t help. He trusted Yasuo, he would stay here, even if it was only for his own good.

_It will be fine_.

With new determination, Yi went outside, ready to face the cruelty of war and separation.

~

_Where is he ? Where is he ??_

Awake in a jolt, Yasuo looked around, reality already heavy on him. Alone. Unlike any other time when he woke up in this same situation, he could tell something was wrong.

Yi was gone.

Not in the village, that seemed clear. He had no idea how that could happen but he knew his soulmate was gone, too far to be sensed. Impossible to explain, this was purely instinct. This link, thrumming with life since they had found each other, now it felt like a thin thread likely to break.

_No… _

Disbelieving, Yasuo got out of bed and looked around. Yi’s armor and blade were gone too. This detail hurt a little more.

On reflex he went outside, following what his instinct indicated as direction. Running in the village till indeed it led him to the gates.

Why was he freaking out like this ? He knew it was coming, Yi said so lastest night. _He’s gone_. Sadness welled up, overwhelming him. Anger was there too, a spike of this unfair act. He thought he would still see him before he left. _Obviously not_. There, bitterness bit back.

The first urge was to go after him. His soul and body ached for it, just his reason kept him from that. Reluctant as ever, he returned to the bed they shared for a few nights. No care about the few villagers that saw him run like an idiot till the gates, it wasn’t their business.

_Yi…_ Impossible to suppress everything he felt right now, new rush of anger. It was even worse because he was aware it wasn’t fair for the latter, he surely didn’t want to fight this war like everyone else. Duty hurt. Love hurt too, forcing him to stay behind.

Maybe Yasuo would have been less angry if he had seen his soulmate this day. Maybe. At least to say goodbye and hold him tight. Possibly the best time to get his kiss, under such wreck of emotions.

Now his mind could just focus on Yi’s absence and solitude.

_Three days, don’t forget_. But how was he supposed to wait here ? Already separation was felt, ache that threatened to increase with time.

So much fury to contain and nothing to calm him. Remember how unfair it was, to stay back while everyone was fighting. His gaze fell on his blade, reminding him of his purpose. Never it had been so tempting to stop caring and go.

_Yi will be mad if I go too soon_. To disappoint him was a big no, he didn’t wish to disobbey like this. Aware that he was about to make a big mistake, Yasuo kept himself in that room and waited for this rush to leave.

~

Sadly, he didn’t last long. Solitude was really difficult now that he had met his soulmate. Being so far from each other was new and he wondered how he was going to survive later, if something was to happen.

Instead of soothing the burn of being left behind, time only fueled his need to leave. To find Yi, to fight by his side. His soulmate was out there, risking his life while himself was asked to stay back.

Several times he stood and went to take his blade, considering his options. It was simple, wasn’t it ? Just to stay at the village and wait. On the other hand, he couldn’t stop feeling so much. A lonely heart could be pushed to such decisions. Yasuo knew it wasn’t rational to just run away and seek deadly fights when wounded. But he wasn’t even injured to that point.

_He’s wrong. I can fight_.

When night fell, it kept him awake. How was he supposed to rest and recover when his thoughts were so loud ? This was useless. It would be better for everyone if he was fighting.

Anger burned low against Yi, in the limits one’s respect and love could give. No matter the reasons behind and obvious care, he still forced him to stay while his wound wasn’t so serious. Maybe too protective.

Hours going like nothing, held back by his words and pushed by his honor. What a dilemma.

In the end, he decided to leave. Disobbeying wasn’t a matter, he already deserted once. The night was almost over, the first signs of dawn and maybe the occasion he needed. Would someone try to stop him ?

Armor on, Yasuo made quick work of that and resolutely took his blade. He could still step back and return to sleep like he was expected to. Part of him was deeply annoyed to disappoint Yi. The other part was still furious to be left behind without a word.

Determined, he made his way through the silent village. Only near the gates he saw a few people. Among them there was the archer he saw before, the one who was talking with Yi.

Of course they saw him too. Not a word said, surely they weren’t even aware that he wasn’t supposed to go.

_I don’t care_.

Yasuo stepped outside the village without a look behind.

« Good luck out there and be careful. » It was her, last call to a man obviously dedicated to the cause.

He didn’t reply, just gazed back for a time then left. As simple as that.

Maybe too easy. However this was indeed the first step. The worst had yet to come, once he found Yi. For this, Yasuo doubted he was ready.

~

_I can’t believe it._

All this time Yi had some faith in his soulmate but now he didn’t know what to do. The day wasn’t up yet, it was still quite dark out there, even without the smoke typical from Noxus passage.

He felt it. Distance was reduced, little by little. For all the time since he left the village he felt their link stretch more and more, so thin. And now it was closing.

_Yasuo…_

That could be just him, leaving the village. No doubt on that. To feel an actual change like this, it indicated a move.

Separation was so terrible, even the slightest change felt like a blessing. Like breathing again. Yet this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

_He said he would stay_.

In that quiet time between the fights, Yi was left fuming over this. All this argument to at least appease his worry and now it was useless. As time went he felt Yasuo coming closer, although still quite far. The village wasn’t exactly close to the fights, since Noxus took another direction.

Beyond anger, it hurt. Not for this choice of going against his request – there were reasons for this and the most valid ones – but for the risk taken. Yasuo wasn’t completely back to full health, it was foolish to go so soon.

Oh he was sure that this idiot was going after him. Silently, Yi was lost between anger, worry and the soft relief of seeing his soulmate. It was so paradoxical, to care so much for someone yet to still find some joy to find him again, knowing the risk taken.

The day he left, he hated it with all his heart and now everything showed Yasuo was on his way to find him. Again it forced him to face reality, the fact that he couldn’t protect him forever. Yasuo wanted to fight and it was selfish to keep him from it.

Yi pushed everything aside, it didn’t help. He hoped he could act like an adult and stay calm but he couldn’t. Too many emotions at once.

Soon he couldn’t take it anymore. There was nothing to do at that time except cursing innerly for the latter’s decision to fight. What was the point anyway ? Yasuo would arrive soon, no way to convince him otherwise.

So Yi reduced distance too, quick steps in the valley as he followed this damned instinct. What was the point ? He still needed Yasuo, his heart raced at the mere idea of finding him again. One by one, step by step, the link got stronger.

_Come here, idiot_. He completely deserved that one. To – reluctantly – promise to stay then run away at the first occasion, of course Yasuo was going to explain himself. Yi focused on that instead, or his worry and protective instinct would drive him mad. No matter how small the wound, it reminded him of the constant risk.

The sun was almost up, peeking behind the hills. Distance wasn’t that big anyway, soon they would run into each other.

It happened rather fast. Looking far away, he saw him. Right in his direction, at the limit of running.

_Yasuo… _

Oh that spike of feelings, all of sudden. Yi didn’t want it, he couldn’t forget how worried he was for the latter and angry about his decision. But to see him again, everything felt better. Why did it feel this way ? Almost physical, like an ache gone for good.

Determined to give him an earful, he smothered all the rest. Once it was done he would indulge a bit but till then, discipline was required.

Soon he was able to see Yasuo better. Neither stopped, making a bee line till at last they faced each other.

_There he is_.

Not a single word said. Not one. That was it, they were reunited after less than a full day apart. They stood there, in the middle of nowhere, only grass till the horizon.

Yasuo’s expression was full of anger, very serious. That was a low blow but Yi deserved it too. To wake up alone must have been as horrible as having to leave him behind. Dear Yasuo, not even hidding his emotions as it boiled to the surface.

Strictly honest, Yi could say he regretted that decision. He wished he could have said goodbye. Then he remembered that all this was for the latter’s health. Not for nothing.

Words didn’t come. Anger stayed there, silent. At the same time, to simply stand not far from his soulmate was enough to feel happy. Concealed fast, it wasn’t the time for this.

Then a move was made. Yasuo stepped closer, making him shortly fear for any attempt at violence. This wasn’t supposed to happen but instinct made Yi stand his gaze, ready for anything.

Just the time to see the latter lean slightly and press his mouth to his. Just the time to register that hand behind his head, coaxing him further into this. Just the time to feel Yasuo open up and claim him in ever possible sense. _Oh. Oh…_

It was hard and angry, a kiss that demanded so much yet took so little. Within seconds, it was over. A gasp escaped Yi, for the suddenness of such move. Something himself had been craving to take and seek.

Time seemed to freeze. Yasuo’s hands stayed on him, completely held and trapped. And that stare, still hinted by anger but turning to something else gradually. Almost relief, joy.

In reaction, Yi pulled him back into another kiss, this time taking the initiative and lead. Swallowing any words that might have slipped, pushing back for all the worry he carried since they met. It was eagerly welcomed, the sweetest of reciprocation. Anger was gone, for now, leaving instead the pure relief of holding each other.

Not once it felt like enough. Restless hands over Yasuo, never settling for too long. Moving into the kiss, until they needed to breathe again. When it was time, they just gazed at each other while fighting for breath. The gentle flush from passion colored their cheeks.

_At last…_

For a time it felt like he had forgotten the reason of all this. Was he angry before ? It seemed a foreign memory. It was alright now, Yasuo was in his arms, so alive.

Then it kicked back and he could barely contain that surge of annoyance and anger against his soulmate.

« You foolish man. I thought you would have at least the sense to stay but no. I’m very very disappointed. » Emphasis on the ‘very’, because he did feel terribly upset by this choice. Though all this was said as he held Yasuo close with all the kindness he could give.

« Then you can guess how it felt to wake up alone. » Direct hit, impossible to dodge. Sadness was as clear in his eyes than in his tone, with barely a tad of bitterness.

It hurt. Far from a surprise, Yi knew it wasn’t nice to put him through this. Yet he had no choice at the time._ I deserve this_. At least for what he inflicted.

By the second Yasuo’s gaze softened a bit, as if aware of the cruelty of his words. It was still true, he was allowed to say it.

« I’m sorry. » So honest, it was painful to say.

To soothe this awful feeling, Yi closed the gap again and kissed him, seeking that comfort he missed so much. Incredible how good a kiss could be. Yasuo’s answer came as quick, deepening contact till they could just hold each other and find forgiveness.

Overwhelming. He couldn’t stop. Yi wished it would go on forever, just the two of them. No world, no war, no one but them.

« I’m sorry too. But you’re wrong, I can still fight. I swear, I’ll be careful. For you. » After parting to say this, Yasuo looked so lost between helplessness and stubborness. He sounded genuine and Yi wanted to believe him.

What was the point of such anger ? Now it was useless. Yasuo was telling the truth, he was still able to fight. Protecting too much could only lead to the opposite effect. Yi had to let go, just a little. Even if the risk seemed too big, he had to.

« Alright, alright. Just, don’t go too far or I won’t be able to follow. » Emotions became too much again, threatening to spill even so slightly in his tone. What a blessing to love, even if it meant carrying fears and worries.

This time, it wasn’t a kiss Yi was after but to simply be held. Completely pressed to the latter, he closed himself a bit and nuzzled his neck. Safety, just for a time. Not his. The only safety he wanted was for Yasuo.

Right there, in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye aye now let's have more fluff


	18. Chapter 18

_At last… _

Really, it had been barely days since this whole story started but Yasuo couldn’t have wait any longer. Finally a kiss, what he died to do for a moment. Now it was done, they were free to take advantage of that forever.

Oh Yi’s response to it was a blessing, true passion that didn’t wait to be released. At first anger still guided his reaction then it was soothed by their feelings.

Yasuo was angry too. They both were, to a serious point. That stare when they found each other was telling of Yi’s anger. He remembered, a bit earlier when he felt it from his soulmate. The most likely was that he sensed Yasuo coming. _He feels that too_. Yet to be confirmed but he was sure.

Now Yi was holding him tightly, hard embrace that gave away the strenght of emotions in the moment. Incredible, to see how fast they went from contained fury to an open-heart conversation.

_Not too far. I’ll try_. Still difficult to correctly grasp the fact that someone was ready to follow him to hell and back. Almost making him change his tactic a bit, since he would have to pay attention to the risks he put Yi through. _Damnit_. Now he understood such extreme worry from the latter. Himself didn’t feel so well about putting his soulmate at risk because of his way of fighting. By saying he wouldn’t be able to follow, it still heavily meant that he would still go as far as possible. Yasuo wasn’t ready to see the limit to that, which could be death. As simply as that.

_Fuck_.

This was what he deserved for underestimating one’s dedication by love. Now he would have to endure it as well and make sure Yi was safe. A bit ridiculous to realize, both would do as much as possible for the other and by it make these respective efforts useless. This would give him a headache if he thought too much.

Instead, he hugged back the best he could. He had his soulmate right there, in the safest place in Runeterra. _I’ll protect you too_. So it wasn’t one-sided. They both cared deeply for each other.

« Hey, tell me. Did you feel it too ? »

« What ? » A bit muffled in his scarf, given the way Yi held him.

« Errr I don’t know how to explain but I think you know. Instinct, that kind of crap. I don’t actually know where to find you but still a bit yes. »

« Oh. Then yes, I know what you’re talking about. I cannot explain it. » Again so thoughtful, face turned slightly. The embrace remained all the same. « I felt your pain. And anger. »

« Yeah, that too. I felt how you were ready to beat the shit out of me once I had found you. » Impossible to hold back that chuckle, now that all negativity was purged for a time.

« I really thought I would but I won’t harm someone already wounded. Plus, you weren’t that wrong and I wasn’t that right. »

« Awww you care about me… » Dumb smile maybe but he couldn’t help it. He had found his special someone and no way for him to give him back. Over his dead body.

« Since all this shitshow was just about your wound, yes, to say I care about you would be an understatement. »

Meeting his gaze, Yasuo found so much dedication in there, he was almost scared for his life on reflex although it was the opposite. Nothing bad would happen now that he had Yi by his side.

Next second, he was caught into a kiss that stole all his words. Such urgency to keep him close, it made him melt on the spot. Hands clung to him and his scarf, keeping him into this soft exchange for as long as they could bear.

When at last they broke apart to breathe, Yi had such a nice look, a bit hazy like after a long dream. Lips a bit pinker after such attention, slightly open as he recovered his breath, simply gorgeous.

The words spilled before he could hold it back.

« I love you. » Like an evidence. It was his truth, something that would never change. His heart dropped and jumped back to life at the same time.

Right then, the latter went still. These beautiful eyes alike emeralds filled with sudden emotion, added to all they already felt before. Was it really needed to add to the pile ? Yasuo died innerly for that sweet reaction, to be looked at like he was a miracle. To be loved.

His mark tingled a little. Warm, as strange as it could be. Not in a bad way. To have a physical reaction out of this was surreal.

« I love you too. »

How could words have such impact ? It was nothing really new for them and yet Yasuo felt that close of shedding a few tears.

It surely showed on his face because amidst the dark blush, he saw Yi smiling with such fondness. So precious.

As if they needed more, the latter pushed him lightly off balance while holding him firmly, till he fell gently in the grass. Too fast move, Yasuo didn’t register everything. Only the result counted, he was on the ground, pillowed by the grass and he was joined as quick. Just above him, Yi looked both happy and overwhelmed by the latest confession. Soon it would break and there was no garanty they would make it.

_Oh darling… _

Lips found his with hunger, silencing him for a while. Yasuo could die right then and there, he wouldn’t complain. Pulled with care into this kiss, he gave everything back till the last drop. His love, his heart, his body, only for one man. His.

It would be easy to forget the war, as if it never happened. Even though it was the exact reason they found each other. For now, he clung to Yi and followed that passionate kiss. Blissfully unaware of the world around.

Soon reality would find them but it was alright to let go just for an instant. While they could hold each other.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
just small warning, tomorrow there won't be (really, 100%) any update because i have a presentation next day and no way i can write before heading to bed at 11 and work the presentation argggggggggg
> 
> thanks for reading!!

The return to the fights was quite rough in contrast to such emotions before. That damned view of many corpses, foul smell and corrupted atmosphere, he didn’t miss it. But they had to go back, this was their mission in this war – to push back the invasion and chase each single noxian soldier that walked these previously harmonious lands.

It was rough because one would never get used to this. Never. Each day could be the last, unless one was lucky or skilled enough. Noxus was still on the move, destroying path through hills and woods.

Yi wasn’t glad to go back but now he had someone by his side. It meant both having to look after Yasuo and having company. A fair price. He wouldn’t complain anyway, this wasn’t the right time and to simply have someone close was a luxury.

So they returned together in that hellish area, with the small comfort of knowing the other nearby. A last kiss before the rush, then their lives were between fate’s hands.

Nothing new for him. It never changed, between looking for any ionians and fellow fighters and slaying any enemy that had the worst luck in this world.

It was still nice to notice how efficient their pause at the village had been for his condition. Exhaustion was one of their enemies and a real danger. For now Yi felt well, although gradually this would change again. _Let’s hope_. To sleep during war time was the less enjoyable thing, impossible to truly relax because of the constant risk or awareness.

It last some time, more blood staining the family blade and more silent regrets. What truly kept him aware of time was Yasuo. Yi always made sure to look for him when he didn’t see him for a while. _Better safe than sorry_. This soulmate link only made it easier because now he knew without explanation where to find the latter. Never too far, by luck.

Maybe it seemed like looking after a child and it could be valid indeed because of Yasuo’s whimsical runs into noxian lines. No matter how far he went, Yi remained close. There was this instinct to keep a certain distance of safety. As soon as he felt the latter going fast in one direction, his reflex would be to follow, even if he wasn’t planning on joining him. An ethereal leash. Never one without the other.

War was harsh on them, always fighting and risking everything. To stay there and hear over and over again the same clash of steel, the same clamor to fight and the same screams dying alone. One could lose their mind at this, if they weren’t already joining the deads underneath the battle.

Among all this stream of noises and information, fears and anger, Yi remembered one thing. One time when Yasuo returned to him by himself after noticing him in his sight. To see a smile in such hell was odd but loved all the same. The spark of hope needed to continue and never give up.

This would stay forever in hsi mind, when the latter cut his way to join him. A streak of blood on his face, not his obviously but it made Yi worry all the same. Barely the time to brush his cheek with care before lips found his and made him forget horror for a second.

Joy had nothing to do in a battlefield. Love neither. It could be a distraction, keeping them from focusing on the real matter at stake.

It didn’t last. Merely a peck then Yasuo was gone, breath of air after his passage.

_Focus. Don’t die_.

No words exchanged because their link was far enough to convey any worry or assurance. What would they even say ? Please, stay alive ? Both would rather still be standing by the end of the day, of course they wouldn’t die. At least, not try to.

The wind was furious but still able to be contained. Yi had seen it at work, how the latter yielded it to face his enemies. Deadly when well used. The gods knew how skilled Yasuo was, with such rare ability.

For him, it wasn’t a matter. Yi was ready to face the wind when it got too strong and needed to be held back.

~

Moments like these stayed in his mind until they found each other. The rare times when they could rest a little, as much as war allowed.

This was part of the new things. Having a soulmate by his side meant taking care of him and making sure he wouldn’t die by overconfidence. It also meant taking care of his self, especially after that one wound that cause such a fuss for nothing.

Since Yi wanted the best for the latter, he always came to take him out of the battlefield when he deemed it had been too long since latest rest. He didn’t care that much about his own tired state but Yasuo needed this. The full circle came when he claimed Yi was being unfair with himself and that this soulmate link implied both had to take care of each other. So Yasuo wanted him to take some rest too.

All this led to this kind of scene, far enough from the clash of fights and the awful atmosphere following Noxus. Going back to a village each time wasn’t possible, too tiring so everyone did as they could. For them, it was by finding a rather safe place in one of the woods around.

« Show me your wound. Do you feel well ? »

Once the constant risk was gone, Yi could breathe again and offer the attention required. It was well known for both that Yasuo’s wound wasn’t that deep but he wanted to be sure it didn’t open again during the fights. This was after all the main reason of his worries.

« I’m fine. I don’t feel anything, usually I’m more busy running to save my ass. »

Quiet hum. He joined Yasuo on the ground and made a gesture for him to show the bandaged part. _He’s not wearing enough_. For his own safety and survival he should wear more resistant armor and not just for his arm. It was important.

The good news was that his wound was on the good path to recovery. Not open or anything. _Good_. There, Yi felt a bit better. He had been so scared about this detail increasing risk for Yasuo but it seemed that he overthought.

Still careful over the latter’s skin, his hand lingered a little despite the lack of purpose there. It was done, he had checked his wound. No need to dwell there. However, Yi couldn’t stop himself.

No doubt Yasuo noticed. After all, it would be difficult for him to ignore that hand gently carressing his side where skin was revealed. Yi felt himself blushing, it wasn’t really the best time. Would there be one ?

Until the latter lifted his chin and kissed him urgently. _Mmh_. Oh patience, gone for good. Yasuo pulled him to his lap, having him sit there while he took as mission to deepen the kiss. Licking eagerly into his mouth, with the cheer eagerness so typical from their youth. Yi returned everything, strong grasp over the latter’s shoulder, the other hand coming through his hair.

There, so much for holding back. Now they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Although this was war time, it was perfectly understandable to reach in such way for someone dear when next day couldn’t be guarantied.

Even once the kiss was broken, only to leave this gentleness after affection, they were helpless. Careful hands over each other in the same way someone would treat a splendid weapon, with deep care and genuine reverence. There was no risk to harm each other yet thye remained very cautious in any move. As if it would break the spell.

For inflicting such pain in the battlefield, their hands were now unable to give anything but love. Check they were still alive, still breathing. Yasuo’s hand settled over his chest and despite the heavy armor, that gesture was welcomed for the meaning given.

In return, Yi craddled the latter’s face and gazed softly at him. _Precious. Mine_. How short to get feelings but he wasn’t complaining. Yasuo was too easy to get fond of and he gave too many reasons to be loved. Even as suicidal as his tactics could seem.

Following the urge, he kissed him slowly. Relish the time together, it might run out soon. A hint of tongue and chaste passion made it even better. Yasuo was so sweet right now, hands settling over hips as he relished the instant.

Time stretched for an eternity and half, a real delight. However Yi wouldn’t forget so quickly, as good as this attention felt. _He needs to rest_.

Parting slightly, he murmured to him : « You need to rest, at least a little. »

« I know, I know. Let’s sleep then. » As if words had an impact, Yasuo yawned softly, accidently getting cuter than before.

« You sleep. I’ll be watching around. »

This was his worry speaking, he couldn’t let go so easily.

« No, there is no need. We’re safe. Plus you know if there is someone in a mile we’ll hear them coming. »

Oh so tempting to stay right there, when Yasuo opened his arms to him. He wasn’t wrong, they made sure to be far enough from the area of the fights and Yi was always a light sleeper. It wasn’t for nothing that he survived all this time already.

A chasted peck took him out of his inner debate, sighing his defeat.

« Alright then. »

Yi moved from their previous position to go instead by his side, back to that large rock they found as possible hiding spot. Without waiting Yasuo came closer and rested against him, snuggled in that small comfort he could find despite the armor. It was still fine, he welcomed him and kept a protective arm around his soulmate.

Paying attention to everything around, he kept his other hand over the handle of his blade, just in case. Yasuo did the same although he also liked to seek contact in this peaceful moment.

« Good night. » Then a last kiss asked. Yi gave it gladly, always happy to find gentleness in this cruel world.

« Good night, Yasuo. »

It wasn’t to properly talk a ‘good night’, they both knew they wouldn’t get a lot of sleep and it would have to do till next time. Still, they continued this habit not to lose their sanity because of war.

One day all this would be over and they would be able to share an actual bed and wish each other goodnight in the most perfect peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly, slowly....  
will it get heated one day?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo  
sorry, internet cut yesterday
> 
> thanks for reading

All this could almost become a sort of routine. The word wasn’t so correct though, because usually routine wouldn’t include the constant risk of losing each other. This was war time, not a simple period during sword school. Death was waiting at the corner for the smallest mistake.

Yasuo didn’t care that much. He knew too well this was dangerous and he better be cautious if he didn’t want to die too soon. Early death had no use in the war, this would be failure to fall so soon. Plus, there were a lot of people out there who wouldn’t mind seeing him dead so he had one more reason to stay alive, just to annoy them.

The last reason to stay alive was Yi. Just like his family, his soulmate held him dear and had already given so much affection. Yasuo refused to make him sad, even if this concept was still quite new. Staying alive to piss off many people was already his goal and now he would carry on just to be able to see the latter again.

_Love…_

When it became difficult out there, in the battlefield, Yasuo thought about him and the latest contact exchanged. A sort of fuel, a reminder of his reason to stay alive and fight back. Once everything would be over and Noxus defeated, they would be together, able to enjoy their new life now that they had found each other. Each soldier crossing steel with him was another step on the right path. _Soon_.

As if he had a real impact in this war. He doubted it but again, it was the number that counted. So many warriors had joined the fights and spilled blood for their land, everything helped. Who knew ? Maybe one day that stream of noxian soldiers would stop forever. This seemed like a far dream.

The war was already taking too long. Soon it would impact everyone’s motivation. It felt like it would never end. The biggest conflict for a long time and hope wasn’t as bright as the first days of fight back. Many had died, many had been fighting since the beginning. The empire seemed to never rest.

Keeping busy the backlines, Yasuo was one of the closest to this particular kind of hell. What brought so many people to invade these lands ? Why such passion to fight ? Why such thirst for blood ? Each day he saw noxian rage ready to consume Ionia. Why attack a nation that asked nothing but peace ? Asking questions was useless, a matter beyond him or any one fighting this war in valleys and mounts, steps in blood. Powers were at work and it wouldn’t meddle with the low fights.

In times like these, watching hatred from so close, Yasuo almost touched the absurdity of this conflict. Some noxians that ran out of the battlefield, solid fear reeking around. Kids. Some were so young, more than him and technically he was in age to fight. These weren’t. What was the point of all this ? It felt like the reasons didn’t matter, the purpose was a simple bloodbath. Enough to sober up and realize the madness of war.

Still, he wouldn’t flinch. He deserted his duty to protect the lands and the population, he wouldn’t give up because of this illusion. Even if he was merely playing the part of a pawn, meaningless soul. People still died because of Noxus and he was going to fight back as long as he could.

These questions remained though, busying his mind in the rare breaks. He didn’t like to think about it, only making his situation worse. Sometimes to see the whole picture wasn’t helpful. Just flesh sent to the gutter. There had to be a higher purpose and he wished to focus on that instead. Think of the good side, the lives saved, the village behind that was still in safety like so many in the back country. Think about Yi.

To see his soulmate always soothed whatever fears and worries he had. It was strange to explain but he reminded him why he was still here. Fighting for what was right.

The dance with wind and death resumed, a continuous clash of steel and last breaths. It was always too close, never really safe. At least Yasuo was good at this, strike and dodge, run and slay. Each time it felt like taking a deep breath then jumping into the deep. Only at the end he would go back to the surface and look for his soulmate. Never too far. He tried to keep that in mind and not force Yi to follow him in a deadly place.

Silent prayer for his beloved. Only the few seconds their gazes met accross the battlefield then it was enough, they knew it was fine for now. Next time would be later, once the sun had set and the crude flames lit the horizon. Then they would find each other and cheer to be still alive.

~

There were still good news these days. As the fights followed Noxus, they could find a closer place to rest. It was a monastery hidden among the trees, something difficult to spot for any outsider. Word ran between allies about the safe places close tot he battlefield.

This night, they would be able to sleep in safety. Again, what a luxury to be able to rest in a place guarded. As if it would even be found.

Here they were, having found a bed to share in a corner of this new place. After a good meal, they came here and lied down together. Yasuo was so glad to be right there, really they had some luck.

Although sleep didn’t come so fast. They simply held each other, armor off and quiet hands on each other. It was sweet because Yi obviously relaxed, contrast to every other time they slept outside. This was a relief to know his soulmate safe.

Gazing softly at each other until Yasuo couldn’t stop himself and claimed his lips. _Good…_ They were together, they were alive and they were safe for the night. Yi gasped into the kiss, pleased surprise of a few seconds before he accepted him fully.

This was exactly what they needed right now, the easy affection impossible to exchange during the day. Since that first kiss Yasuo always longed for more, almost an addiction.

He still parted slowly to gaze at Yi, obvious love in his eyes. Was that wrong ? War made everything so short, they could appreciate this as much as they could.

War, ghost lurking at the back of everyone’s mind. The constant threat. Yasuo couldn’t think of something else, right now his worries bubbled up.

In need for comfort he returned to nuzzle the latter’s neck, relishing contact like a rare thing. The embrace got tight, just like his emotions at the moment.

« Yasuo ? »

_Ah_. Not a real surprise, Yi would always notice if something was wrong. However it wasn’t always through the soulmate link that he felt it, maybe he was simply good at it.

« Mmh ? » He prefered to look up from this cozy spot he found.

« What’s wrong ? I know we’re supposed to sleep but you look a bit restless. » As to emphasize his concern, Yi brought a hand to his cheek, rubbing gently.

« Errr…it’s a bit stupid, no need to bother you with that. »

« Please tell me, I won’t judge. » Just for this, he came closer and gave a chaste peck, lingering an instant.

_Alright alright_.

« I know, it’s strange but…sometimes I wonder what’s the point of all this. It feels like the war will never end. And I know they’re the enemy but so much death, it’s making me sick of it. »

Yasuo biggest fear was to be misunderstood right now. The latter said he wouldn’t judge but it was really something to let out this kind of question. He hoped Yi would understand, even just a bit.

Silence settled at first and he didn’t dare to break it. He merely returned to snuggle shyly, a bit scared to be taken for kid asking too much.

« I feel that too. » Whisper so close as Yi held him tightly, tone deep in thoughts. « Honestly I don’t like to kill, no matter if they’re noxians or whatever. But I want to protect our land so I will keep going until everyone is safe. Including you. »

Love blossomed suddenly, far too sensitive to resist it. It was both heartwarming and incredibly relieving to hear a similar opinion from Yi. He wasn’t alone in this struggle.

« Thank you. » Were there tears in his tone ? Yasuo didn’t want to question that, feeling too much at once. Just a deep conversation about the war and now he got a lot of feelings.

« It’s alright, love, it’s alright. I won’t let anything harm you. » Dear embrace, the strenght of emotions that developped over time.

« Not just that. Thank you for understanding. I’m glad not to be alone in this. »

_Love_. Sweet name to be called. Yasuo wished he could return as much. At their point, it was probably fine.

« Oh. Then I’m equally glad. We’re together in this, until the very end. »

Nothing to add so Yasuo stayed right there, cuddled with affection. There was also a certain softness not to be forced to look at Yi when he spoke so openly. Sometimes what he felt was too strong to be voiced calmly.

Yet something stayed on his mind. _Until the end_. Not thinking about any early death but rather the moment when he would have to go back to his village. Yasuo wouldn’t be able to dodge this, it was his honor and duty.

At the time he had hoped the war would be over quickly but he started to think about it again. Maybe he would have to go back soon. The new sad part would be to say goodbye to Yi for a time, because he would probably stay to fight as long as the war raged.

« You’re still thinking, I can hear it. Anything else to say ? »

If he was to tell everything then so be it.

« Soon I’ll have to go back to the school. I thought the fights wouldn’t last that much and it doesn’t seem to stop so I’ll have to return for my duty. »

« I see. We both know the war isn’t close to an end, this decision is for the best. »

It didn’t help much.

« That’s not the problem. I don’t want to leave you… » To make him understand Yasuo met his gaze, trying to convey his worry and sadness.

Yi seemed to understand the issue quickly, soothing gesture to calm him. Foreheads touching, Yasuo let affection do its work, feeling a bit better.

« I…I don’t want to let you go so soon. I know it’s selfish and surely useless because we would find each other later but I can’t help it. I’m sorry, this isn’t helping. »

Such cascade of emotions wasn’t expected and it touched Yasuo deeply. _Oh…_ He wasn’t wrong, it would impact them both to stay far for a time. To hear Yi admit this was sweet and painful.

« You’re not wrong, I guess we’ll meet again soon enough. Surely they’ll give me a sanction for leaving and keep me at the village. At least you already know where to find me. » Small smile, despite the future ache.

« I hope it won’t take too long. You’ll be missed dearly, my love, my everything. »

Breath caught. Yi kissed him urgently, as to make it up for their future separation. It didn’t happen yet and already they felt it. Too shaken, Yasuo got lost in this new kiss. _My heart…_

How could they hurt in advance ?

It last until none could breathe, desperate for this dear affection and air. The strongest embrace possible, as long as they could hold each other.

« I’ll miss you too, baby…My sunshine… »

Soft joy mixed with early sadness took them, giving small pecks in that gentle rush. May it last forever.

That night, sleep took time to get them. At least they were together and safe, for now.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
i could post in time!!
> 
> thanks for reading <3

_He will leave soon_.

Was it so strange to wish for time to go slower ? Under normal circumstances it would be alright but right now it was war. In no way this was correct to wish, Yi was aware of it. Yet he longed to keep Yasuo in his reach while he could. Soon time would run out.

_It will happen. Nothing can change that_. Plus it was a genuine reason that pushed the latter to leave. He had to go back to his village and take responsibility for his duty. Yi was the first to understand that commitment but it ached little by little to think that at some point they would be separated for some time.

_How much ?_ Impossible to know, only time would tell them. He wasn’t really fond of that because in these troubled time, anything could happen. A small incident, a decision too harsh, anything. 

Yi didn’t like it to say the least. The only good side was that Yasuo would be a bit safer than in the battlefield running after noxians. Small relief. However the unknown wasn’t so hopeful.  There wasn’t even a way to be sure they would see each other, no wonder for how long they would be away. He wanted to believe but so far destiny had made everything difficult.

The most likely would be to return to Yasuo once the war over but it didn’t seem ready to end soon. Unless there was a big turn in the fights. Something was meant to happen, no doubt. Till then, Yi would count each day until he could find his soulmate.  _Not even gone and already missed…_

Was it normal to feel so much in love already ? Finding one’s soulmate could make everything seem fast but it was too good to relent. He left to fight a war and found love in the battlefield. Even if trying he wouldn’t get to that level of luck. Unhoped for. All that time sighing to find his soulmate and indeed it merely took him to break the first rule and go outside the village.

_No regrets_. If he was given the choice, he would go for it again. No matter how much it hurt to break the rule and run to war. Speaking of, it reminded him he would have to go back at some point. Maybe not as soon as Yasuo but it was unavoidable. _Maybe once the war is over_. It was too early and he wasn’t ready to face their wrath.

_What would they do ? Kill me ? No_. Yet he was sure the elders would find a good punishment for ‘fleeing’ the village. Would they even accept him home ? Thinking about it, that could make a good sanction. Heavy in meaning and harsh enough to make him realize his error. _Not an error but a choice_. Yi would never refuse to face his responsibility, it was part of his decision, no matter how painful this was going to be.

Quiet wondering in the rare silent times during the day. This was how he kept himself sane, by thinking of what he would do later, once it was over. The war wouldn’t go on forever, it would end one day. Till then he got to busy his mind, not to guilt himself to death over corpses. Be it by his blade or another fellow’s weapon, these soldiers had to die

A thoughtful look in Yasuo’s general direction from time to time helped too. This was for his worry. Soon his soulmate would be gone and he almost wished he could stay a little longer. To risk getting killed during the fights ? No, if he could dream then he would ask for the end of the war, Yasuo free of his duty and himself free of the village’s rule – to then maybe find a place to stay at the latter’s village.

All this would be wonderful but so unlikely to happen. To find his soulmate was already enough blessing for his lifetime, Yi didn’t dare to hope for more. Maybe just a little bit, some peace together.

Despair was everywhere around, the low exhaustion making this unbearable by the day. Hope was all they had and Yi would cling to it.

Soon he would say goodbye to Yasuo but it meant having him in a safer situation. If everything went well. Still better than to have nightmares about to finding him in time in the battlefield.

By each new day his heart tore a bit more. No matter how strong their embraces were in the early morning. Each time he could just think about the last time shared before separation. Yasuo obviously felt the same, clinging to him with such emotions, it made him speechless.

Better hope for the best and think ahead about their future reunion.

~

Until that day happened.

Yasuo had still tried to make it as painless as possible, even though it could hardly be called such. Indeed, their paths would part after a last night together in a safe place. At least it wouldn’t be rushed nor weighed by exhaustion. Just to imagine waking up in the wildness and know that it was the last time before a while.

No, at least they got a night to hold each other tightly and kiss until they fell asleep. Safe, far from the horrible noises of war. Yi remembered it so well, tears happened at some point yet in a rather small amount. They would find each other again, it was a promise. They wouldn’t die meanwhile.

The worst thing to happen. Unvoiced yet so clear in their minds. Shy touches in the privacy of darkness, swearing to be reunited as soon as possible.

Yi remembered his mark being kissed, many many times. Last attention provided, as if it could further their link. He did the same for Yasuo, lingering over the mark that already fulfilled its purpose.

An oath.

Morning arrived too soon and Yi met it with a heavy heart. Why be so sad ? In the best case, they would meet again in maybe a few months. Really, difficult to know when all this would be over. They just hoped, this was all they had.

That morning, both of them sitting in this kind bubble of safety, he gave what he could. His heart, his words. The only thing he didn’t expect was Yasuo’s request. A souvenir. Himself kept that piece of scarf, it was still a part of his soulmate. In exchange, Yi cut a strand of his hair and gave it. Nothing special, he thought, but it made the latter so happy. Kept safely, his own souvenir.

Then it was time. They prefered to say goodbye before daytime, if that could reduce the risk of bad encounters for Yasuo.

On the stone steps of the monastery, they wished each other good luck.

At first merely lacing their hands together then needing more, they hugged to finally surrender and kiss. Appreciate it, in case it was indeed the last one. At least this was a proper goodbye, if anything bad happened afterward. Yi muffled any bad thoughts as he could, focusing on the lively feeling of his soulmate in his arms.

They couldn’t let go. A few more desperate kisses, each one meant to be the last but they couldn’t resolve themselves to be the one parting.

Until they had to. It was time.

Yi didn’t mean to but tears trailed down his cheeks. He wasn’t even that powerless, helpless. It seemed too big reaction for this, like his body decided this on its own. Maybe their link was crying, since Yasuo was reduced to a similar struggle.

Barely a few tears yet it felt too much. Tension let out. Nothing could hold it back, like a reflex. It was different than that night’s tears.

After a quiet shared laugh for this unexpected reaction, Yasuo leaned closer to give him a peck. The urge to linger was obvious, so painful. He didn’t though and parted instead. This had to be done.

Their grasp went loose then he walked away. Turning back every two seconds, as if to check Yi was still here.

Far, far away. Gentle waving. Until he was out of sight. Then his heart cried a bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik it's quite a lot of crying but they need it for now. plus, most of it is just the bond messing with them


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
haha, glad you liked the angst, it's not close to end xD
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_It won’t stop…_

Cheeks still damp with tears, Yasuo made his way between hills and valleys. What a horrible feeling, as if his chest was empty. He didn’t even mean to cry, this felt like a bodily reflex to such separation. Pain was merciless.

Yet he went on, one step after the other, until distance was put between him and Yi. If the first time they had been separated left a rather bitter taste, now it was truly awful. Because he knew he wouldn’t see him for a while. They had no idea how long this would take, what was going to happen. Or if Yi would make it out alive, as simply as that. Yasuo hated that thought, he kicked it down for good but it still hurt to imagine. He wouldn’t be here to look after the latter – even though it was more the opposite most of times – he couldn’t guaranty his safety.

_Take care of you, darling_. Not even doubting his soulmate, far from it. Yasuo knew too well that the latter could survive without problem. He had the skill, the speed and most of all the good sense not to run into the noxian lines. Unless there was a serious matter, Yi wouldn’t fail. He trusted him not to.

Then why feel that much ? This question wasn’t really fair. They were soulmates, barely found and already struggling with the fear of loss. It could be so cruel to be separated by early death.

Since tears didn’t stop pouring, as faint as it was, Yasuo wondered silently. Was their bond complete ? Was this short time enough to make their link last ? Separation was meant to hurt but this was really too much, barely one hour after. How would it go after a day, a week, a month ? He hated to imagine that, this wasn’t going to be fun. Wiping his face clean, Yasuo carried on, back to the fights.

By now he was a bit far of the actual battlefield. Sun almost up, shyly hiding behind low clouds on the horizon. Muffled, just like Yasuo’s mood in this sad morning. Could sadness have such physical impact ? Before he would have greatly doubted it but now it was different. Each step separated them, without hope to meet soon.

No way he would arrive so fast to the village. Yasuo had traveled so much from his homeland, surely he wouldn’t make it this day.

First night alone. Oh it made him feel like shit. No soulmate to hold in his arms, no gentle words to soothe his worries. No Yi. Only the wind by his side and the solitude it carried. If only time could pass in a second, to be able to find him again.

Several times Yasuo came to a stop, turning to look behind at the afar. It hurt so much. Their link made him face the ‘right’ direction on instinct, at least he still felt connected to him in some way. Crazy ideas came up but he couldn’t give into that. To run back to Yi sounded so sweet but he would still have to go away at a moment. No way to dodge this pain, it was part of his responsibility for deserting.

Sometimes it felt like they both looked after each other, even with such distance. Merely a gaze in that specific direction then a warm feeling bloomed in his chest. Maybe he was already going mad, maybe this was a soulmate thing, maybe just his imagination. In any case Yasuo clung to these small details.

Otherwise, he felt sadness. Not just his. Just like the time they were so angry at each other for leaving him behind, now he felt faint sadness that seemed to come from the other side of the link. He would have felt comforted if it didn’t mean that Yi was equally sad.

To be missed was such a gentle feeling but not worth inflicting this to his soulmate. _It will be alright_. Maybe if he focused on positive things it would be better. He just had to be patient, though he wasn’t known for that quality.

~

Yasuo wasn’t wrong, he barely reached more familiar land once night was falling. This meant he would have to sleep outside before resuming the walk next day.

Sighing in defeat, he found himself a quiet spot under a tree, well hidden just in case. The only surprise would be to meet any kind of animal but this was still better than finding some lost noxian soldier. In theory there weren’t any in this region, prefering to attack another place.

So went his first evening alone since he returned to Yi after their rest at the village. Incredibly lonely. All he could do was wishing for quick sleep, like a prisoner hoping for a quick death. It would cut directly his longing for a time. Sadly it never really went as he wanted.

In the darkest hours, leaning against the tree, he thought about his love.

Both awake, lonely, longing. _I need a kiss…_

All seemed dull, awful. Why did he have to leave ? He was so happy with Yi. All this thinking could get a bit depressing, maybe the result of so much distance between them. Like homesick but instead his heart ached from being far of his beloved.

This was the ultimate test to his dedication. Duty had to be carried on, no matter how hard it was on both of them. In this moment, when everything seemed bad because of the absence of his love, he had to stay strong. It would eventually get better.

The mark tingled lightly. To reach for it was always a bit difficult without taking off this armor part. Yasuo still did it, to remind himself this wouldn’t last too long. It still helped, even so slightly. Maybe worth a smile but it soothed his increasing sadness.

How was he going to survive months without Yi ? He started to think about it seriously. It stung and stung, never letting go.

Just the time to realize his vision got a bit blurry, eyes filled with tears. _Again ?_ He wasn’t a kid anymore yet this still happened. Small tears that fell shyly before it became too much. How could he get so emotional over this ? Not that he didn’t miss Yi but was it so necessary ? Too sensitive, maybe because of distance.

Quiet sobs in that otherwise silent night. Barely a breeze to rustle the leaves nearby. If it went on like this, hopefully he wouldn’t have anything left to cry next day.

_Come on_. _Do it for him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not so proud of this chapter but it will do  
we will now follow them in their 'adventures' until reunion  
aka the big chunk of angst


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
no internet at night so here is the update!!
> 
> thanks for reading!

It was even worse than Yi had imagined, especially at night. That day went so slowly, no matter how ‘busy’ he was as he returned to the fights. Walking the same path than Yasuo when he left their temporary rest place, except at some point he ran to the battlefield instead of going away from it.

So painful. That ache lingered in his chest, settling for good. It had been so hard just to watch his soulmate go away, out of his view, and do nothing. At the smallest possibility Yi would have ran after him, catching him for a last kiss, a last embrace or to keep him by his side forever.

Was love supposed to grow that fast ? It felt like skipping months, years, many steps on the way to full understanding. They didn’t know each other that well, it would still take more time together to make this love bloom. These weeks had been enough to make him believe yet it gave him a reason to worry too.

_Take care, please_. He was aware Yasuo was the less likely to die, far too skilled and stubborn for that. Furthermore, he wasn’t directly fighting in the war. In theory, the risk was a lot less compared to what Yi had going. But worry never stopped. No one would have expected a foreign invasion and here they were now. No one would have expected Ionia gathering its strenghts and spilling blood for blood, in lands supposed to stay in harmony. The rules had changed, it was on them to comply or not.

Maybe one of the few good things was the new reason given. Yi had more motivation to fight this war because the quickest it would end, the sooner he would return to Yasuo. He was aware a single man couldn’t change the turn of the war through the battlefield – unless to truly be blessed by the gods – but he would do his par.

Many corpses joined the already dead on the ground. No sepulture, no prayers, no words. At the end of the day Yi still had a bitter thought for all these nameless souls, fighting for evil purposes. Now they would join their comrades in death. It was heavy on his mind to kill that much. He was good at it and it scared him. No one knew Wuju, its speed, strenght and skill. Too easy sometimes. _Please make it stop_. There was no pleasure to take in slaying other persons, no matter what lies they were fed, what glory they seeked, what thirst for blood guided them. Despise the cause, not the pawn.

Between this inner turmoil and his gone love, Yi was a bit lost. His heart longed for Yasuo, his mind knew there was nothing good to find in this pit of sadness and his hands were restless. Too used to kill, already. He couldn’t let go of his blade, never. It could be a matter of life and death. All it took during war was a lucky strike, one second of inattention.

Sometimes he still looked for the latter, by reflex. He was too used to pause for a split second, looking in Yasuo’s direction. But he was gone, he wasn’t fighting this war directly. Despite this, he was still facing his direction, wherever he was. It warmed his heart and made him a bit more sad.

Awful tyranny of distance, making them helpless. Before he was almost able to hear from his soulmate but now the link was so thin, a thread likely to break if he made another step in the wrong direction.

And it increased more and more. As if Yasuo would never find his home and walk away forever. Yi hated that thought, pushing it away to keep his sanity. No use in imagining bad things, reality was already harsh enough.

Until it stopped, as night fell. This could be quite logical, Yasuo wouldn’t walk during the night all exhausted as he was. No doubt he would rest. There was even the possibility that he was back to his village and sword school. Though Yi wasn’t so sure about that possibility, the link gave away nothing of potential emotions felt at his return. It could be very diverse but quite strong.

So probably this was a night in the wild, after finding a small corner to sleep. Himself would have to get to that soon, already taking his distance with the loud noise of steel and screams.

_The first night_. Everything brought him back to their separation. The night before was so sweet, thinking about it would just making him too emotional and neither needed it right now. Holding Yasuo in his arms, gentle words whispered to each other until they would fall asleep despite pushing it as far as possible because next step was going on separate paths.

_I miss him…_

From what he could feel – no matter how correct this expression was for a soulmate bond – Yasuo wasn’t doing better than him. Sadness was so clear, seeping in their connection like dark drops of ink. It made Yi equally sad adn by such, probably it filtered in their link and made the longing too strong.

Tears. He heard it. At least, that was how it felt like. So difficult to describe. But he was sure he heard a sob, very quiet in his mind. There was no one able to tell him if that was normal for soulmate or if he was hearing things completely made up. _I’m not crazy. Not yet_.

Next instant his eyes filled with tears and a few escaped. It was like always since they knew they would be separated, tears that didn’t belong to him but to them. His state of mind was far from the despair of distance but tears still ran down his cheeks. Yi settled in a quiet place for the night and focused a bit on what he could sense from the other side. Indeed it was Yasuo, sorrow echoing back to him. At that point, it was just a ‘game’ of take and return because both were sad about it.

On reflex he unfasted the protection over his left arm, looking for that piece of scarf hidden there. Fingertips rubbed the old fabric, thoughts focused on the person he got that from. _Yasuo_. Oh he wished his soulmate would be alright. They had to stay strong, it had to end at some point then they would be able to find each other.

_Courage, my love_. If only it was possible to give back some affection through their link. This would be greatly helpful.

Two souls, yearning to be reunited after the first times of joy. Maybe with enough luck they would find each other sooner than expected.

~

Next day was similar, same bloodbath and same hollowness for missing his soulmate. Yi wondered if it would go on like this forever. It hurt.

Even more because at some point distance increased again, for obvious reasons. Yasuo was resuming his travel to his homeland. The only good point was that now Yi knew he was right, the latter stopped somewhere to sleep.

The same thing happened, distance no longer changing. Except this was far too early to night time, more like the afternoon. Yi wondered why. Maybe the latter at last made it home.

The only thing he didn’t expect was such rush of anger, flooding their link. It was powerful, so much compared to whatever light echoes they got every other time.

Anger, with many nuances. Injustice. Resentment. Pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know i'll have to do it


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!  
at last internet...
> 
> thank you for reading!!

_No, this is not happening. It can’t be true_.

Elder Souma was dead.

Yasuo couldn’t believe but he was forced to face the facts anyway. His master was dead, while he had been busy fighting the war. His exact duty, protect Elder Souma.

How could this happen ? Noxus was so far from the sword school or their area in general. Except that one bloodbath where all noxians and ionians had died, there was no direct threat.

_Who did this ??_

The most obvious question but it had been some time since anyone at the sword school stopped thinking about it. They had already found the murderer. Yasuo.

When he came back to sword school to face his eventual punishment for deserting, he was ready for anything. Except that. Really, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t plan being accused of murdering his own master. While he was gone, nonetheless.

_Bullshit_.

Nothing made sense, he had left to fight and yes it was a bit selfish to do since he had a duty here. But he never killed his master. _Never_. One of the first to see his potential and not his reason of birth. Someone that taught him everything to fight. And now Elder Souma was dead and every former fellow cursed his name for committing this crime.

Life wasn’t fair. But right now this really went too far.

Barely after entering the sword school, still a bit glad to find his homeland preserved, Yasuo had been circled by the warriors left. After a hard time of one-sided explanations – more like a long series of insults and few rare facts – they forcefully brought him to be jailed. Kept for leaving. After all, he was a criminal, no ?

Oh he did fight back, as much as he could but he wouldn’t risk killing someone right then. No matter how angry he was, he had the sense not to cause more troubles. Maybe they would listen and think again, find proofs he wasn’t guilty.

Locked in a dark room, without escapes, Yasuo let his fury unleash. For nothing.

Why was it happening to him ? Wasn’t the separation rough enough ? It felt like he would always be punished for things he never committed himself. His only error had been to leave for the fights but he couldn’t know that someone would kill Elder Souma. He was aware this was his responisbility to be there but someone came, intruded in the sword school, killed the most powerful warrior here then left.

The worst luck in that world. With all this, it was almost a miracle that he was found by his soulmate. The only good thing to look for in this hell.

Raging all alone, Yasuo struggled to even find hope. They were so convinced he was a murderer, they didn’t even let him explain his point of view. That was the worst part of already being hated by half the people in this village, no one would dare to defend him. Too good occasion to get rid of the bastard.

The only people that cared about him were his family and Yi. Now it hurt because he had been hoping to see his mother, at least a shot moment. Just to see if she was doing well, if she would forgive him for leaving to defend their lands. All he ever wanted was to make her proud and happy. This latest accusation was just going to ruin their honor. As if it wasn’t already.

Stomps against the door, angry calls for anyone near. He never stopped. This was the bad side of locking down someone too stubborn, it meant listening to voiced fury without an end.

No one would listen to him. All they wanted was to put him through a quick trial then done. _No. I won’t_. He would never give them the pleasure to shut up.

Yasuo was fine with being punished for his decision, it was only fair. What he completely refused was to take the blame for someone else. Someone dared to kill Elder Souma et they found the easiest target to blame. He was sick of it.

Slowly he came to think that maybe someone among them did it. A student, a master, a villager. This was far too clean to be Noxus. Maybe he was wrong but Yasuo felt something wasn’t right. They were all too zaelous to accuse him.

This was why he kept calling, for most of the day. Somewhere the real killer was free, getting away with that crime. Unbearable. Honor urged him to take care of this, not to avenge his master but at least bring the culprit to justice. They were all too happy to kill an innocent.

When night came, pain showed up too. After fury was sadness and suffering, the aftershock. Why was anyone so quick to hate him ? Why did they need to make him pay for something he never did ? It hurt so much, like being repeated his whole childhood that his existence had no meaning except bringing troubles. Didn’t these folks realize they were exactly making him what they thought he was ?

_Mother…_

All he wanted was to make it up to her, to give another reason to remember him other than for the sin he represented. Was she already aware of his ‘deeds’ ? Did they told her ? Of course they would, just to put more salt in the wound. A splendid occasion to show how bad it was to give birth to him. A mistake.

Yasuo wouldn’t apologize for something he never did. But right now, like many night since he was a kid, he wanted to apologize for the pain their family endured. This wasn’t close to end, not right now.

About Yone, he didn’t know what to think. Probably his brother wasn’t in the region, having left to fight in the war. Yasuo wasn’t decided if it was a good or a bad thing. The good side was that his brother hadn’t heard about it yet thus couldn’t be disappointed with him. The bad side was that Yone could have helped him right now, the village would accept to listen to him. At least, more than the nonexistant speaking time granted to Yasuo. He could count on him, he would believe in his innocence.

If he had thought the latest night was the worst of his life, this one right now was a serious challenger. Alone, all the same but locked in a dark room and kept away by force. Lonely but not just physically. He was at his vilalge, homeland was supposed to be good and care for each of its children. Yet he was welcomed by threats and insults, caged like an animal.

_Yi… _

He missed him so much. Separation was hell to endure and with all this going on, he didn’t know if he would make it. Hopelessness got to him, in the darkest time.

Why was he alive if it was to hurt like this ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> canon going on~


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
small update there, to keep the rhythm going!
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_This doesn't make sense._

As if it ever made sense. War was changing everything and trying to keep track was so difficult, even for Yi.

It had been three days since he and Yasuo gave their last affection before their future reunion. Three days and it felt so long already but that wasn't the matter at hand.

To put it simply, Yi didn't understand. From what he could sense in their soulmate link, many things had happened on Yasuo's side and none of it followed what he had 'planned' – going back to his school and making sure to take his duty back.

The second day was already odd, because incredible anger flooded their link. It was too sudden, too strong, it even confused Yi while he was fighting in the battlefield. It overtook his mind for a few seconds, to the point he registered it as his own and it would be a mistake to say it didn't guide his blade further in his already deadly path. New rage. Then it decreased enough for him to regain control and realize it wasn't his, just Yasuo's side.

After that, it didn't go away. It kept bubbling up at the surface, like blood boiling low before something drastic. Yi had to put this aside until he was somewhere safe enough to think a little. He simply wasn't in the right moment and state to deal with this, not when he had already such difficulties to endure with separation and moral struggle.

At the end of this second day after their goodbyes, Yasuo's anger was still clear in their connection, seeping like a bad taste. Yi didn't really understand the reason of all this but he would trust his soulmate, this wasn't a mere problem. Even when he had left him behind at the village and woke up alone, there was barely a few waves of anger rolling in their link and nothing more. This was a storm in comparison.

The third day only made Yi more convinced that something bad happened. After being 'still' in one place for more than a day, Yasuo moved again. New distance added between them, new direction taken and nothing predictable. Yi was so lost. _What is happening ?_

The outburst could only be the result of returning in his sword school and finding somehow a reason to be mad. This wasn't really fair, to push Yasuo to such level of emotion, it had to be serious. For a full day the latter didn't seem to move that place so Yi felt a bit assured that his soulmate had indeed joined his home.

However, this new distance changed everything. Yasuo was still on the move, the anger was strongly mixed with pain and sadness and nothing would help him understand the reason of all this. He was supposed to get him, apologize for his decision and eventually endure the punishment reserved to this. It couldn't have been so bad.

If it wasn't enough to worry Yi, now he could just feel his soulmate running away. It was strange, there was no way to check but he felt the hurry, unlike Yasuo's first travel back home – if that was indeed what happened. _What is he doing ?_

Was he wrong ? Did Yasuo actually done differently than he said and went somewhere else ? By default Yi trusted him, because the latter was far too easy to read in his words and emotions. Then what was happening ? A change of heart ? A new matter ? It could be.

It was even more concerning because fury reached him sometimes, as if it became too much on Yasuo's side. Something must have deeply wounded or upset him. It couldn't be a small matter. The first night after that rush of anger, Yi also felt pain dripping in the link little by little, until it touched him too and he could just yearn for his soulmate. To be apart was horrible and everything brought him back to this, loneliness.

The only good side was that this pain seemed a bit different from the one caused by solitude. Not a real relief to know but it had to be considered. Whatever Yasuo was enduring or learned made him think less about their separation and its pain. Yi was a bit glad, it could get heavy and painful. On the other side, it meant the latter was hurt on something else.

_Please don't be sad or angry_. He was one to talk. Easy to police other people on this but it was normal to feel and express emotions. What Yi truly wished was that whatever caused the latter to feel so strongly wasn't serious or dangerous. Likely though.

Why would Yasuo stay on the run ? He would never get an answer all alone. The only time to get it would be once they found each other, which wasn't so sure for now.

The third night hit hard, like the previous but with a specific flavor to it. Even as he went to rest, Yi could sense their link getting thinner as time went. The latter was still on the move. _Why ?_ Even at night. What could push him to this ?

Distance was getting on his nerve without a doubt. The blessing and the curse of having a soulmate, something he never thought possible before discovering it. It felt like it made him sick, nothing too violent but it was still felt physically. Yasuo was hurting, somewhere. They were both alone, so far from each other and still a bit aware of what happened to the other. Like a wall between them.

After having progressed on recovery, it hit Yi again. To the point of tears. Why did he had to feel that much ? Every single feeling was like exacerbated, in ridiculous amounts. They would survive anyway, why cry on this ?

Being aware of the futility of such worries and pain didn't help. It was still there, throbbing as to remind him a part of his soul was missing. Was it good or bad to break like this at night ? At least it wouldn't put his life at risk during the fights but at the same time, it could be the reason it happened only at night. The war and Noxus were good distractions but barely held him during the day. At night, his thoughts returned rightfully to Yasuo and their shared pain.

_Stop this, please..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know, canon gonna hurt a lot more than what i'm doing atm xD


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
now internet is back -__-
> 
> thanks for reading!!

Run. Never stop running.

_Where ?_

It was maddening to search something without a clue or rather someone. Even worse, because someone could move and flee, fight and hide. Still, Yasuo kept moving without any idea where he should go. Somewhere the culprit was running away from this crime, probably already blending in that chaotic time of war. Nothing helped.

A whole week went, with barely no mark to distinguish each day from the others. A week since he had broken out of this stupid attempt at jailing him. Nothing could contain him for too long, especially not under such injustice. Yasuo had to go so he did, at the favor of the night.

Staying at his childhood village wouldn’t help, the culprit wouldn’t have stayed that close of a place ready to explode from anger. Not when there were so many fighters. No, whoever they were, they had long left the area for a safer place. _Coward_. Insults and jabs were all Yasuo had at the moment, with solitude. Anything to distract him from this wreck that was his life at the moment. As if it could get worse.

Always on the run because he had his own demons chasing him. No doubt anyone he already knew from the village and sword school could be after him. After all, he had killed elder Souma, he deserved that. Did he ? Yasuo wished they would live him at peace and let him look for the true guilty but sadly they were convinced he did the murder.

Death was the only solution for this. So he prefered not to get caught and brought back to the sword school, they would almost make a show for his execution. Maybe even have his mother watch. Awful idea, he pushed it back as quick.

_Mother..._

She deserved nothing of this. Now her bastard was running away, accused of murder. No way she could know the truth, even less if everyone had already come to rub the ‘facts’ in her face.

Yasuo also wished he could have stopped by, just to see her an instant. It would have meant so much for him, peace of a few minutes. However that wasn’t smart. If anyone had heard of him coming back to their home, no doubt his mother would take another blame and possibly have to endure all of the responsibility. Never try to bet on a village’s hatred for a few innocent people. _It’s not her fault, not her fault_. Who would defend her now that he and Yone were gone ? Hopefully his brother would come back at some point, if he didn’t die in the war but that was highly unlikely. Not his rival and model without reason.

Long sighs, all alone as he avoided the main roads. It was better not to attract attention but in such troubled time, he doubted anyone really cared for a shady ionian fellow. Everyone prefered to watch out for Noxus and its damned army.

What was a search without any clue ? Impossible. If only he wasn’t directly accused, maybe he would have been able to see the remains of the scene, maybe able to learn a few things. What killed his master ? Was there a fight or no violence ? To defeat such a strong warrior, the other peson must have been really cunning or powerful.

No use in making hypothesis, he had literally no idea what happened. Just an idea of the weapon used could have helped, everyone had their preferences. Jumping from this topic his thoughts drifted to Yi, since he had a rather peculiar blade. One he never saw before, really heavy looking but he made the yielding look like it was as light as a stick.

Now that he thought about his soulmate, his heart felt heavy. Time wasn’t nice on him and this kind of at first innocent thought was quick to make him more depressed about everything. Distance was horrible, it felt like each step that didn’t make them closer would haunt him. Now their link was so thin, almost painful.

Being on the run meant he had time to simply think about Yi and rarely it was happy. Both felt each other’s pain and emotions, this wasn’t an exception. At night, it was the worst time, maybe because both of them had to stop somewhere to rest.

More than once he felt a small echo from Yi, slow pain that had a very vicious side. It wasn’t searing like a stab, quite the opposite. It was a blade cutting skin on on surface without any risk to destroy everything. Just a reminder that they weren’t together and wouldn’t so soon. Yes, that was cruel.

_Can I find him ?_

The idea sounded so good. It would be wonderful to close distance, one step after the other until he saw his soulmate and they ran to each other like that first time after the village. His soul cried for it. _I want…_ Again and again he remembered the moment he left Yi behind him, both of them shedding tears that belonged to no one but them. He guessed that was how the latter felt when he had to join the fights and leave him behind to recover. It hurt on a despicable level and the mere memory was enough to live that again.

The answer was still no. He couldn’t find him, not right now after the latest events. He was a wanted criminal – or that was what they thought – in no way he was safe. If he was to join Yi, he would put him at risk too. Between his own life and his soulmate’s, the choice was the easiest he had to do.

So he wouldn’t close distance, he wouldn’t run back to Yi no matter how bad he wanted to. No matter how cold the night was when he thought he heard the latter cry. It didn’t happen often, at least. He couldn’t bear to know he made Yi more sad.

_Does he even know ?_

There was no way to tell him that for now he was on the run. The last thing he told Yi was that he would come back to his village and sword school, to take his sanction. Now to say it had changed was an understatement. He couldn’t stay in one place, nowhere was safe and he was after a real ghost.

Turning the situation around, he supposed Yi had no idea what he was doing. Possibly he could jsut sense his long run, the distance put between them and nothing else. Now his mood was definitely fucked, he shouldn’t have thought about this. The latter would just feel him go away forever. _Stop, stop_. Neither needed this, life was already shitty enough.

In moments like these, at the brink of breaking again, he just held himself, hand over his mark and the other clutching at that poor souvenir he got. It wasn’t much but it still helped him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> following the plot~


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey  
i'm so dead, internet is the worst these days
> 
> thanks for reading!

_Where are you going ?_

Sometimes Yi wished the soulmate link could convey a few thoughts. It would be so useful, at least to communicate in silence or so far away from in each other. Dumb to think about it but really, he had nothing else to do.

Each day brought new distance between them and at that point, he had long stopped counting. It was too much. How did the link felt when they were in reach of each other ? He couldn’t properly remember, just that it didn’t ache like right now. Frail link, likely to break at the weakest breeze. It felt like there was a whole word between them and yet logic would tell that Yasuo was still in Ionia. On that scale, it was still rather close but for his heart, if he couldn’t see his soulmate directly then it was too far.

It had been more than a month since they wished each other good luck with a lot of emotion. One month and eleven days exactly because Yi kept counting that. He wouldn’t survive it otherwise. Day after day, night after night, counting each time the sun rose for a new day apart.

Distance had greatly increased since the change of direction. He still couldn’t understand why. Since he never truly moved from the fights, merely chasing Noxus till the coasts to push back the invasion, he wasn’t really on the move. So that new distance registered each day was Yasuo’s doing.

Depending on the day, it increased quickly or not. There was no logic in that.

The only thing Yi noticed was the direction. Little by little, when he happened to look faintly in the direction of his soulmate, it wasn’t exactly the same. Yasuo wasn’t going away from him, still moving but with another goal. So every time he wondered where he wanted to go. Why did he change from the plan ? Did something happen ? Anger was still low in the connection, though soothed gradually as time went.

It was the only good news. As much as distance hurt, the sting was reduced over time. It was still very painful, like living without a limb – even if technically it wasn’t the case – and being too aware of it. Something missing.

Now the direct burn of separation had started to scar a little. It was sensitive still but on the good path. Nights weren’t easy but so far Yi managed to do better.

After the initial shock from separation, the link was less painful. However it grew weak. The only reason he remembered it held was because Yasuo was still angry for the same reason in the latest month. Difficult to be bored when he could sense his soulmate in a murderous mood. _Don’t do anything stupid_. He wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. There were still things they didn’t know from each other, personal stories and other matters. So he didn’t know if the latter was legitimate in his anger. For holding on so long, it must have been a slight inconvinience.

The fights didn’t change. The landscape yes. Yi followed the trail of blood, like everyone else. The good things in Ionia was its habit of leaving close to nature, at least it made every small village or any sign of human life difficult to notice for any outsiders. Monasteries hidden in the mountains, towns concealed by trees and nature itself. This was a relief, nothing too obvious.

Sadly, against a furious beast charging into like Noxus did, it happened they were discovered. Or the known place directly targetted. Words ran about the Placidium of Navori and the attack, people of the region converging to that point of the fights. Yi wasn’t exactly close to it and he had more urgent to do than running accross the land to join a specific place. Unknown. Instead he followed anyone around, doing his part in the fights.

It felt like it would never end. Cut one noxian, ten more would approach ready to fight to death. So much blood over his blade and hands, he already wished it was over. What was the point of killing so many ? He remembered, always and that was the issue.

Sometimes Yi thought about simply quitting the fights. It was too much, to see and to do. He never wanted to kill, even in the intent of protecting the lands, but he did it nonetheless. If he had a choice, he would go away and find Yasuo. Join him, close distance little by little until the scars of separation would disappear. Maybe learn what happened, why the latter decided to go away.

The mere idea of holding him in his arms was worth the world. It didn’t hurt like at the beginning, there were no more mutual tears but instead he longed for his soulmate. His other half.

War was the least predictable thing in this world so he couldn’t plan anything. Maybe at some point Yasuo would finish by close distance and find him. Maybe he would be the one joining him. Anything could happen.

_Take care of you, love._

His last anchor in that new madness seizing Ionia.

~

Fury, loud cry in the bond. It actually surprised Yi again, to feel so much from the other side. _Something happened ?_

This time it wasn’t really painful, just plain anger rippling in the link like thunder. If he didn’t know better, Yi would have guessed that to be a tantrum or something of the sort. However, it had to be serious since he felt like strongly.

_Focus_.

He couldn’t pay attention to each change of emotion from Yasuo, not during the day. His own life depended on his awareness in the battlefield and he prefered not to test his reflex. Any mistake could be the last.

Yi returned to think about it later, away from the fights, hiding among vegetation. Why did he feel that, if it was only anger ? Something felt wrong but he couldn’t say what. Just a feeling. Focusing a little, that anger from the other side was somehow the same from the beginning but tinted with annoyance. That was new. And a bit childish. _Really, Yasuo_.

Without any element to know the situation, Yi could just guess from what he felt and it looked more and more like a trivial problem. At least, from Yasuo’s reactions. What could annoy someone to such point ? All that time he thought the link transmitted any serious emotion but if it gave also that kind of lesser concerns, Yi didn’t know what to do. _Well, I hope it’s not too serious._

In any case, it felt like the first days since Yasuo changed direction. Low anger, rising suddenly without reason.

_Really, what’s happening ?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, for now it's story time!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! late update but at last i got internet xD
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_I knew it…_

Sooner or later someone would find him, it was just a matter of time. Now that first someone was lying on the ground dead. Really, Yasuo hated to be forced to this but he had no other choice. Either he let himself be captured and sentenced to death for something he didn’t do or he fought back anyone trying to stop him. This wasn’t his choice but the culprit was running somewhere and wouldn’t be brought to justice if he died. No one else knew about this and no one else would believe him. Except his mother and maybe Yone.

Thinking of his brother, a shiver ran his spine. Really he hoped Yone would understand him, because otherwise this wasn’t going to end well. In the best case, his brother would stay at the sword school if he came back from the war and he wouldn’t move to go after him. Yasuo didn’t want to think about the worst case. Really.

For now he focused on that deep annoyance and serious resentment for his act. He was cleaning his blade quickly and thought about what he could do at the moment. He had a damned corpse in charge and no idea what was the smartest thing to do. Honor would still require him to give proper funerals or at least some respect but did he had any for someone that insulted and tried to kill him based on false accusations ? _No_. That was the angry part, really pissed to have to pay some respect for someone that wanted him dead.

That man was dead, small pool of blood under him after that deadly duel. They were in the middle of nowhere, far enough for him not to know the land anymore. Nature looked a bit different, some curious creature walked lived around. The only good thing was that there was no one here except him and this stupid soul looking for the wrong person.

_Alright, what can I do ?_

The most practical would be to simply leave that corpse behind. It didn’t help him and probably he had other warriors going after him. Long sigh. The sun was about to set, leaving him with little light to go on his search. Staying discreet was important though.

The other solution would be to take that man with him and leave the body near a road. There weren’t a lot of roads but it was a certain guaranty that someone would find this poor guy and give a proper funeral. Yasuo hated having to think about all this, he had far better to do and simply not once he thought about having to decide whether leave a corpse in wild nature or not. No doubt some creatures would enjoy fresh meat but the idea didn’t sit well with him. Honor, again. Sometimes it wasn’t fun to follow but self-discipline required it.

_Fuck this_.

Maybe he still had enough day time to reach a road and drop that burden to be found. Reluctantly Yasuo went and carried the corpse. Really unpleasant, he tried to ignore the fact that the man was dead. Soon he would be able to forget about it or at least hope for it. _I hate it_. It was heavy, it slowed him down and overall he didn’t want to have any kind of mercy for someone who thought to bring justice but deeply just wanted to see him dead. This was a pretext for everyone, including the ones that never liked him or felt jealous.

This was going to the pile of his crimes. The first. Was it really a crime to take down whoever tried to obstacle justice ? He didn’t know if that counted and anyway, Yasuo was far too aware that for everyone at the village, he killed someone else in cold blood, to escape the ‘truth’.

So to say he had many good reasons to stay angry, innerly grumbling after these idiots whom jumped to fast on a conclusion. This wouldn’t have happened if they even listened to him and admitted he might be telling the truth. But no, they fed their poisonous accusations to everyone and now he was probably going to kill several warriors he knew just because they couldn’t forget their pride one second.

Day declined little by little. The good thing was that he still had some luck, beside this funest encounter earlier. There was a road down the hill, amidst the trees and peculiar vegetation of this area. Not just a small path used once a year, no. It was quite old and obviously many people had passed there. Good for him, the body would be found.

Letting his burden down, Yasuo was quick to go away. He was aware this was probably some dumb mistake to leave an obvious clue of his passage but again, honor was harsh to follow. It led him to find the culprit, he couldn’t pick only the good sides.

Now anyone on his tracks would know he went there. Not difficult to notice a dead body, and furthermore the dead body of a warrior, weapons to prove it. For someone familiar with it, that man’s clothes and armor could be quite recognizable. They would know, Yasuo was there and he slayed ‘another’ person.

_I don’t care_. He had done his task, now he could run away at the favor of the night. It was always quite bothersome and difficult but any kind of distance between him and his pursuers was welcome. May they need the night to sleep.

Anger was a good source of motivation. Spite too, because despite everything he was still quite glad to go on and survive at the face of everyone wishing him dead. He wouldn’t die, not today, not tomorrow. Not before finding Yi again.

_My darling…_

It made him sigh again, thoughts able to wander as he physically did the same in this darkening land. So long since they had parted and not once it got better. Now pain was a bit reduced thanks to time but he still longed to find his soulmate. Their link didn’t say much about the latter, there was no deep sadness at night. Yasuo guessed that it was good, that probably nothing bad happened to Yi and so he hadn’t a lot of issues to deal with. Except the war.

Not very suprisingly, their connection was more than calm. He didn’t feel much from him. The contrary would have concerned him. Yi was always quite calm and except the few breakings at night after their separation, the link was continious peace. So far from the deep anger for their first and unique argument.

Peace was good. It would have worried him if he heard about the latter. On the other hand Yasuo was a bit unhappy with himself for reacting like this. Without a doubt Yi felt from him in their link and it could mean nothing and everything. Hot blooded indeed and it meant feeling a lot. This was still to check on when they would meet again. If they did. Now nothing was sure.

_It will be fine_. A bit of optimism wouldn’t hurt. That was all Yasuo had, his soulmate and the hope to be reunited one day.

It was in this intent that he carried on, fleeing forward in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't wait to kill yone (no)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
tiny update!!
> 
> thanks for reading!

Time fled, just like his soulmate and there was nothing Yi could do to stop. It just went and he stayed there, a silent spectator to the horrors of war and changing distance between him and Yasuo.

Many many months had passed and now it felt like it would never stop. An endless run. Infinite distance between them. Solitude. It wasn’t that bad because in a way, Yi knew he wasn’t completely alone. This had stopped the day he met Yasuo and they fully recognized each other. Since then, they would still be with each other, no matter how far away they were. He clung to that link, for his own sanity during war time.

Everything was ugly, too much death, too much blood and the slowly convincing despair that it wouldn’t end. He had still a reason to stay alive, so he wouldn’t give up so soon but to see that much every day, he was close to his limit. Easy to say and think but he still stayed, losing hope little by little. To actually go away seemed more difficult than whatever routine he followed these months.

Yi sometimes thought about it, about going after the latter and finding a bit of peace. However, he couldn’t. He had no idea how far Yasuo was, this was a just a small instinct. Plus, could he truly leave the fights ? No one would really notice but he had killed so many, how could he chose to stop now before the end.

By now, running among trees and unfamiliar land, he was more lost than ever. No one ever told him of the cruelty of war and it was rather normal, he wasn’t supposed to leave the village. Now he faced life, for what it meant in bloodshed and hollow glances when he found allies.

Everyone seemed to feel the same, exhausted by a war that had nothing to do in these lands. It wasn’t meant to happen, none of them knew one day their arcanes and skill would be used to such low purpose. The intention was good but the price was high.

_Wuju wasn’t made for this._

It haunted him lowly but surely, a voice at the back of his mind when he came to cut down yet another noxian. It was about balance and harmony. Yi doubted killing as many people without any chance to match him was linked to harmony. Whatever the goal, it was still red when it was shed.

At his return they would be so mad to see what he did, no matter if it helped saving the First Lands or not. Yi already felt guilty, having used such noble weapon to bring death. Maybe the hell he lived since he left was the early punishment for his decision. It was too late to go back on that, no need to push these thoughts. Also, he didn’t regret it. There was still a small spark of hope amidst this mess of screams, blood and rain.

_Yasuo…_

He wouldn’t have found him without this hateful invasion. Bad things came with great things, to balance. Maybe if he had chosen to stay quietly home, destiny would have found another way to reunite them. If not, it wasn’t a matter. Again, he had taken his decision and it brought him equal pain and love.

Yi would keep going for him. There were several reasons not to die but he specifically wanted not to cause any pain to the latter. A soulmate link could only make it worse for the other side and he wasn’t ready to let this befall them. When it was difficult, he thought about the day they would see each other. To simply hold Yasuo in his arms would be such a relief and luxury, now that he had been deprived of it. _Hold on, just a little longer_.

Ther was a reason to stay up and fight, a reason to keep himself functioning and rest sometimes because this was what Yasuo would want him to do. Not hurt himself by lack of attention. During such difficult time, it was so easy to completely stop paying attention to his basic needs. It was dangerous, he knew it, maybe at some point his body would give up before his spirit could. So he paid attention, took the minimum of rest and food. It was common sense, that way he would be able to help anyone. _I won’t die_. This was as much for himself than the others.

Time wasn’t gentle on him but it did help in its own ways. The link didn’t hurt anymore, not healed but rather a limb which lost any sensation. It didn’t happen often that he felt from the other side and he didn’t know if that was some good news or not. When he could feel Yasuo’s violent bursts of emotions, he was so glad. No matter the reason, it was a sign of life and will to fight. Even if most of time it was anger and annoyance.

Yi still worried for the latter but with time he repeated himself Yasuo was more than skilled, he would survive jsut right. And since he seemed more busy pissed about whatever reason, he might not be in direct danger. A good thing to know.

Each small detail counted, so matter how vain it could seem. He wasn’t alone, Yasuo was still alive somewhere and angry for whatever reason. There was still some progress in the war, no matter the losses on both sides. Ionia was merely waking up from this shock and soon it would give the last effort to push away Noxus.

All he had to do was wait, hold on before despair would get him completely. Try not to become mad, this was probably what Noxus wanted. Survive, no matter the cost. Maybe one day he would be granted the possibility to forget and start anew, leaving behind this dead land.

Yet when night arrived, it wasn’t just the landscape that became dark. His heart bled for this nation, for its people, for his far love soon enough for his lost innocence. Would he still be able to recognize himself, looking in a mirror ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess it's obvious it's not the most interesting time, i'm mostly trying to fill in the gaps because in the chronology, the war is fucking long!  
it will change soon tho


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
sooooooooo i'm changing the rating but i don't even know if it's worth it xD
> 
> thanks for reading!!

Seasons went one after the other, merely the time to notice it than snow had already covered the land. It didn’t make Yasuo’s life easier but it also reminded him that time went. Always. With snow it would be a bit more difficult for him to avoid his pursuers.

By now it would almost make a full year since he and Yi met, since he joined the fights to prove his worth. All seemed to go fast but each day was a victory for him, he was still alive and standing. So far his enemies had failed to bring him down and cheered for it with strong alcohol when he could find some.

The run was difficult, unknown lands that sometimes were quite dangerous for someone not used to it. He was still ionian so he wouldn’t ever be completely lost. Sometimes he met a few people that helped him, even though he tended to avoid that just in case. No need to cause any harm or bad luck to folks being decent with a traveler. Plus the war was still going on and people had given a lot to protect the land, they couldn’t offer more to some exiled guy.

_It’s alright_.

He could go on, no matter what. Sometimes he relied on hospitality but otherwise he would be just fine. Winter was harsh though. It was a lot easier to spot someone running in the hills, especially because of what he wore. Not that he was cold but he might be seen from afar. On the other side, he could see them coming.

As result, there were some fights in the snow, white stained with red by the end. So to say it wasn’t helping his case to leave someone in a pool of blood in a valley. Several times he simply chose to run as fast as he could, to put as much distance as possible.

They always found him. After all this time he had started to be less pissed off when it happened, more bored for being sloppy. The issue wasn’t important since he would survive but it was still quite bothering to be found by another one of the sword school, so ready to bring ‘justice’. It always ended the same way, another corpse left behind and the same amount of no guilt. By now Yasuo didn’t feel bad about it, they deserved it. Even in the view of what they could blame on him, he couldn’t care less. His mission wasn’t over yet.

This was the down side of all these months spent in his own company. He hadn’t found the culprit yet. If on rare occasions he had small clues, it quickly became a dead end. Literally chasing a ghost. It became difficult sometimes because he ran into noxian forces without knowing it. When it was the case, he could just get out as soon as possible. He wasn’t dumb, if he was to try and fight them, he would be crushed by the number. No amount of arrogance could lead him to this. Instead he focused on his duty and that damned murdered.

Sometimes he wondered if he was going mad. No one knew what happened, no one ever saw this person and everything pointed to him as culprit. _Not mad, not mad…_ He feared the day it would bring him down. He hadn’t committed this crime, he respected Elder Souma like no one else in this school. Solitude wasn’t very nice to him, questionning his goal.

Still, he couldn’t give up. Many warriors had died for this, he wouldn’t let this go to waste. The culprit would be found and brought to be judged rightfully. He would recover his honor as well. He would find his soulmate at last.

With all this time fleeing, Yasuo still could think about the latter. It was his salvation, the reason to keep going. If he succeeded, he would see Yi again and they would finally be able to stay together. Now wasn’t the right time, he was considered a criminal and he would just bring troubles to someone that bore enough.

At night he thought about him, trying to face Yi’s direction for the small comfort given. He swore sometimes they were truly facing each other and his heart skipped a beat. Happiness of a mere move. Maybe it was fake but he wanted to believe. A soulmate bond could hide many secrets and they hadn’t been able to discover everything in their short time together.

Anyway, his soulmate seemed to be alright, at least emotionally. The link didn’t betray much about his feelings, calm as always. Only a few spikes of sadness or fight fury but it remained quite low, barely rippling in the bond. _Good_. He was glad to know Yi was alright. This heart beated only for him and sometimes Yasuo came to daydream about finding him again. Contact, touch and soft words.

A few times his thoughts slipped a little and it brought him to a more pleasant side of their love. He could still dream, this was all he had till they met again. No regrets for indulging so shortly. Plus a man had needs, time couldn’t eraze that. So a few times he let go, only when he was sure he had found a safe enough place. Give a few thoughts to his lover, for the sweetness of a moment.

Oh really he yearned to find Yi again. In their short time before, probably it wouldn’t have been so good to rush and share this kind of things but right now, after such time apart, it seemed amazing. Just another reason to wish for this mess to end. No more war and no more injustice.

Sadly, it wasn’t so easy. Days still went one after the other and without feeling it winter went. There was literally nothing to mark this passing except his unlucky encounters with people really eager to slay him. Another month, another body, another day ruined.

There was still something that he noticed. One day, Yi was hurt. Not physically because he had no way to know that. Could pain even be shared through their link ? Unless it was death, he doubted they could know. Anyway, one day, he could feel Yi’s pain. It was enough to bubble up at the surface yet not too strong. Like a small jab that hurt on the instant.

As soon Yasuo wondered what happened. It quickly meddled with sadness and that made him panick all alone, scared for his soulmate. _Something happened ?_

It stayed for the whole day, like a sour taste. It didn’t go away before a few days and even then it could be felt. It was so strange, unlike Yi’s sadness for their separation and solitude. Then what was that ? It didn’t seem too severe, maybe he witnessed something horrible.

_Yi ? What’s wrong ?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soon...


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
another update in time!
> 
> thanks for reading <3

_May you find peace now_.

A few words for a soul gone too early. Really, Yi had no idea what else he could do.

Days ago he had found someone he knew, someone from the village. Sadly, this young man was already dead when he came accross his bloody body in the areas of the fights. Yi felt greatly sad since then.

He had literally no idea any of his peers would follow his path. They had maybe talked and shared how it was difficult to stay at the village when war had long been known. They were about a dozen of kids ready to go outside and fight, trained through Wuju and willing to protect the land. Not exactly kids but they were still young, barely adults and surely the new generation that refused to stay in isolation.

Not once Yi had considered taking any of them with him. This was his own decision and he refused to risk anyone’s life besides his own. Surely it wasn’t smart to think they would stay back after his departure. Indeed now he had the proof at least one had decided to follow and join the fights. Only to find death.

It hurt a lot, more than the death of any other ionian fellow in this war. He knew him, they all grew up at the village and trained together. His death wasn’t directly because of him but Yi felt like his blood stained his hands all the same. Had he chosen to stay back and respect the elders’ decision, would they all be alive ?

Were there more of them that had chosen to leave ?

Possibly yes, since they all had this feeling of injustice from watching the smoke coming up down the mountain. They knew how to fight and there were enemies outside. What else to ask ?

Now Yi would wonder how many wandered like him from fight to fight. How many had died already.

Heart heavy with regrets and guilt, he had taken away the body of his friend to pay a last hommage and give funerals. It wasn’t perfect, he had so little time and no ways to properly follow their traditions but he still made it. In no way he would have been able to take him back to the village for a decent burrial.

So here, far from their home, he gave a few last words to a man gone too young. It could have been any of them and it broke his heart. Simple grave, marked by a pile of stones and weapon planted right there for the fallen. It would do, even if Yi wished he could have given something better. Hopefully his friend’s rest wouldn’t be disturbed there, he had made sure of it.

To walk away was so difficult, hit by guilt. None of this should have happened. For all this time he had thought about quitting the sights, now it was too strong. What was the point ? How many of them remained ? In the worst case they had all left and died somewhere in Ionia. Yi didn’t want to think about this possibility. The only way to know would be to return to the village and wait.

_Maybe I should_.

Before he already regretted his decision because of the toll on his parents and the village in general but now he had another reason to feel bad on this. Someone had died following his steps. They may not have all followed his example, after all everyone felt it was unfair to be isolated, but Yi was the first to run to the fights. Surely it convinced the rest to do the same. _My fault_.

~

So it was rather normal that he carried this horrible mood for a certain time. It could slowly heal the burn but it took too long to even be felt. At night he thought about it and it even came up in a nightmare, about close friends dying in snow fields, alone. Yi’s daily life wasn’t exactly good before but that was the last straw. He could bear any of this anymore.

_I have to go back._

Leave the war behind, like the elders had said before. Not that it wasn’t of his concerns but he had given so much, to continue would kill him slowly. He saw death at every corner, he saw blood tainting these harmonious lands, he saw despair. And he found love.

That was the only positive side, really. Yi had no idea how long he would have last without his soulmate. They would never know. However it was also the reason why he doubted this decision of leaving the fights. He had no idea where Yasuo was and if he was still fighting on his side.

In lack of information, Yi would still return back home. He knew it was going to take a lot of time, since his departure he had crossed so much distance. How long ? No idea. He wasn’t counting since he had left the village, he wouldn’t count now.

It was harsh but he had to. He was aware that if everyone followed his state of mind then Noxus would win easily but he had given so much already. The village would still need help one day, because Bahrl was already invaded back then and sooner or later they would find it.

Before that Yi would have to endure punishment though and this was probably what made him a bit anxious. This wasn’t going to be nice on him, on the opposite. He couldn’t remember a time he had done such a bad thing. All this time he had been considered a respectful kid and now no doubt he was doomed. The worst would be if they chose to stop him from seeing Yasuo. Yi knew it, at some point this would clash and he wasn’t ready. To return to the village risked to make it difficult for them but his duty still stood, he would go.

There was no perfect solution. In any case he would remain unhappy since in no way he could join his soulmate yet. Life was cruel and it made the war last. Yi had no idea when it actually started because the village was so far but it might be almost three years. One year since he had last seen Yasuo.

_Take care, love_. His last ray of hope in this hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> naw, it's not the village yet :P enjoy the time before angst, all will get painful soon enough


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
at last internet, let's post this!!
> 
> thanks for reading <3

_Yi ?_

Quiet calls in their connection as Yasuo tried again and again, hoping for an answer. Probably this was bullshit he made up all alone but honestly it would have been so good if they could communicate that way. Sadly, it was the case, no matter how many times he tried.

The reason he called gently for his soulmate was because he was lost. There were signs that came with their link, like the distance put between them. So far it had stretched and reduced on occasion, depending on his own moves. Because Yi never really went far, surely following Noxus. Yet now there was new distance and the whole thing was different.

_He’s going away_. This was how Yasuo felt it. It wasn’t like before because when himself put distance between them, it wasn’t so painful anymore. But now it hurt.

At first he didn’t notice because again, they were still able to move and go, this was war time. However, after a few days, Yasuo could tell the latter was definitely taking a specific direction, the opposite of the previous. Himself was far in the northern regions of the First Lands, it helped a little to situate where they were at the moment. So when he noticed the clear distance put between them in a similar way than when he left Yi, it hit home.

Yi was going south, if he was correct. Far too fast to be about an imminent battle against Noxus because he never stopped except at night.

_Where are you going ?_

Asking was useless, he would never know unless they met soon and this was the last thing that would happen given their respective situations. Yasuo was pursued like a criminal and Yi was almost running south. Facing opposites directions.

His heart ached to sense that distance but it was only fair. All this time he had been running back home after their separation, he had inflicted the same to Yi. In the end neither could be blamed, this was simply war fucking with everyone here.

Time went on, days followed and except another hateful ‘visit’ from a warrior of the school sword, Yasuo had nothing else to think about. His soulmate was going away, little by little, step by step. Surely after such quiet time it was difficult, he had almost forgotten the initial pain of separation. Right now he experienced it again, like a ghost haunting him. He didn’t need that, he had already enough to deal with like these idiots trying to kill him for justice. However to blame Yi was cruel and stupid, it wasn’t his fault.

Right there, lost in far less familiar land, Yasuo’s mood didn’t get better. At least he sensed that Yi’s pain was reduced, barely a drop in the ocean that was their link. Almost nothing could break its peace, still, breathing slowly on a quiet day, sun hidden by the clouds of war. They needed this peace.

No idea about the latter but for Yasuo this link was still good. It helped him, he knew there was no real troubles on both sides – even if he was in deep shit because of his ‘crime’ but whatever. _Does he feel it ?_ He would wonder silently in his evenings, safely hidden in some high place in nature, with his flask as only company. What did Yi feel in their link ? Could he sense his smallest rush of anger or annoyance when he was forced into a duel ? Was it the opposite, an quiet breeze on a summer day, what Yi made him feel ? The latter wasn’t one to show too much and lose himself to useless rush like him. Except for that time when they clashed about Yasuo’s health, there was no waves, no rain, no threatening clouds. Either the link dampened everything for them or Yi was the most chill person he ever met, which was highly possible.

There was one time though. An occasion that shook Yasuo’s beliefs about the link. One night, rather late, when he noticed Yi was resting too because he wasn’t moving at the moment, something came up in their link. Not sadness or pain, quite the opposite. It was pleasure. It didn’t last, barely a few seconds but it shook their connection quite violently, like a burst of colors.

At first it left him dazzed, disbelieving about what just happened and unsure if he dreamed that or not. But no, it was indeed an echo from Yi’s side. Then everything made sense, fluster slapping him with as much strenght. Pleasure went through their connection. What had just happened was Yi’s part. In no time Yasuo got so ashamed of himself because just before he had been about the same thing, keeping sweet thoughts about his dear soulmate. Only he wasn’t aware that this would be translated to the other side of the link. _That was so dumb, fuck_.

So it meant that a few times before, each time he enjoyed himself in solitude, Yi was aware of it. Truly an unexpected side of a soulmate bond. That night, Yasuo had some troubles to keep his mind off this topic because he had been so stupid. He should have tought about that side effect.

On the other hand, he couldn’t forget what he felt from the other side. Technically he didn’t feel pleasure, not at all, but he felt how good the latter was at the moment. Without a doubt he had cause that himself, being a bit horny sometimes.

_Maybe one day… _

To have sex would be good, he never doubted that. The real question was when they would be given an opportunity. Distance right now was clear, no chance to see each other soon. Yasuo still let these dear thoughts develop quietly, thoughts about their reunion and more if if possible. He wanted so much and Yi was simply not here.

Even a kiss would be good.

~

Weeks had gone since the new change of direct and Yi’s new destination. Since then, Yasuo hadn’t felt any change in the plans, if it could be called as such. The latter was still on the move, further south. To the point where he wondered if Yi was going back home.

It might be, because reasons and events could happen. Yasuo still remembered the flash of pain for a few days that rhythmed his soulmate’s life. After that the change had happened so it could be linked.

Like always, he wouldn’t no what was really happening. He was too far. At least one of them wasn’t stuck in a shitty situation, that was good to know.

On Yasuo’s side, there was nothing new. Just awful solitude, no clues about the direction to chose and even less about the killer. He might as well question each single person he met.

Days looked the same, spring was blooming out there yet he didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe homesick, because he was too far from everything he had always known. Far from his soulmate. A few times he thought about heading south, like Yi. Maybe he would be able to randomly run into his village or at least to get closer to his own home. Right there it was slowly getting on his nerves to find nothing but blood and solitude. Returning closer to his hometown would be irrational but he wasn’t feeling so well.

What was the point of all this ?

The answer came quickly, a few days later when the next ‘fool’ arrived to bring him to justice. Except this was the least person he wanted to see in this world.

_Yone… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what? rito did it first


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
it's time...
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_How long until the sea ?_

Yi didn’t know, this wasn’t exactly the land he grew up in nor his island of birth. Even once he would get to Bahrl it was going to take a long time before he reached the mountains and nature he was at last familiar with. Till then, he had to walk and run, be patient and stealthy. It would be stupid to run into noxian forces randomly, for their moves were difficult to predict.

So far he had already covered a certain distance, it wasn’t that bad. On purpose or not Yi ended up crossing lands he had already seen, stopping quickly by a few monasteries or villages visited before. It really stung to see a few places and landscapes filled with memories of a year ago, when he had company. Melancholia was harsh to make him miss a time when war raged exactly like now, without interruption. Yet despite the constant tension of the fights, there was still happiness and love found. Love that made Yi’s heart ache when he had to go south and barely spare a glance to the place he had last seen Yasuo.

_Focus_.

No need to live in the past, what mattered was present day to ensure they would see each other in the future. Which in his particular case couldn’t be assured because Yi was heading back to his village and only the gods knew what his people would do to him at his return. The only thing he was certain about it was that he would suffer greatly. In no way he would get away with that decision.

Another sigh broke out of him as he gave a last glance to this scenery that colored his loving memories. This was something Noxus wouldn’t be able to touch and destroy. Yi would cherish it forever. These nights spent sharing warmth and presence, these difficult mornings trying not to get killed. This beautiful feeling of at last finding his soulmate.

To move forward felt like he was leaving all this behind, even as he knew it wasn’t the case. He wouldn’t forget, he wasn’t trying to. What he was doing was to keep his mind at peace and ensure the safety of the village. Then he would find a way to join Yasuo, no matter what.

Plus it wasn’t so bad. Somewhere his soulmate was doing well, more than that considering the echoes at night. It didn’t happen often but it was still good to know that Yasuo wasn’t at his worst if he was still able to find some sweet time.

A soft blush colored Yi’s cheeks at the mere thought of that one time. He didn’t mean to but after these few occasions of feeling his soulmate having fun on his own, he indulged so shortly. That time he felt so ashamed of himself because he knew Yasuo would have an echo of it through their link. Easy to blame the latter but it was his part to actually do it too. _We’re a bit too desperate_. At least they were both, it wouldn’t shock any of them.

Except that his return home wasn’t that interesting. Sometimes he found a few noxian soldiers lost in that hellish environment that they couldn’t understand and these times new bodies joined the number of deads of this useless war.

Sometimes, for a change, he found other fellow ionians that would first be wary of any stranger but soon enough Yi was recognized as child of the First Lands too. No need to kill each other in times like these. Though the different regions of Ionia often made it difficult to recognize people from afar, there were slight variations and nuances. For his case, no one knew about his village and that was normal so he was understanding when people failed to identify his armor and weapon. Anyway, he was a just a lost soul among many, bound to no one but a man that was too far in the North. No one could question him.

_No pause. I have to move_. Then maybe he would rest a little and think about what he could do next.

~

_What_.

Something was wrong. Really wrong. It made Yi stop in his tracks without reason, not even thinking about it. There, frozen in the middle of nowhere on his journey back home.

_What is that ?_

Fear struck him, out of nowhere, making him turn around in distress to look for a threat. There was nothing but this alarming horror seizing his being, making his instinct of survival kick in. _Where is it ??_

Nothing happened but the fear remained. Strong, vicious. Fear that refused to go and made his heart race. There was something to fear and Yi didn’t know what it was.

It increased as time went. A few minutes went by, each second going like ice in his veins.

A breath. Then everything crashed down.

_What is that ??_

A scream rang in his mind, turning into a cry. It didn’t end before a long time, dying little by little. A cry that shook Yi as he turned around in panick to find the source. Again there was no one here, just him and nature till next hills and valleys and the cry didn’t stop.

Pain. Sadness. Anger. Many things struck him at once, leaving him shocked for a time as if out of breath. Then he felt it. The link. All came from the link and it burned, throbbing like an open wound. It hurt so bad that he could feel it himself.

_Yasuo ?? _

It took Yi some time to realize tears had blurred his vision, falling without restrain. _Oh…_ All this going on, for a time he thought that his own body had an issue, ill or hurt. But no, all came from his soulmate, everything from the tears to the constant cry in his mind. It never stopped. Pain radiated in the link and Yi felt a start of distress against such development. 

_What’s happening ? Yasuo ?_

It had him sit on the ground before his body would just shut down from the sudden assault of emotions in their connection. Not once it had given as much, this was sickly horrifying. Never Yi had felt that much from the other side and it made him so worried, more than the tears that streamed down his face in disbelief. His love was hurt in a way he had never seen or felt before.

Yet he was sure Yasuo was alive. This was one of the things he deeply feared as reflex, to feel his soulmate’s death. It would be the worst thing to ever happen to him. However after thinking – with some difficulties because the pain enevr stopped – Yi realized it couldn’t be that, he knew the latter to give not much to his own end. At least not to that level. No, something happened and it broke both their hearts. 

The cry was still here, torturous lament that seemed to go on forever. This was another level of pain.  _ Yasuo ? _ The thing with the connection was that there was no voices, nothing particular to characterize their soulmates. There was a cry but it didn’t have the warmth of Yasuo’s voice. It was pain as a sound, thrumming in their link. 

Soon it became sobs, whispers low like wind threatening to become a storm. It was frightening to see, sadness taking over with an attempt at fury to mask it yet it was useless. Pain, so much pain.

_What happened ? Someone hurt you ? _

Talking into their connection never changed anything, this was useless yet Yi still tried.

_Please, I need to know…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouch  
now be ready for Yasuo's POV cuz it won't be pretty


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyyyyyy  
i'm sorry
> 
> but thanks for reading!! enjoy some angst :p

_Stay back, go away… _

Yasuo wished he could scream that to his brother, to tell him to turn away and go back to their vilalge. There was nothing to find here but a sad end. Yet honor kept him from, even as it cut his heart deeper for each step Yone took in his direction since he first spotted him nearby.

_Please, go…._

Neither could walk away from that. Fear was too strong, the crushing tension of knowing what was going to happen. From the second Yasuo had broken out of this sad room used as jail in the sword school, he deeply knew it would happen. His brother would come for him and there would be no happy ending for them.

No way to run away. It would be such hypocritical move. All this time taking down anyone that wanted to stop him from finding the culprit, only to flee at the first person that mattered ? It would only convince his brother further. Did he truly believe these lies ?

Standing there, in that end of afternoon, not a single breeze to soothe this suffocating atmosphere. Yasuo could just watch him come closer, frozen on the spot in one these damned valleys that made it so easy to find him. Hand on the hilt of his blade, for he knew this was the only way. No words could get him out of this mess.

_Why did he come… ?_

His dear brother, coming to slay him. The gods had a sick sense of humor. Step by step distance was closed and fear became slow horror. Probably it showed on his face but as they said, he was never good at hiding his emotions.

No use in arguments, facts and possibles lies. What did they even tell his brother ? That he killed Elder Souma ? There was no proof against and for it, a completely even case. They surely accused him because he was hated by half the community and he was gone at the moment. But could he explain that to Yone ? No doubt he had been fed their lies and now nothing could change it. If Yasuo tried to change his mind it would show he was in the wrong and seeking to escape. He was many things but surely not a coward.

Oh how could he hate so much to see his own brother ? Now they could clearly see each other, face to face. Many things struck Yasuo and none of it was good. Yone looked tired, at least as much as him and there was no happiness in that gaze. Eyes that saw too much. Neither seemed ready to accept this moment, reluctance so obvious in both their presences.

A lot of bitterness and anger came up, at the limit of breaking free. How could they be pushed to that ? The only family Yasuo ever had and now they tried to took that from him.

The latter came to a stop at respectable distance, silence ruling the area. So heavy silence, it might have been another world.

_Go away…_

« Yone… » When was the last time he adressed his brother ? It seemed to long ago, Yasuo couldn’t remember. Now his voice betrayed the many emotions he had, a bit of despair for this terrible situation.

Yone shook his head no, grief so slightly hinted in his expression. Then his stance moved for a duel, hands on hilt and sheath as he seemed to steele his expression with determination. That was all it took ot break Yasuo’s heart.

Honor pushed them both to do it, they couldn’t escape. It urged Yone to slay the culprit that fled a murder, it forced Yasuo to take down any obstacle between him and truth. Life was unfair, so much unfair for two brothers that already suffered the worst in this world.

Yasuo did the same, mirroring his brother’s stance. _Please no…_ Deeply he knew who would win. It had been a long time since he was able to best his brother and now the outcome of a lethal duel seemed already settled.

A perfect circle, slow moves as they got ready for the end.

_Don’t…_

May justice be swift and impartial.

_No no no no…._

A reflex. Both ran to cut the other down but only one blade found the way. A single flash of steel, bitting through flesh, and it was done. As simple as that. It hadn’t been as easy than against his previous opponents but there was no match. Yasuo heard Yone fall before he could even turn to face him. Barely a gasp.

_NO_

Justice was served.

As quick he dropped his blade and rushed to join his brother on the ground. It hurt so much and Yasuo couldn’t realize yet the extent of his actions. It was over, both knew it. No way to recover of such a wound. He held Yone as he could, already feeling life slipping away when he searched his gaze.

« No no no…Yone, please… » How could he do that ? Blood poured freely, along his first tears for witnessing the consequences. It stained his hand when he tried to press and cover the wound, uselessly.

It was too late. Nothing could change this. There was still a sort of struggle, some life in Yone’s gaze when he managed to find him. The weakest grasp over Yasuo to keep him close. A few choked breaths, obviously it hurt even to pretend.

« Yasuo… » So familiar voice yet so foreign tone.

Time was running out, blade cutting everything until there was nothing left unhurt. Yasuo only held him closer, clinging to him as he would to life itself. He never meant to hurt family and yet here he was, blood staining his clothes. His brother’s blood.

« W-Why… ? Why did you come… ? I never killed Elder Souma…Please forgive me… » It hurt even in his voice, at the limit of breaking between two sobs. Shakily he tried to soothe the harm and it wouldn’t work, no matter how much he tried.

« It was…it was a wind technique—that killed him…only you could have done it… » Such effort to speak in the last instants. That same voice that gave hima dvices when they were boys, that defended him when no one else would. That now accused him of the first crime.

« No ! Never ! Please, Yone, I’d never do that… » Tears fell forever, as if it could wash away the raw violence he just committed. Nothing could excuse that.

That gaze told many things, despite the veil of death approaching definitely. It could be trust and acceptance of Yasuo’s truth, it could be sadness for this whole mess. Yone seemed about to speak, gathering his last strenghts but nothing came out but a soft exhale and his gaze went still.

« Yone, no… Ahhh… » He shook him gently, as if it would keep life for a bit longer.

No matter his efforts, the spark of life was gone and Yasuo’s world crashed down. _Ah… Ahhhhhh…_ His own brother, slayed by his hand just because of honor. Blood stained his hands as he clung to Yone, reality tearing his heart apart.

Between sobs and pleas, pain became too much. Blinding, unbearable. A cry got ripped from him and it couldn’t even translate the wreck going on his mind.

Yone was gone. Because of him. For now Yasuo cried his loss and crime. No honor or justice would bring him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually that's the first time i kill yone and damnit it made me cry a little


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
small update to keep all that moving!
> 
> thanks for reading!

_Awful_.

A few days had passed and nothing had really changed. It was always the same pain, always the same cry lasting in their link without a pause. So to say it left Yi more than worried, this was the worst they ever felt since they had found each other.

_He’s hurt…_

Obviously. Usually he could feel rather well any emotions that Yasuo experienced but this was on another level. His pain was so tangible, incredibly deep. It felt like there would be no end to that.

From time to time it fluctuated yet not once it got low enough to be forgotten. It could be like an open wound with barely nothing to help it close and scar. Yi was scared. A few times it increased again, to the point when it made him cry again. These weren’t his tears, these were Yasuo’s and it hurt his heart all the same. Constant sobbing at the back of his mind.

Would that even end ?

It had to be serious, his soulmate wouldn’t go like this for nothing. Already before that tragic moment, Yasuo was rather emotional, between anger and solitude, sadness and annoyance. Now it was pain and it flooded continuously their link. It had overwhelmed both of them the first day, without any solution to soothe the harm done.

Surely his situation was the best between the two but Yi thought the worst for him was to stay in ignorance. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. A silent spectator to his soulmate’s pain.

It was quite tempting to just walk back and try to find Yasuo. Indeed this reflex had first happened when fear hit and then pain, unconcious move toward the latter. Yi felt the need sometimes, as if the link was trying to have them back together for it wasn’t able to bear so much distance and pain. However he couldn’t follow that. _I must continue._ He had long broken the rules and fled to the fights, now it was time to go back home and endure the punishment. Yet it still hurt because Yi knew there was nothing good waiting for him there, even the perspective of seeing his own family gave a sour taste because he was aware they would try to keep them apart after his return.

So to say, it was difficult to put more distance between them. Even more because he registered that he was the only one adding distance, Yasuo didn’t seem to be moving. Maybe just a little but it was clear he wasn’t travelling like he did before. It only fueled Yi’s imagination and hypothesis about what happened.

Consciously or not it reminded him of the time when he first got down the mountains to fight Noxus. Destroyed villages, corpses in the streets and houses, fire burning what it could. A pure scene of horror. Yi wondered if the latter had tumbled on something similar. He didn’t know exactly how his soulmate would react to such a thing, this was still a massacre and every day they had given death in equal amount than Noxus, minus the cruelty. Yet it wasn’t the same thing to run into a dead village splattered with blood and to take down as many nameless enemies as they could during the war.

Maybe it was something else but Yi was rather sure it was something linked to the war and Noxus. To inflict such pain it couldn’t be something vain. So this explained his hypothesis about finding out whatever way about another bloodshed. No one was truly prepared to see this.

Or possibly it was personal. No way to know. As far as Yi could tell, the latter wasn’t in his usual area, too far from his homeland. It couldn’t be linked to his family. So what was it ? He came accross someone ? He learned a terrible thing ?

_What happened ?_

No answers came, only the wind ondulating in the grass as he made his way along the mountains. He started to recognize it indeed, all he had to do was follow around until he found the sea again. It would still take some time though, Yi wasn’t fooled. Otherwise it wasn’t too difficult, he was used to walk on difficult paths snaking down the mountains side. So this was fairly easy.

What wasn’t so easy was the pain he carried. A constant reminder that his love was hurting and that each step separated them further. It wouldn’t go away and now he had that heavy pain weighing on his soul and bond.

Maybe it was for the best, maybe with their link he was sharing Yasuo’s pain to make it easier for him. However it was just his imagination. All Yi could do was hope his soulmate was safe and healthy. The most important was to not give up, not after their separation. They each went with the goal to meet when they can and until that moment, none of them could surrender. _Do it for me_. _Even if it’s hard_. It was without a doubt. If he felt like walking with a hole through his chest then no wonder what Yasuo must have been feeling. A few days and it felt all the same, without a break. Psychological pain indeed, because otherwise Yi wouldn’t have registered that.

Walking in circle, this led nowhere. The only solution was time and patience but knowing his soulmate was suffering to such level didn’t make it easier. For now they would have to do with that and carry on.

_Please, Yasuo. Take care._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya know as soon as you think this is fine, it will be yi's turn


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
let's get more angst~
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_Brother…How could you betray us… ?_

Shock. In one second Yasuo woke up, gasping after that cold feeling. A few shaky breaths came as he tried to forget what he just saw in his sleep. A nightmare, another one. Or was it really one ? This was his life now and nothing could wash the blood on his hands.

It still left him so tense and distressed, a persistent image in his mind that haunted him the few time he managed to sleep. Yone dying in his arms, a grave nearby hidden under beautiful trees blossoming in that blessed season. Beauty wasted by a crime. Maybe it was only fair. Yone didn’t deserve to die so soon, especially not chasing the wrong person. Nonetheless his blood was on Yasuo’s hands and blade, it wouldn’t go away.

Again and again he lived the same memory, sometimes made worse by his lack of sleep. No words or on the opposite screams and yells about his betrayal, gaze full of disgust at it died little by little. Imagination did some much and guilt gladly took the rest. No rest for killers.

So tense on this spot he had ended up collapsing on, Yasuo gathered his strenght but the motivation was gone. He hadn’t completely left the area, lingering not far as if his very soul had been captured there to stay forever. It hurt. Breathe. Even such a small needed reflex was painful now that it meant he was alive unlike his brother.

The tears came back too soon. _No please…_ It never truly ended, only when his body had nothing more to give. Or when he slept. This wasn’t very often because he knew that when it happened, it would be only to give him the worst memories of his deeds or a twisted versions that would shock him out of sleep. This was hell and there was no rest for him.

Funny how now he felt concerned about the death of yet another warrior chasing him through the First Lands. It only took that this same warrior was related to him by blood and even that couldn’t save any of them. Yasuo hated himself a bit more, for having made a choice between his mission and his family.

_Yone… _

The second person to show him mercy and acceptance. Why did he have to slay him ? Why among everyone was Yone sent after him ? It felt like a sick joke made by the village, aware that this was the most ‘perfect’ solution for them. Either Yasuo surrended and accepted his fate or he had to take his own brother down. Maybe they were so confident he would let Yone kill him or that he was less skilled than his older brother. And yet everyone at the sword school was aware that Yasuo had the biggest potential, one that came up only in generations and worthy of Elder Souma’s teaching. _It was a trap_. It sure looked like one. In no universe this could have turned out well for both of them, whoever told Yone had doomed them. This was on purpose. Two birds with one stone. If that wasn’t enough, they got rid of one of this damned family of outcasts and the second one was definitely guilty.

From the start Yasuo would have been charged for taking down each warrior coming after him and probably they had proof of that – even as he wouldn’t deny it, he still had honor. Now to know Yasuo was still standing and running meant he had committed fratricide. No forgiveness would be given, even from his remaining family.

Speaking of, it came to his mind that their mother wouldn’t know before some time. Even if information reached the village, who told she would hear of it ? They had already changed facts to accuse him and get Yone on his tracks, what did they say to this poor widow ? Already pushed away of the community and now her only family was reduced to nothing – almost. To consider Yasuo dead to her would be the minimum, as soon as she would learn about his actions.

More tears. _Ahhh…_ He couldn’t bear to imagine her reaction. Sadness, horror, disgust, hatred. All of it so vivid on her face. He had already seen it once in a nightmare a few ‘nights’ ago, awful feelin creeping up until he couldn’t bear it. And not once he could look away, forced to witness the despair of a mother that lost her two sons at once. No doubt they wouldn’t just tell her what happened but also add many false details on how horrible he was for that. It was meant to happen, salt ready to be poured on an open wound.

Would she believe them ?

_Yes._ Why wouldn’t she ? For all Yasuo could think, the most likely was that they fed their lies to both her and Yone, when himself broke out of this semblance of jail. They would say that he had killed Elder Souma, that he had refused to accept his punishment, that he had ran away and deserted. And now they would come back to her saying how terribly sorry they were to inform her about the death of her legitimate son, by the hand of her bastard. Feigning compassion and sadness for someone that they had always despised for no valid reason. Her only usefulness for them had been in having a good son that believed the lies and chased the supposed culprit. How evil to manipulate everything in the name of justice. Incredibly bitter, Yasuo could just realize how they were all used in this, a pawn among many others. Possibly these people didn’t think as much about taking control and ruining lives simply for power or else but the result was the same, they had managed to tear apart a small family that had asked nothing.

_Wait._

Could that be true ? Could someone do this on purpose ? What did he truly know about the first crime, the one he never did ? So far it was only words he had hears from everyone at the school, the result that mattered. Elder Souma was dead, the murderer was gone – and returned as they thought – and nothing clear about what happened. Was everything a lie ? Did someone among the village or the sword school do that and covered it up by accusing him ? It was almsot perfect, Yasuo was the most hated kid around and no one would miss him. Why not accuse him ?

All these thoughts weren’t happy and it fueled his anger. At least it distracted him even for a while from the infinite pain of slaying his own borther. Yasuo clung to this, to truth and justice. It was in this ideal that he had covered his path in blood and losing this purpose would kill him too from despair. His life depended on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor boy gotta mourn for now and grieve  
hold on your tissues, soon it gonna hurt on the otherside, maybe in a few chapters


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
here is the dose of angst xD it's to balance the fluff elsewhere (or the opposite, never enough fluff)
> 
> thanks for reading!!

_Home…._

It was getting closer, little by little, step by step. _Bahrl_. On the other side of the sea. Technically it wasn’t a lot to cross, there was a lot more between the First Lands and any other nations but this small part of water had kept them safe. Had his village been situated on the main island, would have it been safer ? Or the opposite ?

Yi was rather sure this was for a good reason. Wuju had flourished and thrived isolated from everyone. Only in the mountains of a small island could it happen. He did remember quite well this map of the lands, one of the only proofs that there was so much to explore out there. Having it was simply for its aesthetic side, otherwise the village never taught which smaller regions made the First lands, which were the most developed cities and temples.

Such a curious item could just pick interest. They weren’t alone, even though it was clear no one was to get out and risk the village’s safety. Where did that map come from ? Yi was sure he hadn’t been the only kid asking that question. Everyone had been curious during childhood, before sort-of accepting the fate of preserving Wuju through isolation. It had been this way for generations, no one would dare to break such a tradition.

The map itself was so old, only this care for knowledge had kept it from falling apart. From an ancient time._ It’s rather stupid_. Why keep a map of everything there was around the island if they wanted to convince everyone to stay here ? The map was so accurate but for any curious it was already enough to dream of new horizons. Except for the light glimpse of the sea afar, they wouldn’t even have known the village was situated on an island.

Maybe that was the purpose, to know what there was in the backyard and prove it wasn’t much interesting. Just a few valleys, a river and then the sea. See kids ? No need to go outside, the village was safe and they had everything. The real mystery for Yi remained to know how everyone before him had just accepted that fact and to stay at the village from birth to death. Not that their life wasn’t boring but the only way to push someone to explore was to forbid them to do so.

Well, little did they know that Yi would dare to break the rule and join the fights. This would have happened sooner or later, if it weren’t him it would be another one of his generation. They couldn’t stop everyone. At the occasion it made him sad to know he hadn’t been alone to flee the village. He had seen the very proof of it and the corpse of a friend. It should have comforted him so slightly to know he had started something but at the same time this was quite horrific if it meant leading his peers to death. Yi never wished to do that, he wanted to put his sole life at risk in order to protect many others. What if there were other of his friends that had died already, so far of their home ?

_Don’t think about that now_.

Yi had only heard of one person, not about the others. No need to make himself sick with hypothesis, he would know the truth soon enough. Little by little he was making it back home. He could see faintly the outline of the island from where he stood near the coast.

Looking at this far island made him both a little relieved and greatly scared. What would happen ? Would his family and the elders be reasonable or not ? This was what he feared most, not to know his own parents enough to be sure he risked nothing. Of course he would be punished and have to endure something harsh but what then ?

The worst would be to be forcefully kept away from Yasuo, forever. They could do that, there was already the clear rule to drive away any intruder in these otherwise empty mountains. Yasuo would still try to find him, after all they had a link to help with that. No guaranty to see each other though. Yi wasn’t ready to see his soulmate threatened for trying to find him.

_What could they do ?_

It would be wicked to give him the choice between his village – family, traditions and rules – and his soulmate. Yi still had to consider this because in the worst case it could happen and then the choice would have to be made. Better think about it as soon as possible.

Would he do it ? In the end Yi already knew, even though he didn’t like that much. He would chose Yasuo before anyone else, for the village had just tried to hold him back all his life. Wuju was still strong within him, he would carry on the legacy exactly like the elders wanted but he would do it his own way. Would they condemn Wuju by limiting it to a secluded village ? They said it was meant to stay this way but there could be another way. Choosing Yasuo was one of these choices, to accept destiny for it knew best. Nothing could stop them.

Why such deep thoughts ? It didn’t help right now. Yet it was a distraction he needed against that increasing emptiness in his chest and looming anxiety. Somewhere his love was still suffering. It didn’t seem to end or lessen. Just a few weeks ago and Yi still felt it, wail in their connection be it at day and night.

_Yasuo…._

There was nothing worse than being powerless against such pain, especially someone else’s pain. Although there were some changes from time to time, like sudden anger and then deep bitterness, pain was a constant. Time going without a mark was just more worrying for Yi. Nothing had felt like that before. A few times he was almost sure Yasuo would act on this, it seemed too much for a single person to bear. Could the latter act on this idea? Would he dare? He preferred not to think about that neither, there was no good signs from the other side. Only pain and tears, despair and screams.

In moment like these Yi wished they were together, able to soothe his love the same way he had taken care of his wound in what felt like a decade ago. Less than two years. Time was twisted.

In any case they were separated, there was a whole land between them and his words couldn’t reach Yasuo. So of course he tried to distract himself, thinking about better days and the tenderness of a reunion.

Only that could made him carry one, more than mere duty to his people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i managed to write like always! hope i'll be able to keep going!  
about yi, you know it's almost time


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!  
last warning, next update gonna hurt!
> 
> thanks for reading <3

It felt like a nightmare, dark mass that threatened to drown him little by little. Sometimes it decreased enough for Yasuo to reach the surface and take a deep breath. Inhale, exhale. Stay alive. Day and night it barely gave him rest, the low torment reserved to killers. As if sleep was a better option. On the opposite, it was like being hunted in a place filled of pain and darkness.

No light.

Yasuo didn’t know if he preferred to be asleep and suffering of these nightmares or awake and unable to find peace. In either case sleep was a long lost friend to never be seen again.

_I deserve this._

They repeated it, distant voices and conscience whispering at the back of his mind. Maybe it was just his guilt taking over, taking the shape of something apart from him. Funny, when they said there was no peace for murderers, did they mean it in the way people would always remind him of his wrongs or that his own guilt would take care of the job ? Sometimes the worst was self-inflicted.

Every memory felt tainted and bloody, like another life he wasn’t worthy to remember under such good light. On the other hand, Yasuo’s childhood hadn’t been the best, far from it but even the small happy things were now soiled by this constant remind that he had slayed Yone. How could he remember a time when their small family was as happy as they could be ? It was like spitting to their face, knowing that years later the bastard would kill his legitimate brother. No longer happiness for them, Yone was gone and burried.

To say these weeks after Yone’s death were difficult would be an understatement. A few times Yasuo had passed out, as simply as that, tiring himself to the point of collapsing to the ground. At least these times he wouldn’t have nightmares if he was lucky, only a dreamless sleep that would soon end.

That was running to a disaster. He knew it well. Killing his brother couldn’t stop the other warriors from chasing him through the First Lands, or else he would have known a long time ago. Soon someone else would find him and given his physical condition, it was certain he would lose his life at the next encounter.

_I can’t._

It would be such dishonor to die after doing everything to stay alive, including killing his brother. That sacrifice was part of it, in no way Yasuo was allowed to die now, not after the first warrior of the school he had killed. That day he had gone on a path meant to be achieved.

So he rose and carried out, found food and water to stay alive, battled these hellish thoughts. This was maybe the worst to endure but it was the heavy price of honor. Yone had accepted it just like him. Live by the blade and die by the blade. This was still better than being killed after passing out in the middle of the northern mountains.

This was why he was still standing, trying to remember the point of all this. To surrender now would be pointless and stupid, the least thing he wanted in this world after seeing his mother again. It was done, Yone was dead. Nothing would bring him back so at least he could pretend to have an ounce of honor and to seek the culprit. Otherwise Yone would have died for nothing. _No. I won’t fail_.

No matter the darkness and screaming guilt, he had to move and quick. Each day spent nearby was another one that risked to condemn him. Better move, run, flee. _Where ?_ For now his research in the main island had given nothing and he couldn’t get further north, there was only the sea. So everything pushed him to return South.

As quick his thoughts returned to Yi. His dear beloved, his special darling, the only sunshine he needed. So far away in the South. Yasuo looked in his direction, aware that by now their link was barely a thread, a semblance of connection that would be useless if they didn’t have each other’s emotions.

_Yi…_

It had been so long. In the middle of this mess, Yasuo didn’t have much thoughts to dedicate to him, his own pain was too much. He hoped the latter wouldn’t be mad or sad about it, he didn’t mean to but his mental health was going so bad.

In moments like these it felt like breathing again. South he would find his lover, even as he was putting more distance between them by the day. Anyway the gap was already quite deep, as if nothing could hurt them further. At least time had managed to soothe a little the burn of separation, even though Yasuo would feel a lot better just after a single kiss.

_Where are you going, baby ?_

Sometimes his dark thoughts had convinced him Yi was doing this on purpose, taking the opposite direction. It was irrational to think like this but in this pit of guilt and awful throughts, everything was twisted for the worst. Stupid ideas like wondering if his own soulmate would hate him for turning this way. It didn’t help at all, digging into something too painful but his mind had these dark times. Better shut everything down and try to sleep or run, at least that would distract him.

Poor Yi, surely he had no idea what was happening on his side while he did get a few echoes through their link. Yasuo knew that, they had both realized this part of a soulmate bond. Now it meant that his dear lover had heard of his pain without any reasons or explanations. Knowing Yi had worried so much over him for a mere cut, this couldn’t be peaceful for him. _I’m sorry_. Sorry for what, being depressed and grieving ? No, Yasuo wanted to apologize for not being present. It was because of his decision to return home that they had been separated.

There went a few light tears. At least these ones weren’t guided by guilt and images of blood over his hands. These were for his far soulmate, who’se presence he missed dearly.

_One day, Yi…One day… _

And then one day pain came from the other end of the link. Suffocating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's time


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the suffering begin!
> 
> thanks for reading~

Take a step, then another, then another. Go on, don’t turn away.

If the first days Yi had been at least a little glad to go back home, everything was lost to maddening anxiety as time went. Of course he wanted to find his home and his family but fear was now deeply anchored within him. Each step in familiar land made his realize. Soon he would find them and face the wrath of a village.

Was the rule even broken once ? No, though that was what the elders had always said. Surely because admitting an error in the system would give the kids wrong ideas. Why would someone break the rule and go outside ? If no one had ever tried, it meant it wasn’t worth it.

Having taken that painful decision helped Yi in several things. Clearly he couldn’t have been the first one in generations. There had to be others like him, unwilling to bend to the rules enough to break. These were always there for a reason but forbiding everyone from leaving was the only one that didn’t make sense. It brought up too many questions that would never be answered. So it led to this kind of moment when adulthood arrived. When the answer became obvious.

Obviously he would get the worst scolding of a lifetime. There was literally no way to escape this – unless he had chosen never to come back – or simply to prevent it. After all he had fled from the village and the safety of home.

Yi was scared now. It had always been there but with this decreasing distance he could just register the heavy fear of the unknown. Facing Noxus would almost seem easier, less troubles and inner conflicts. This time he would face his own family, friends, master, everyone that had seen him grow and learn. No way to consider them enemies but Yi still resented the final moment.

Owning his decision wasn’t the issue, he would do it twice, thrice, however he needed if it meant saving at least a few lives. No, he wasn’t scared of his responsibilities but of what he had called home for so long.

Solitude and abandon. That would be the worst.

Each step in the paths snaking up these known mountains turned his blood cold. What if they did reject him ? At the same time he wouldn’t be helpless, Yasuo was still his sweet home but definitely closing this chapter of his life would be incredibly painful. And yet he deserved it for breaking the rule and disregarding its aim to instead focus on the safety of the outside world. Anything could happen.

All this felt deeply wrong. How could he feel so guilty over something he knew was right ? The intention was good, why did it had to have a heavy price ?

Take another step, then another one. Fight the fear, it wouldn’t save him to run away in the opposite direction. To flee never was the right solution, one had to take responsibility for their decisions.

Yi walked his way up the mountains, worry coiling in his chest like the most hateful poison. Anxiety almost made it more difficult to breathe.

Soon he would see the pagodas from his childhood, only from the point of view of an outsider. Home was so close.

~

_What ?_

Something was wrong. So wrong.

Yi had barely caught a glimpse of the far signs of his dear village. Still a bit to walk but now he could see it. Again something was wrong, the atmosphere itself was strange.

_What is that ?_

The First Lands always thrummed with magic, it was part of the ground, of nature and fauna. It was part of the air and yet it felt dead now. At first Yi believed he had just lost his habit to live in the mountains but no, it didn’t explain why he struggled to breathe, even so slightly. There was something in the air.

On reflex he went faster to the village, suddenly scared about this change. Had anything happened nearby in his absence ? Indeed in two years a lot could happen but nothing could alterate the land to the point of draining its magic. Balance had been broken and by simply existing there he could feel it.

If that wasn’t enough, now he realized the gates were open. This never happened. These ancient walls and gates had been there forever as both a sign of protection but also a way to keep everyone in. Now it was open.

_Why ??_

It didn’t make sense, why would they even open the gates if they wanted to convince everyone to stay here ? By now Yi wasn’t scared about his own fate, concern had taken over while he ran the gates. Closer he got, more difficult it was for him to breathe, to the point of coughing._ It hurts…_ Whatever that was, it burned his throat and eyes. Not even smoke made him react like this.

Then reality slapped him. _Noxus_. He remembered that far too well from the fights. The use of despicable tactics to weaken them, smoke and other creative things. It had to be Noxus for all the land nearby seemed tainted by foreign hunger, seeping low in the earth.

_They found us ?_

To simply imagine that was awful, it never was supposed to happen. The village was too far, too hidden in the middle of nowhere. Noxus couldn’t have tumbled over it even on accident. The clues were too many, it only made Yi sickly worried for the village. _What happened ??_

If indeed Noxus had found the village – which was highly likely – then there was so little hope. This was the worst, to imagine how bad it was. Yi reached the gates, trying to recover his breath but it wasn’t air anymore, something was mixed with that. It even looked like a light fog around, blurring his vision in the distance.

Yi stepped into the village and his blood ran cold, gaze fallen on something on the ground. Someone. A body.

By the time he reached for it, he already knew. It was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooooooo this is just the introductio :)  
next chapter will also have Yi's POV, be ready for the real deal


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy this is barely starting
> 
> thanks for reading, be ready!

This was hell, not a single spark of hope to be seen.

What happened ? When did it happen ? Was it Noxus ? Of course it was Noxus, who else would destroy a whole village during the war ? Because that was the crushing reality, the village was no more. Its walls still stood, just like the houses and everything else but the people making it alive were no more.

At least, the few that Yi had found. They might all be dead.

He still walked in the village, trying not to pass out from the cheer horror that assaulted him since his return. This was his home and now it was dead, swamped with heavy fog. That mere thing was a mystery, lingering around the place as if to make it more sinister. Death was in the air.

Each step asked too much and that wasn’t even close to the effort of breathing such foul thing. Chemicals. Whatever that was. Yi was like a ghost in this village that he had only known full of life and happiness, thanks to memories of childhood.

This was over now.

One step after the other, wandering without aim. Everything was blurred and dulled, preventing him from realizing the depth of the loss. Soon it would hit. Hard.

~

Reality caught up with him after what felt like an eternity, when at last he tumbled into his own house. So many memories of this place, so loved and then so feared after it had started to feel like a prison. Be it by instinct or habit that he had returned here, Yi knew he was looking for something. Someone.

Make it real.

There he found his father, or rather his corpse. Long gone it would seem. There came the first slap of reality, as if it hadn’t been enough to find already a few bodies since he found the village. Surely it struck a lot more when it was family, same blood.

From then he couldn’t remember much. It was just impossible to think when after two years he had barely got back home and it was dead. Everyone was probably dead, so were his parents. Pain became unbearable, beyond the strain put by the ambient air and poisonous fog.

No, it wasn’t time to fall yet. He hadn’t found his mother, he had to check. So he fought the violent nausea and ran, using his last strengths to find her. Soon he realized she wasn’t here. It was cruel because it still gave him hope, maybe there were only a few deaths and the rest was safe elsewhere. Maybe.

Yi ran in the village, following the deepest reflex from his childhood. Find her, make sure she was safe. But he knew it. Of course he could tell it was useless. There was no use in hoping for desperate things when everything showed the place was dead, Wuju had been killed and its magic drained.

He ran, tears falling little by little until he couldn’t even see so well. It hurt. She had to be somewhere. But did he really want to know ? He felt like his younger self, running through the village on his way to training, happy and innocent in the best peace. Now he was chasing the faint hope of his home not being completely dead.

More bodies. It never ended and each new one killed his hopes further. Ice in his blood and pain in his chest, nothing left him alone.

He found his mother, in the gardens. Then his whole world crashed down, shattering in thousands of pieces. She was dead too, lifeless body that he couldn’t not recognize. All he felt was pain now.

Scream.

~

What was even the point ? Was there a single life that could be saved here ?

Why ?

Too many questions and no answer. And yet Yi couldn’t even focus on that, afflicted by everything. Unable to bear the sight of his dear mother, he just stood and ran away.

What was the point of this war ? Why destroy a village situated so far away that even the other towns of the island ignored everything of Wuju ? It wasn’t fair, none of this should have happened.

Yi kept running away from the village until he could breathe again and yet the tears never stopped, a constant stream of agony. Run until he felt alive again.

The pain never stopped though, it kept piercing his heart and it wasn’t just the effort he had put his body through, it was the emotionnal wreck happening by the minutes. He wanted to go back and check, at least to be sure there was no one left. On the other hand his very soul refused to step into the village again.

It was a nightmare, he only had to find a way to wake up. But it never arrived. The only thing he managed was to exhaust himself beyond his body’s limits, collapsing at last and that wasn’t even close to the pain he endured mentally. He wanted to wake up but it was impossible, this was way too real, too horrible to be a mere dream.

Face down to the ground, he did feel alive but until when ? What was the point ? His home was dead and he hadn’t been able to just say goodbye. Somehow he was still alive but was it truly some good news ? He could taste blood, chemicals and the salt of his tears. His body was really close to just give up, both from the poison in the air and the violence of reality.

In such despair there was only solution, focus on something else. In no way Yi would ever manage to forget so he had to focus on anything else not to lose his life on it. Like Noxus. The culprit, the nation that never had enough and thrived in bloodbath. Only them could have done that and used such vile way to fight.

Yes, this was the only solution. Keep fighting, focus on Noxus. They were at fault, none of this would have happened without Noxus. The source of hatred. It all began there and now Yi felt it too, hatred against them for taking him his home. Memories of the first soldier he had killed, of this bloody place empty of life after the massacre. Now he was experiencing the true pain of knowing each one of these dead faces. Ruined, because of Noxus.

Hatred was the only way left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jmsqhfjhdjfhjd i worry so much about writing this wrong, feels like Unforgiven was the best i could ever give on these moments xD  
anyway, the angst will go for a lot of time


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
back to the angst train choochoooooooooo
> 
> thanks for reading!!

At first pain, so sudden. It was like a stab, taking Yasuo by surprise while he made his way down the mountains for the South. Not just a flash but a full rush that didn’t end so soon, making him stop as quick.

_What is that ??_

It was strange and really concerning, kicking his panic as if he had been hurt without realizing it. But no, there was no wound, no physical hurt, nothing. Then nausea hit, making him doubt a little. _Ill ?_ It was so weird, why so suddenly ? Breath short and soul throbbing with pain, Yasuo had to sit near a rock to breathe as it had gotten a lot more difficult.

Suffocating.

For a time he didn’t dare to move, trying his best to understand what was happening. It couldn’t be the change of level because he had been a lot higher in the mountains and he had survived it without such toll. Then what was the issue ?

After a few icy minutes at controlling his breathing, Yasuo found something. Their link. In fact he wasn’t actually aching, their connection was and his body took it a bit too personally.

_Yi ?_

Why would he feel so bad because of their connection ? It didn’t make sense but at the same time he had no idea what his soulmate had to endure when himself was at his worst after slaying his brother. There was literally no proof that whatever happened to one didn’t happen to the other and since emotions travelled through the link, how about violent outbursts ? Yasuo grew concerned, he didn’t like this possibility, as true as it sounded, because it meant he had made Yi’s life miserable for the latest weeks. But better focus on what was happening at the moment.

What could cause such a thing ? For such a long time it had been more than calm on his lover’s side, barely no hint of emotions or pain in the link. That was also why Yasuo was always surprised to know it was sensitive, most of the time Yi carried on so well that nothing passed besides some sadness on rare occasion.

And now it was full blast agony hurled in their link, while before it had been such peace that Yasuo couldn’t even notice the smallest rippling. Something had happened and he was horrified to know Yi was experiencing it.

Breathing didn’t go much better but at least he wasn’t panicking too much anymore, sort of getting used to the sudden pain in their connection. As if he could get used to it. It felt like he was stuck in a room and forced to acknowledge the screaming happening outside, without any possibility to help.

_Yi… ? You’re hurt ? _

Yasuo hated that likely risk, he hated knowing his soulmate was hurt somewhere he couldn’t even hope to reach. Maybe that was what soulmates involved, hurting for the other half. In any case it cut his heart many many times to just sense that horrible pain from the other sad, even more without any understanding.

What if Yi was dying ? The most despicable ideas came up, hurting more and more. It was true, what did he know ? Yi never really gave away his pain except on the day they had parted but that was ridiculously low compared to that hell. Please no…

Not once he would have been ready to accept it. Never. They had promised to find each other and to never let go again. Yi had sworn. He couldn’t possibly die now.

Waiting was torture. Eyes closed, fully focused on the other side of their connection, Yasuo waited for the dreaded end. What was it supposed to feel like when one’s soulmate died ? In any case, given the echoes of pain and sometimes pleasure, it had to be senses when the other half died. So he sat there, holding back his tears the best he could while he witnessed the agony screaming in their link. Like a kid, back to the door, waiting for the storm to end. Why was he made so helpless these times ? It was unfair to be forced in such passive role, only able to watch loved ones’ pain and death and no way to fight it. He waited in atrocious fear that silence would come back and with it a lack of response from the other side.

_Yi…Please…._

Then a change came, without a warning. Not the one he feared so much but not a good one either. It was a change of tone in the continuous scream, from pain to anger, to hatred. Yasuo hadn’t expected that but at the same time he hadn’t expected any of this, especially from his soulmate. Because that was the real shock, to hear hatred from Yi.

_He’s… ?_

It didn’t make sense, it hadn’t made sense from the beginning but now he was more than lost. It was actual fury that screamed in the link, a call for murder and blood. For a time Yasuo even doubted he was sensing this from his dear lover, his light in the darkness. How could Yi feel such a thing, powerful enough to not only echoe in their connection but also shake him physically. Pain was still here but it was so low, like forgotten for a time. What was happening ? Why that change ?

Thinking a little, this anger bordering hatred had a taste of self-defence, a reaction to something. Of course someone would be angry or sad after being hurt, that was purely natural. What then ? Yasuo couldn’t possibly think of something that could cause such agony to a strong man like Yi.

_Family ?_ It would make sense, either family or friends. As far as Yasuo knew because indeed he didn’t know much. Suddenly reality caught up with him, a harsh reminder of what had befallen his own family, or rather what was left of it. Yi had felt that moment too, when he had killed Yone in cold blood. No doubt the echoes must have felt like a storm and now Yasuo fully understood it, it could be similar. But not sadness, just pain and hatred so at least he could hope Yi hadn’t caused anything to his dear ones.

It was war time. Cruelty was everywhere and blood ran the valleys and mountains. Noxus could potentially be the cause of all this, it wouldn’t be a surprise for the period. Still, it left a bitter taste. Yasuo knew far too well that sometimes it didn’t even require any outsider action to witness injustice and bloodsheds. He had dug his own grave.

Coming back to Yi, he couldn’t ignore the call at all. It resonated within him, the most pure hatred directed toward something, someone. A thirst for blood and revenge. It cried and screamed without an end, raw voice that never got a rest. It felt like dying inside. Little by little it overwhelmed Yasuo, he had never thought feeling such a thing from Yi, he who was so calm and kind. Able to give death but never driven by strong emotions. All this reeked of unfairness, the cruelt of war that managed to take yet another peaceful soul.

At least he had the comfort to feel that pain was a little reduced, it couldn’t be that serious of a wound. Was it truly ? Could it be rather an emotional wound, something so terrible that it crushed Yi from the inside ?

For now Yasuo could just stay alert to the other side, just in case. Sorrows were quick to seize him, unable to do anything for this deafening cry of anger.

_Please baby…Don’t… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, that was a short pause on yasuo's side, now let's get back on the REAL PAIN


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
let's go with the super mood xD
> 
> thanks for reading!!

It would never be enough.

At some point hatred ran out and Yi had to face reality. This was meant to happen, one couldn’t run away from it forever. Oh it wasn’t easy for him, the worst hit he had ever taken and it wasn’t even physical. No way to stand again, face to the earth that welcomed his tears. No strengths anymore.

Hatred had been useful for a time but already its distraction was over. It was be so easy to blame Noxus and this stupid war. It truly was. But there was more behind and soon Yi’s thoughts couldn’t avoid the terrible truth.

How could Noxus have heard of the village ?

It surely was the safest place of the island, if not of all the First Lands. So secluded that no one could even think about leaving. All this was meant to keep Wuju alive for no one could ever know future events. A lot of good it did, indeed. Noxus still found them.

The only change in the latest years was one unique event. The day Yi had left the village, ran away to help in the war.

It couldn’t be just a coincidence. One day he had dared to break out of the village, breaking that rule meant to keep everyone safe inside. Could it be ? Could one single breach change everything ? One person out, leaving a bloody trail of Noxian corpses. It had to catch the attention, he had done so much to keep them away. Furthermore, he knew some of his generation had followed his steps. To find one of them dead in the battlefields so far from home was the sole proof needed. He wasn’t alone and the gods knew how skilled they were with Wuju.

Was Wuju so powerful that it made a blood-thirsty nation seek to destroy it ?

It could be and Yi hated that possibility. Because in the end he was responsible for this. In no way they would even know how it could have gone if things were different, if he had decided to stay. Maybe one of his friends would have been the one to escape and lead that spark of rebellious spirit within their hearts.

Maybe.

Nothing would change though, it was too late. Yi was too late and he had caused everything himself. Not by his own hands technically Wuju wouldn’t have been found if it wasn’t for his need to fight.

These thoughts were horrible. Little by little he heard it repeated many times, betrayal and massacres. It was guilt speaking but Yi knew it was true. Once hatred was low again, guilt was there to replace it with atrocious pain. One stab, two stabs, three stabs, again and again. Was it true ? Of course it had to be true or the village would still be alive.

Afflicted, Yi couldn’t take it anymore. This was hell, the voices didn’t shut up and now this hatred was turned against himself.

What had he done ?

Why was he still alive ?

It screamed and screamed, an endless stream of horror and fury unleashed as if the deads were still able to haunt him. They would never know another path of events, this was the way it was and it would remain forever. All dead, except him.

Was it truly the case ?

~

A few times he woke up and passed out again, difficult cycle without an ounce of rest. It was assaulting him every second, the memories of what he had seeen, the painful reality, the guilt for his own decisions. It was barely starting, that last one would never leave him alone.

Time was a lost concept, nothing had an impact. Yi didn’t feel anymore. What was the point of fighting ? They were all dead. At least the few that he had seen. But why would he hope ? What could he even do now that everything was lost because of his own decision ?

His whole body hurt and yet it was like he didn’t feel it. That was physical, his true pain was emotional. Nothing mattered anymore.

Wouldn’t it be right to join them ? It was his fault after all. He was alive and they weren’t jsut because he was reckless and eager to help. Not once he would have thought risking the whole village’s safety but it was too late for regrets. Maybe the eldershad been right all along with the rules.

Would it solve anything to stay here and die ? It would be fitting, outside of the village like the outcast he had made himself of all alone.

_No, you can’t die._

The voices got louder, cold as ice. It hurt.

_You didn’t kill us all for this. Wuju has to stay alive._

It was true anyway, there was no one left to carry on Wuju. No one but him in the worst case. Maybe more of his generation would come back from the fights but that felt more like desperate hopes. It wouldn’t happen. At the time they had already said he was the strongest of them all.

Now he was the last one.

_You have to stay alive and suffer._

A fitting punishment. Death was the easy exit, he didn’t even deserve that, not when everyone was dead because of him. In that instant Yi didn’t know what was the worst, both would be hell for him. Even death couldn’t clear his guilt.

The last survivor. This wasn’t a chance, this was a duty to carry on. After all, taking the sword and armor were his choice, he couldn’t back down now that he knew the price. Anyway the price was already paid.

The urge to stay right there and deperish little by little was strong. And yet he didn’t deserve this death, he either had to die in the battlefield or to live with his crimes. Nothing could erase that.

_Stand. Accept your responsibilities. _

What else could he do ? The physical pain was too much but he was still alive. Yi had to stand and go or he would never forgive himself. In any case they wouldn’t neither, they were dead.

_Look at us, this is your fault. Don’t even think about ending it all now._

There was no other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor yasuo must be wondering hard wtf is happening  
but yi got it worse, what a shitshow  
and it's barely starting


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!   
sorry for the silence yesterday, i really needed to rest T__T
> 
> thank you for reading!!

_It’s not stopping…_

By now Yasuo didn’t know what to do or say, less than ever. At the same time, it would have been difficult for him to do anything because of the large distance between them but this didn’t ease the pain nonetheless.

Hours and hours after the initial shock, he hadn’t recovered yet. It was sickening to know Yi was enduring this all alone, not even a word could reach him. So the scream never ended.

It scared him increasingly to hear it change and yet never stop. It wasn’t Yi’s voice, it was his pain or whatever the soulmate link allowed to go through. That thought wasn’t reassuring either, only one more mystery to the pile.

Would that scream ever end ?

Of course there had been a time when their link was calm and peaceful but for now Yasuo couldn’t remember it. Slow torture going on the other side. More than ever he wanted to find Yi again, to feel him in his arm and to soothe the pain. Would he ever be enough ? Yasuo had no idea what was the cause of all this, only able to make assumptions based on the actual state of war. In any case it wouldn’t help, he was too far away, there was literally nothing he could do besides following the thread and finding Yi.

That he couldn’t do, for many reasons. He was still a searched criminal – oh dear memory of Yone just coming up at mere mention – and no place was truly safe. Yasuo couldn’t bring himself to lead any one of his swordschool to Yi, it would have disastrous consequences for both him and Yi. So much pain.

_I can’t…_

And yet he resumed his path to the South. He couldn’t help it, the link was bringing them closer. Fleetingly it also made him so worried to feel that Yi hadn’t moved since the first outburst. Maybe indeed he would require some peace and rest to recover after that shock but what then ? Could he even recover ? It had been almost half a day and none of it was reduced.

A constant flame burning wildly then a void screaming forever. Day and night. Yasuo couldn’t understand their either, how could someone have such a switch of mood so suddenly ? Hatred was gone, at least for now. This wasn’t such good news, Yasuo feared it would come back later, another flip to another mood. He didn’t like analysing like this everything he could sense on the other side but that was a small way to cope and not break down from cheer worry.

Who knew ? Was there any threat over his soulmate’s life ? Did he risk anything ? Would it come back later ? He couldn’t shake off the horrible feeling when he was close to suffocate because of their link and then the time he had been dreading a near death from the other side. This wasn’t nothing, he couldn’t pretend all was good in the best of worlds. So yes he thought and worried, imagining the best and the worst possibilities. Mostly the worst because anxiety for a loved one could be a pain.

Speaking of that change, it was really peculiar. Yasuo remembered well that dazing hatred flooding their connection. For a time he would have almost convinced himself it was directed to him. As if Yi knew what he had done. Then the logical part of his mind reminded him that not everything was the result of his actions and what happened on Yi’s side surely was completely different.

_But why… ?_

Why did the hatred disappear so suddenly ? And why was it replaced by this deep sadness ? Nothing could compare to such agony, Yasuo felt it for real along a few nasty memories of the village hard words. The despair of a lonely soul. He could relate, maybe not for the same reasons but it hit too close to home anyway. Picture that, the hatred he had felt during his childhood along the sadness for being treated like an outcast. At that time he would have done everything to make it stop, to have someone who fully understood him.

_I should be there for him…_ He felt it within him, his place was by Yi’s side. Under normal circumstances or not. Being apart shouldn’t have happened anyway, it was his own fault for first deserting and then wanting to go back home.

More thoughts about ‘what-ifs’, nothing concrete. The only change was the direction taken, slowly closing distance until he could pretend he was helping, a way or another. Otherwise he had to trust Yi not to do anything drastic. That would be the end. Yasuo knew it very well, since he ever understood what everyone spat at his face during his childhood, there wasn’t a single time in his life when he hadn’t considered ending it all. First for being a mistake, then for being a deserter, then for being a fratricide. At that early time, it was his family that kept him going with a lot of spite and resentment for anyone else. It would be enough to carry on.

What did Yi have ? Would someone support him ? Was there even someone else ? Yasuo was just a ghost so far away, he couldn’t be useful. So he walked in that direction for the faint comfort it might give.

Would Yi even get to this ? Yasuo hoped everything he could that the ‘thing’ was nothing too serious but every single sign proved it wasn’t. The pain, the very effect on his side, the scream, the hatred and now the infinite sadness couldn’t be good signs. So yes he had reasons to think it might be too much. Himself had been haunted by the same idea since he had slayed his brother. Persistent. Eternal rest seemed sweet but honor kept him from it. How hypocritical to take down his own brother when honor required it to then backtrack and give up when it became to much.

_Please, do nothing like this. Stay alive for me…_

Not to put any blame on Yi but he was one of the reasons Yasuo carried on. Had he no one in his life anymore, he could have cut it short. But no, somewhere his soulmate was alive, he had to stay too both by respect and worry to cause him extreme distress in case he gave up. Yi was his everything, his light in the darkness, the promise for a better future.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye aye more angst  
this shit gonne hurt


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooooo  
alright, getting this moving a little
> 
> thanks for reading!!

What kind of sick nightmare was that?

Even while thinking it through Yi couldn’t possibly find any idea so sadistic. Who would use that kind of weapon ? Noxus, of course but they had just reached an awful point of cruelty.

After such a long time fighting his urges to just shut down, Yi had stood and come closer to the village again. It was horrible in itself because he didn’t want to come back, never. There weren’t any creatures around, all had fled the area after the massacre. The place was dead, balance broken. Each step made him more uncomfortable, deeply put off by the new aura that radiated this formerly harmonious land.

How could he still function ? No idea but he was alive and he had a mission. He owed everyone as much for he was the one responsible for this chaos.

Back into the village, he had to find a way not to breathe the air for too long. Whatever that was, it wasn’t good for him and to simply breathe it reminded him of the initial shock. Urges screamed to go away, to stay safe. This wasn’t natural.

Duty remained. As much as it tore his heart apart, Yi had to remain determined. This was what he got for playing the bold youngster ready to fight, now he had to deal with the consequences of war.

Face them all, they had died because of him.

At first this research was mostly aiming to find any survivors. Who knew ? Maybe somewhere there were a few folks alive in the middle of ruins. Yi also wanted to check because he couldn’t forgive himself yet. Many were deceased because of his choice, could there be anyone in need to be saved ? To ease his guilt even a little. He had let them down once, not twice – although it was probably too late for most.

A silent walk in deafening silence. No more birds chirping happily, no more kids running in the streets like he had done so many times. No more people anymore. That part was the worst. Death was in the air, the atmosphere, the village itself. The poison gave it also a weird tint, a sort of colored fog that clung to the place without subsiding. After all, what else could he expect from Noxus ? They were armed to the very end, all steel and iron. There were even words of entire ships that looked as sinister as their soldiers. A walking nightmare. So it wasn’t a surprise that Yi couldn’t understand this new kind of weapon. There were no traces of fights, no foreign steps within the protected walls. Nothing but immediate death.

The art of war.

Disgusting.

~

There were a few ones. Almost unhoped for and yet Yi wasn’t so happy about it. He had found a few survivors, familiar faces that he had once known. Not anymore.

They didn’t recognize him.

Whatever the weapon used against his people, it had killed most on impact and left the few livings dying little by little. It killed Yi a bit more. How horrifying, he wasn’t so alone and yet yes he was. The first he had found was probably the worst for he didn’t expect at all not to be recognized. Agonizing moment. Someone he had known and now he was barely a stranger to them.

That poison was responsible of everything, driving them crazy. Himself couldn’t be sure it hadn’t affected him yet and everything was some nasty hallucination but no help to know the truth. He had to carry on, believe himself or all would end. So he helped the best he could, held them until he was pushed away.

He was no longer a man, he was an enemy. And that only added salt to the wound.

Yi’s already too fragile hopes were crushed. Kept away, cursed many times when all he wanted was to have his home back. As if it wasn’t already so unfair.

Before it could kill him further he had resumed his search in the village. A distraction. As if checking the pulse of every body he found could be called a distraction. No, this was his punishment. One corpse after the other, one more blade piercing his heart for the blood was on his hands.

What was worse ? Finding young kids or the elders ? Some of the children were so young he couldn’t remember them, lost too young. He found a few families together, kids in their parents’ arms when they had all lost their lives. Happiness killed and soiled.

A few times Yi had to stop and flee out of the village. It was just too much, he couldn’t bear to see as many dear ones lying on the ground, dead. He couldn’t stand it, no matter how strong his sense of duty was. So he stayed far away, drowning in guilt before surrendering and going back to the village looking for any other souls that could be saved. Even as night had fallen. There was no rest for killers, he had to stay up. What if there were more of them ? But at the same time, what could he do ?

Nothing.

Would he even be able to sleep after allowing such a thing to happen ? Before sleep had been a luxury, now it was completely out of reach. Peace was lost forever. Anyway, would he truly rest if it happened ? It might just be nightmares, at least something a bit better than this hell he lived in.

So he stayed up until his body would give up. Look, pay attention, see if there was anyone out there still breathing the foul air. It was useless, deeply he knew it but he did it anyway because his guilt would end him slowly.

A few more persons found , none of them sane enough. It broke his heart even more. One screamed at him to go away, the most genuine terror that could be voiced. For a split second he thought they did recognize him and lashed at him for his crimes. It would be fair but it also extremely hurt. But then indeed he was just an enemy, someone that shouldn’t be there.

A deserter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they will see better days but these aren't there soon


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!  
sorry, it might seem a bit repeated but things will move slowly
> 
> thanks for reading!!

Even time couldn’t soothe that.

Yasuo was well aware that time wasn’t the solution for everything, that it couldn’t eraze pain as if it hadn’t been there in the first place. It just lessened it, if one was lucky. It didn’t seem like Yi’s case.

A few days later Yasuo wasn’t over it yet. Whatever that was, the cry in their connection wasn’t over yet, a continious call for help. It was back after that initial burst of fury. Maybe he preferred when he felt Yi’s anger because this was far too vulnerable and sensitive to think about. Anger often had a target, a purpose but sorrow could push to the unthinkable. _No. Please no_. Yi wouldn’t do that, not to him. Despite knowing it well, Yasuo was too scared.

Days after he couldn’t forget about it and at the same time, that was rather normal considering the strength of the shock. Something had happened to one of them and the other half had to endure it too. Yasuo didn’t mind so much escept for that part that implied his soulmate was either in troubles or in a very bad emotional place.

_What happened… ?_

Useless question, just like the first day. Yasuo would never get an answer unless he found Yi and this wasn’t going to happene before a very long time. His heart broke a little at this thought, everything in their lives pushed to go back together and be happy and yet destiny wasn’t so nice. Part of it was due to his choices but it was unfair nonetheless. Yasuo wished he was free to join his lover, he wished he wasn’t considered a criminal wherever he set a foot. He wished he hadn’t his own brother’s blood on his hands. That wouldn’t go away, time couldn’t help on that. Alright, he didn’t think Yi had killed his own brother too, he had already said he never had other siblings. The mystery remained.

Path going south, Yasuo continued this way to possible forgiveness. He wouldn’t forgive himself but he may find a way to prove he wasn’t guilty of the initial crime. Whatever, for most folks killing one’s brother was a big crime, even for honor. Words ran quickly in these beautiful land, the war may be raging, folks still traveled a lot to every region, either fleeing or joining the fights, keeping normalcy or trying to survive. He couldn’t blame them for believing rumors but at the same time it made his quest a lot more difficult. How could he ask about any suspicious warrior using a wind technique without getting the attention on what he did, truly or not ? For them he was just some drunk dishonored fool running away from his responsabilities and the death penalty at the occasion.

Life was unfair, everything he did seemed to prove the ideas they got about him and there was nothing he could do to solve the issue. Was he doomed to make only mistakes ? This left a bitter taste, no one had been tactful about their opinion of him when he was a kid and now they could think indeed he had turned out bad.

_Fuck this._

Between that and the constant worry about Yi, he was a little lost. Surviving wasn’t the worst but he couldn’t do a single thing to help his soulmate. Yasuo could only trust.

~

It wasn’t stopping.

Day or night, the same pain remained. Low, screaming in his mind like someone getting tortured. The only difference was the intensity. It felt like on rare occasion everything would go down, only to come back violently later. Yasuo wondered if it was indeed Yi’s sleep time but it was so delayed and so short, either the latter couldn’t sleep or he was wrong with this hypothesis.

This was a negative rollercoaster. No matter what time it was, it would go down into despair, come up so shortly and then plunge again. From Yi he could sense that same deep sadness, loss and abandon. Like his soul crying. And yet on few occasions it got worse, a sudden spike that took Yasuo by surprise before he calmed down too and decided to continue his path. Every time scared him to death because he feared the possible end. The lack of sensation from the other side, silence. At least for now he felt something from Yi but for how long ? Would he give up one day ? Such suffering over days wasn’t a good sign, he had already felt sudden sadness but nothing that last like that. Yasuo seriously considered the hypothesis that someone important was dead. He had reacted all the same when he had to slay Yone.

Time couldn’t let him forget, just as it didn’t seem to change anything for Yi. He barely slept, he carried on with his pain and each day was the same.

Yasuo didn’t feel exactly fine either, it felt like whatever was going on for his soulmate was taking a huge strain on him, physically and emotionally. A few times he had nightmares, nothing about his brother but instead, it was dark land swamped with blood, air impossible to breathe. Every time he woke up he struggled to recover his breath, even for a short time. It only deepened his concern.

Could dreams be impacted too ? He hoped no or that meant Yi had to go through hellish nightmares too.

Something else also worried Yasuo. Their connection was growing thinner by the day while they weren’t even putting some distance between them. Yi hadn’t moved, surely in the same area because every day of walk Yasuo did would be felt as another step reduced between them. And yet their link was getting weak. That part freaked him out to a rare level because it didn’t make sense, or rather he didn’t want it to be for the reason he thought. Would their connection grow weak if one of them deperished ? He didn’t want to know and confirm that, it was harsh enough to know his love was enduring such a torment. And now this.

_Survive… _

Yi felt so weak from the other side. Almost a ghost. Still walking and living but until when ? More and more often he didn’t seem to respond anymore, only muffled sorrows screamed in their connection. Nothing from the man.

Was it the first sign of the end ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully i'll have more time going in the fic, they need to heal a little


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
yeah, gotta keep this moving xD
> 
> thanks for reading!!

Blood. All over his hands, staining.

It wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he tried to clean his hands. It stayed. Sins and crimes.

A body lied there, right at his feet. Dead. Not a single breath of life. Gone before their time.

His knees gave out, he fell on the ground. Broken. Helpless hands over that body but sadly he couldn’t bring them back. It was too late and it was all his fault to begin with. Blood would always be on his hands for that crime.

Soon the darkness surrounded him, struggling to breathe.

What would kill him first ? Guilt or Noxus ?

~

Yi woke up in a startle, breathless. It felt like it burned his throat and yet as he relaxed so slightly, he could just realize it wasn’t true. Hands over his chest, recovering little by little.

A nightmare.

It followed him even in his sleep, no real rest allowed anymore. After all, he couldn’t appreciate rest when he was caused so many to find it too soon. However this one nightmare was a little different, in a way that he couldn’t explain. It matched his own guilt and torment but it felt like from another point of view. Not his.

_It doesn’t make sense_. Nothing made sense anymore but Yi had to find some or he would go crazy. It was a matter of survival.

Days had gone since his first return at the Wuju village. Days since he got the worst news of his life. Even now he was so lost, at the brink of giving up if he lingered too much on this topic. It hurt every second, a burning needle piercing again and again so he couldn’t forget what had happened. What he had done.

The reality was there, everyone was dead now except him.

After the initial search for any survivor, Yi had been forced to face it. He was the last one. Indeed there had been a few ones that were still breathing this poison but fate had decided this was too long. No one could survive such exposure.

_Alone… _

This hit the worst. Yi had been alone for a long time after the night he had fled the village to help in the war. He had been alone and then not so much since he was with Yasuo. He had known that his family and his village would always be there at his return. However destiny could be cruel. By his own decision everyone was dead now. A price he wouldn’t have paid had he known earlier – sadly it was often too late to change.

All his life raised and thriving along his family and friends. Never alone. Now he truly was. Potentially the last yielder of Wuju.

_Maybe not… _

Oh he clung to this possibility. It could be that many had followed his urge to fight Noxus and so many could have escaped this deadly attack to the village. They were at least two to have ran away down the mountains. One was dead, the other was a ghost wandering in the woods near the remains of the village.

It would be incredible to know he wasn’t the only one. Because Wuju had to live on. As much as Yi’s soul was shattered, he had to make sure Wuju would be kept alive after him. It was his legacy as much as his burden. Of course, if there was at least another person of the village still alive and roaming the First Lands, this would be great but until he was sure, Yi wouldn’t do anything drastic.

He wasn’t allowed to. Even death offered a certain honor and by his own choice to run and fight, he had given up his honor. The debt would be paid at his death only if he could teach Wuju and make sure it would strive.

_My fault…_

Again these dark thoughts. It never left him at peace and this was normal, he shouldn’t be at peace after letting so many to be killed by Noxus. Whispers about the bloodshed, about his real intentions, about the terrible results.

_I only wanted to help…_

Obviously he had failed. Every single corpse was another proof of this failure. Sometimes good intentions weren’t enough. Yi knew that following the law was in the best interest of everyone and that he should still quesiton was he was asked to do. However it would have been better if he hadn’t questioned this particular rule. It was too late. The rule was useful, it kept them safe.

Until one fool had decided to break out and offer ‘his’ blade at the service of the First Lands.

It was done, nothing could change that. But Yi’s thoughts stayed as loud as the first day, a painful cry out of solitude and sorrow. Two things assaulted him, regrets and immediate self-loathing.

On one hand Yi simply wanted to end it all, to no longer exist since he was the source of all the issues. Hadn’t he existed, would the village be safe ? Death wouldn’t give him the answer but he would be free.

That was selfish, he couldn’t bear to leave everything behind like a coward. That was the second part. Yi absolutely hated himself for his choice but never he would embrace death. His duty was to stay alive and carry on the legacy. Imagine giving up now, such a disgrace. Especially with the likely risk that he were the last survivor.

Now that he had sacrificed all the village, he had to stay alive. Simple balance.

So Yi was torn between suicidal thoughts and duty. It never ended, he was imagining voices screaming at him for abandoning them, for being a deserter. It sounded so similar to what these last folks had felt and cursed under their dying breaths.

_I can’t._

He had to stand and to go. Surviving was a burden but one he completely deserved. Resolute, Yi accepted it. It meant carrying on, finding food and water that wasn’t corrupted by this poison.

And most of all, not to give up now.

_Yasuo… _

His only light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmh i'll make more and more time go between each chapter (not irl ofc), they both have to carry on


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
sooooooooooo i'm trying to get this out of the heavy angst xD
> 
> thanks for reading!!

To his surprise, this agony started to decrease.

Yasuo had almost convinced himself it would never go away and yet now he could feel in their connection that it was going ‘better’. At least, not worse. A few weeks after the initial shock, he couldn’t pretend everything was back to normal or to even pretend it could go back to that but it improved so slightly. Time, possibly.

_Yi…_

It still hurt. A sort of fog remained over their connection, lingering ache that felt like it would never fade away. The good news was that Yi was alive. A bit morbid to think but each day was a success, little by little Yasuo could have good hopes. Himself had been quite shocked after Yone’s death and the first days had been awful, especially in term of survival. But he did it and now to feel Yi alive and standing was a relief.

The thing was not to be too happy, he never knew if something was about to happen. In the first place Yasuo would have never guessed his soulmate would endure something that serious. War was to blame, it made everything uncertain.

So he would still be glad to know his soulmate alive. Yi was carrying on, despite what he was going through.

_Courage, darling…_

On his side, Yasuo tried to continue his quest, looking for a ghost but most of the time he was distracted. Yi’s fate was a constant worry over his soul, fearing it might suddenly end when he was busy. There was nothing he could do to stop it.

Carrying on was the only solution.

Quite often when he was trying to find some rest Yasuo paid special attention to the other side of the link. What was going on ? Would Yi be alright ? There were echoes of pain from time to time, tiny needles piercing flesh without warning. However it didn’t happen so often, the most common thing was a constant heavy mood, threatening to explode. Compared to what Yi felt before, this wasn’t as bad but it could be better.

Again, only time would tell.

~

Weeks became months.

It just happened and Yasuo had no grasp of time anymore. He travelled south, following the roads from afar and stopping in the rare friendly places he could find. These weren’t much, a big part of the people he met were wary of any strange swordman for they had heard one had killed his master. Irony. He did his best not to cause any troubles, this was the last thing he wanted in this world. He accepted some food then fucked off as quick.

All this was terribly lonely. He wished to be with Yi again, to know him near. They hadn’t met for such a long time, would they even recognize each other ? Probably yes, the link was far too powerful to be ignored.

Yes, the link. Time did help a little although the wound remained quite deep and not nearly scarred. Yi was alive. Not thriving and joyful but at least he was alive.

The curious thing that Yasuo noticed was distance. The latter hadn’t moved at all since he first fell to agony. He sensed that because as he walked south, he was closing distance between them and Yi wasn’t going further, he had been at that place for months now.

Why ?

Another question that wouldn’t get an answer any time soon.

If nothing awful had happened on the other side, Yasuo would have guessed his soulmate had made it safely to his village. That was the most logical thing since he was meant to stop somewhere. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Maybe that event had stopped Yi on his way back, maybe he was already home and that was why he hadn’t moved since then. Going further, he might have gone back home and found terrible news at his return, causing what Yasuo had felt from the other side. Although all this was quite far fetched, he couldn’t guess.

Maybe someone close to him had died and he had only heard about it at his return. No way to know.

However, such deep pain and furry felt too strong for a single death. Yasuo wondered a little longer. It had to be someone close, if it was death to begin with. Such raw hatred, he couldn’t fully believe even months later. So out of character.

What was the truth ? It hid in his dreams and nightmares. Both happened from time to time, the first being so sweet and the second more than painful. Yasuo never understood these because it felt like it had a meaning. He remembered moments shared, feeling so in love from a mere gaze and the softness of a carress. Running in a forest, chasing that sunshine, only to wake up as he was about to reach for Yi.

Nightmares really deserved its name. Always so cold, bathed in either blood or fog. The later he couldn’t explain, maybe it was symbolic. The most common nightmare had him wake up in startle, struggling to breathe. Or walking in yet another massacred village, dozens of corpses in houses and streets. Yasuo hated it because he always felt so guilty in every nightmare. Blood over his hands, his blade and no hope for redemption.

Sadly nightmares were more likely to happen than dreams. If he was getting crazy, Yasuo might say it was linked to what Yi felt or dreamed on his side. Which couldn’t be really cheerful. Staying awake felt a lot better than this torture.

Somewhere his soulmate was hurting. Would it ever end ? Yasuo doubted it but hoped with all his heart that one day it would be safe enough for him to find Yi. Solitude was heavy on him, he had yet to finish grieving and there was no place for him anymore. Only Yi, his home.

One they would be together. One day they would take time to heal together and to find peace. This was all he could ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter i'll try to make it move a little, for now most of development is on yi's side


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
mmmmmmmmmmmmh i think things will move soon
> 
> thanks for reading!!

There. The last grave.

It had taken Yi such a long time for the most basic hommage and even once it was done, he couldn’t find peace. At the same time, it would have been surprising to suddenly feel free of guilt. Months weren’t enough to grieve and forget, far from that.

Now every villager that he had found in this awful time after the massacre had a place to rest for the eternity. May they find peace despite the horrible end.

What an exhausting time.

In itself, he deserved it for having broken the rule and no one here – except him – should have found such tragic death. Life was unfair, it was Yi’s duty to at least right some wrongs. Like first respect and funerals. Surely one of the worst things he had to do in his life. To find and take care of each body to be buried was draining, not just physically but also emotionally. He knew most of them, they had known him for so long, some were friends and some were adults that had seen him grow up. Some were his masters, the same that had taught him Wuju.

Disgrace.

Was he still worthy enough to practice Wuju ? It wasn’t just a figthing style, this wasn’t meant to this exactly. It was a way of life in harmony with nature, borrowing its energy to give it back as quick. Balance. Now it was broken.

Like a soiled blade, corrupted. Yi tried to ignore that topic too because his loss was far too fresh and raw but there was no way not to admit his wrongs. He had dishonored himself and that same blade he used. Now he wouldn’t wield another one, it was as corrupted as him. It had tasted blood and death, nothing could bring back its old spell.

Lost innocence.

Yi thought about it as he took every blade that he could identify to give it back to their owners. Each would go on its grave, for fallen warriors and brave souls gone too soon.

All this had taken so long because Yi was alone, there was no one to help him or just to support him. At the same time, did he even deserve some compassion ? Yes he had lost the entire village, his family and friends but the fault could so easily befall him. His actions had consequences. So it became his punishment to pay the last hommage, dig the graves and bury everyone.

The worst was when he had to do the same for his parents. They had been harsh with him and they had been loving, they had brought him to this world and taught him so much. In exchange, he had brought Noxus to the doors of the village. To see his mother one last time before he buried her was extremely painful, a few time Yi had to stop and to run away for this was heartbreaking. It went similarly with his father too, same pain for as many happy memories.

Surely the first step of grief, however this couldn’t be the normal process because Yi knew he had blood over his hands. How was he supposed to move on from that ? Guilt was going to stay until his death, no matter when this was going to happen. Maybe that was the whole point, he had to suffer until the very end. No way to come in term with that.

Time had fled while he hadn’t. His duty remained although he had no idea what he had to do from now. To stay alive was too general, of course he would do his best to survive and to endure this self-loathing. What else ? If he didn’t do anything, Yi was certain he was going to lose his mind. He stayed at the village but it was completely dead, that poisonous fog almost completely gone but its effects lingered. Had he not fled to fight the war, this place would have remained harmonious and beautiful. He could only blame himself.

Beyond having to take care of the bodies, Yi was at complete loss. He was going to fight his suicidal thoughts because his guilt was at least as powerful, if not more. Everything was too much, he never stopped feeling overwhelmed. Either sadness or anger. Because it did grow stronger over the months. The initial hatred had been smothered for a time since it couldn’t be used as a great mean to forget his guilt but now it came back on occasions, sudden spikes. He was already done, why not pour into anger and violence ? It would be only fair. Noxus remained, the invasion wasn’t over and the First Lands could always use more blades. A few times he actually ran down the mountains, desperate to find a purpose. He had unknowingly sold the entire village to fight this war, it was all he had left.

A reason to keep fighting. If he stopped then he would have no purpose anymore besides staying alive. Wuju had to live. But would it still be the same since Yi had broken one of the main principles ? He had used Wuju to slay, this wasn’t balanced anymore.

These runs in Noxian lines never last long, soon enough he had regrets and came back to the vilalge before he could even find another soul in this small island. Killing repulsed him now, as it should be. It was unfair because not once he had developed a taste for blood, this was solely by necessity to stop the enemy. If there were a way to stop the invasion peacefully Yi would have seized it but in such a world, it was useless. Nothing could convince Noxus to go back home except to bring back more soldiers.

In any case, this wasn’t supposed to be his issue anymore. He had paid the price, he needed a new purpose but it wouldn’t be found in a new bloodbath.

What could he do ?

Was he meant to wander like a ghost in this dead village ?

If only Yasuo could find him. Or a sign, anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohoh, prob one really expected chara will appear really soon!


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!  
sorry, it's been a while xD
> 
> let's goooooooooooooooooooo

_Where should I go ?_

South, obviously. However at some point Yasuo risked to come too close to his home and without any doubt this would be the worst idea of his life after that time he deserted. It was terrible for him because if there were answers for him, it would be near the village and the sword school but going there was certain to only reward him with death. Running into a trap.

_No thanks._ He wouldn’t make everyone the favor to turn himself in, not now that he had paid the worst price. Yone was dead, it was out of question to surrender now. Too much blood spilled, too little answers and always the same crime over his head. So no, he was going to run all of the First Lands before setting one foot near his village. It wasn’t just by self-preservation but also by duty, the risks to fail were too high.

Instead, he went south but at some point land was cut by the sea. On the other side land could be seen, a bit far but visible nonetheless except if one had bad eye sight.

This was Bahrl, if Yasuo was correct. At the same time, he hadn’t actually seen it before, having remained always in the same area for all his childhood and early years. Melancholy hit suddenly, he had long wished to leave and wander a little when he was younger and now he was granted his wish but for the wrong reasons. This wasn’t at all what he had wished for but seeing this far island left him thinking about meaningless outcomes.

Bahrl was also Yi’s home. _Baby…_

A good reason to think about him although he wasn’t so cheerful on that topic because it felt really gloomy on the other side of the link. He loved Yi so much and yet he ached for him, feeling a lot of empathy for whatever the latter was going through at the moment. It wasn’t over yet, even as Yasuo observed quietly this far coast he could notice that constant pain. Even months after.

One important point to take was that indeed their link or whatever that instinct could be called actually urged him to cross the sea and go to Bahrl. So it meant Yi was there and since he hadn’t moved for a while, he potentially was home. A lot of ifs, no concret answer but Yasuo felt a bit better to know his soulmate was on his home island, known territory. Yes he found comfort where he could, there wasn’t a lot of good things these days.

The choice to join Yi hit him once more. It would be so easy to just give up and to find him, follow this link as he had already done once. Technically Yasuo could, Yi hadn’t forbid him although at first they had planed to be reunited merely a few months after their separation. Obviously things had gone a bit differently. _No shit_. Hello bitterness and self-loathing, it hadn’t been a while at all. From now on Yasuo had to live with that with as much honor as he could, it was the last purpose he had. So return to his crimes and why he was actually being chased around the First Lands. This was why he couldn’t find Yi so soon, he preferred to take care of his problems before at last being with his lover. Yi didn’t deserve to be involved in that shit show, Yasuo would never do that to him.

With a lot of reluctance Yasuo had to take another path. Instead he decided to follow the coast and go further south, maybe to the point of going to Zhyun. It would take a lot of time but technically Yasuo had nothing better to do, he couldn’t look back, he had to stay on the move or he would be found.

_Alright, Zhyun then._

His quest wasn’t over, somewhere the culprit was free because obviously it wasn’t Yasuo. he had to find them and wouldn’t relent even if it took him to travel through all of the First Lands and the many islands it counted.

So back on the roads he was, or maybe not exactly on the roads because he knew how to avoid people. This was for the best, he couldn’t have the luxury to go around carelessly. One strange swordsman wandering around wasn’t some good news especially now that it was clear the rumor had spread to the whole nation. Nowhere was safe for Yasuo.

Cautious, he followed the coast closely as much as he could, keeping a sad and yet soft eye on the nearby island. Maybe it was odd to love so much a place he had never visited but this was Yi’s home, the island that saw him grow up and so he held this with a lot of fondness. Since his own home would never accept him ever again unless he offered sufficient proof – even with the faint hope that they would deem him non-guilty – maybe that far island would become his new home. At least it was Yi’s and if Yi was there then Yasuo would feel safe.

Sentimental yes but he had reasons, he missed him so much. His only soulmate, the love of his life, so far away and hurting all alone.

It was really hard to resist that urge, as if the bond itself required them to reduce distance and to be one again. Yasuo wished he could, surely one day he was going to break his promise not to come unless he was free of any doubts over his guilt.

How was he doing ? There were always some waves of sadness and deep sorrow, nothing nice to feel from the other side. If only they were able to communicate, it would save them a lot of trouble and dear pain. Instead Yasuo was left wondering about what was going on.

Until one day he started to feel a sort of anger again from the other side.

_What ?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes! it's time! he's coming!


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!  
sooooooooooooooooooooooo let's go!  
(sorry for late update, i try my best with lockdown xD)
> 
> thanks for reading!

_What is it ?_

It looked like a monkey but far too tall, almost like a human. Yi didn’t care about such details, he was mostly surprised to find a form of life near the village. After the massacre, it had felt like any creatures and animals had fled the place since it was not longer healthy to stay. Surely himself should have followed this visceral reflex but his heart was here and there was nothing he could do against it.

And now there was a creature wandering around, peeking.

Yi knew it because he had great awareness of what was going on around. More precisely, since the area was devoid of life, there was barely no noise except the wind howling in pain. Nature crying. So indeed it wasn’t hard to notice something lurking nearby. At first he had thought it was a human being for no creature was stupid enough to come to such soiled place. The fog had left such a stench, quite faint but impossible to avoid.

_Go away…_

He didn’t want to deal with that. His life was already so difficult, no need to make him worry or scared about strange presence. Usually beasts would never dare to attack the village, especially because Wuju aimed for balance but since the attack, nothing and no one would dare to come here without reasons.

… _Maybe Yasuo_. Hopeful thinking but it was useless, Yi could tell that his soulmate was still quite far, not even on the island. To even imagine such an occasion was for his rare dreams. But no, something remained close to the village without aim, lurking.

The second hypothesis was a Noxian soldier and there were good reasons for that as much as reasons against it. Noxus had already come here, possibly they could send a few ones to check on the place if they had been looking for something specific to steal. On the other hand, why come back to a destroyed place ? It was completely dead, except for one poor soul trying to carry on.

That one didn’t work long because after a few days of annoyed curiosity Yi had caught a glimpse of the intruder, which wasn’t even intruding because there was nothing worth protecting now. It seemed to be a monkey, a really tall one so it explained why he had thought it was a human. However he didn’t remember much because weather could turn bad and the time he saw it, the sun had already set. All Yi heard was distant steps and something alike laughter. Surely it wasn’t but it annoyed him beyond anything.

Why did it happen to him ?

Of course he deserved all this but he had lost so much, why was there something lurking around ? It was so odd, a mere creature would have fled a long time ago, not spent days and days coming back here.

_It doesn’t make sense_.

Maybe he was going mad, maybe his poisonous thoughts were making him paranoid. It could happen, what did he know ? The fear of the enemy that had taken so much from him. _No, my fault_. Never forget that. But to the point of imagining a presence and hallucinating ? Yi was sure about nothing and his lack of sleep didn’t help.

It had been months all alone here with blood over his hands, doing nothing was certain to make him crazy so to keep his sanity he had decided to train again. Useless surely but he had to busy his thoughts, at least to ignore the rather tempting offer of death. No, he had to focus on his purpose in life, to keep Wuju alive. To keep training had one good side, it exhausted him beyond his strengths and so more than one he could pass out without struggling to fall asleep. A benediction in comparison to his nightmares.

So he pushed his own body’s limits further and further. Remember Wuju and its balance, he would never be worthy enough of it but at least he could teach it. Such a joke to use it anyway, he had proven he couldn’t be trusted. One bad choice and the whole area was now empty of is magic. However reflexes remained, Yi couldn’t afford to lose it so easily.

In last, it offered a way to express his sorrow. Nothing better than dead trees to bear the sadness of a man in many cuts. Yi fought until he could pass out but until that, he went further. The blade itself was heavy but not was much as his guilt. So he held it again, inflicting to lifeless trees what he had done to Noxus and so his loved ones sadly.

Day after day the presence nearby made him angry while he trained. Yi shouldn’t but since everything had happened, his emotions were out of control. The smallest thing became too much so to hear something simialr to laughter not far was getting on his nerve. He wanted to be alone, he didn’t want to be alone, all was a big paradox but for sure he didn’t like feeling like he was going crazy.

That creature, whatever that was, was mocking him. It laughed from his suffering, for being the only living being around after killing them all. It witnessed his pain.

Couldn’t it just go away ?

There was nothing here but a broken man, why stay here ? If it were real indeed because over time Yi grew less sure. Sometimes he heard voices and sometimes he had nightmares that felt so real. Maybe this creature was a symbol for his own guilt, ready to kill him. Or a Noxian soldier about to finish the job. Or a mere animal being curious.

Nothing mattered.

_Go away !_

Day after day anger grew against himself, against something that maybe wasn’t real. All in his mind. Increasing annoyance against something that surely didn’t even meant to do that. But what was he supposed to do ? To pretend he was alright ? It had no point, just like him. So he grew sour, incredibly upset to always feel that presence.

It would have to snap one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor them, this gonna be harsh to start with


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
sorry, was meant to update last night but headache -__-
> 
> thanks for reading!

_What the fuck ?_

This time Yasuo was more than confused. For a good week he had felt rolling anger from his soulmate but he didn’t expect it to explode in such a way. Sudden, violent, screaming anger that rippled through their connection.

Something had happened but what ?

More than anything, it worried him because it felt so much like the first time Yi had been angry. After the beginning of this painful time, after the screams of agony and sorrow. Pure anger, tinted with hatred. It was back now, in lesser amounts but it was still too much for it to be a peaceful day. Yasuo didn’t know what to think about it.

It was surely going to be like the first time and it broke his heart in advance because then there was nothing to be done. Cruel tyranny of distances, it kept them apart when nothing went right. If only he weren’t so scared to cross the sea and to find Yi. Maybe it would be useless but at least they would be together to soothe each other’s fears. And outbursts.

_It’s different though_.

As if there were nuances in anger. However in that instant Yasuo could tell this wasn’t exactly the same than what had struck him months and months ago. The first had been blinding, fueled by sadness and blind rage. This one sounded equally painful but not as intense. Almost a distraction. No idea how it was going on the other side, all he had was the echo from Yi’s emotions. For so long Yasuo believed it was slowly healing, no matter what had happened, time doing its thing but this scared him again. Yi truly had a life without him and events arrived endlessly to make him suffer.

Yasuo looked at Bahrl, still visible as he remained near the coast. _Here_.

Difficult not to be anxious about his soulmate. The first time had maybe left him a bit scarred, nothing could have prepared him for the real pain of his lover. Now anger was back, directed to something else. No idea what.

_Please, be careful…_

Clearly between the two Yasuo was the reckless one, always ready to rush into enemy lines for the thrill of the fight. Anger was one of his most intrinsic reasons, it drove him further, it pushed him to find the recognition he deserved. It didn’t fit Yi at all, who was always so calm and composed. Tranquil kindness with honorable will to right any wrongs. He shouldn’t be the one consumed by fury like at the moment, Yasuo should be the one. But against who ? Against what ? His old anger had always been directed to everyone else outside of his family, maybe faintly Yone but he didn’t deserve it. Now his anger had turned to self-loathing, beyond what he thought of his village for having two brothers fight until death.

What could elicit such a reaction from Yi ?

Anyone born in the First Lands would have a first quick answer to that. _Noxus_. It could be them indeed but Yasuo wasn’t so sure anymore. Why feel like that months ago only to let it drown in sorrow and to come back now ? It didn’t make sense. It had to be something at his village, about his folks. _Oh wait, he broke the rule_. It could be that but it didn’t really work with the agonizing pain felt before.

_They won’t let him leave ?_

Yasuo had forgotten a bit about that but back when they were still at hugging distance, they had talked about where they came from. This way he learned that Yi came from such a secluded place that they forbade everyone to get out. Connecting the dots, to know him so furious might be because of whatever punishment they gave him. It reminded him a lot of how constantly angry he was when younger, against everyone and the whole world since they were so cruel to him. It sounded different for Yi but this reaction to cruelty seemed close enough.

_It’s useless, stop._

On the opposite of that first terrible day, Yasuo wasn’t so deathly scared anymore. Of course he remained so worried because what Yi felt was also his to experience but he knew that the latter had gone through worse and still survived. Pitiful positive side not to have any nightmares, this was truly horrible.

He loved Yi, he trusted him not to do anything stupid or not to die. It was their unvoiced promise, to find each other. They couldn’t do it so soon but one day they would find peace with the other. No need to make himself sick with fear of one day finding no echo at all.

_He will be fine. Always._

It won’t erase pain but at least they would get to meet again and then to heal their wounds.

Resolute to stay a little positive, Yasuo followed the coast further through unknown land. He had a goal, he shouldn’t lose it too.

Except around ten minutes later it suddenly ended. No anger anymore.

_Oh no_.

Barely a few seconds but he felt like choking before he realized if anger was gone, Yi seemed still quite alive. Like asleep. _Or passed out_. That thought wasn’t nice but it made sense because Yasuo had felt so much fury uninterrupted for a while until it completely ended.

_Fuck… Hope it isn’t too bad…_

It could be really anything and there was literally no way to know for Yasuo. Only time would tell but it wasn’t really relaxing to wait for a possible end. At least he knew Yi was alive, great but for how long ?

_He’s definitely passed out._

It was far from night time, no reason to be asleep now and compared to the violent outburst, only an equally sudden knock out could get that result. Again it went in that village issues category, for which Yasuo wasn’t happy at all.

Why freak out like that ? It wasn’t the first time he had registered sudden slow times like these but indeed it was the first after terrible anger. It could be linked. In any case Yasuo was left in the dark and he could only hope nothing would happen to Yi.

_Please, stay alive… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cut yi some slack, life is quite difficult at the moment  
maybe wuk will end up helping


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
oof, let's go back into angst xD

Sometimes life could be so difficult. A special kind of hell for murderers.

It must have been a sort of karma because everything in Yi’s life seemed to have gone south and now there was a monkey lurking around. No idea where it came from nor why it was here. He knew that there weren’t any of that kind near the village and the mountains for all the time he had lived here so it could have been a point of curiosity if he weren’t that upset about peculiar visits. The monkey never left, every day it was here, sometimes even coming to sit next to Yi when he meditated. At least he tried to.

Good news, he knew that he wasn’t hallucinating the first new presence nearby because it was far too real and noisy to be in his head. Well, it wasn’t good but one thing less to worry about. He wasn’t crazy yet.

Day after day the monkey stayed near the village, not specifically since he seemed to follow Yi in particular. Curious presence that often reminded him of younger days, kids peeking during the training of the grownups. A bit similar but now Yi’s mind was so full of poison, used to everything negative. When before it could have been met by acceptance and light pride for earning that kind of interest, now he was bitter, annoyed. Why was that monkey following him around ? Didn’t it have better things to do ? There was literally no one else here.

Anger built up for a while.

It wasn’t fair but life wasn’t fair either, it took and took without stopping. Why would Yi care or pretend to entertain some creature that had decided to take a closer look ? The whole village was dead because of him, he had lost his family because of stupid honor and after all this hell he couldn’t be given the smallest respite of being alone.

Why was it still here ?

After a while he hoped that the monkey would grow bored because there was nothing here but a man trying to move on and grieve. Nothing fun or worth laughing about. And yet it laughed or so it would sound like it.

It recognized Yi, daring to come and watch like a curious animal. It waved at him and acted all cheerful. Why be happy ? There was nothing worth smiling in this word. Everything was painful and full of bitterness.

Yi didn’t know if he could still smile. Surely he was able to but he had lost so much and joy was part of it. Even thinking about Yasuo didn’t do much. Oh he loved him so much but when everything was going badly it felt like he would never get the chance to see that reckless idiot once more. These sad thoughts weren’t so often, that was a relief. It was like this because most days now Yi was slowly getting annoyed at this monkey for even daring to exist nearby. A distraction but not the healthiest one. He couldn’t project his anger and pain onto another living being.

A cycle that would never end. Violence caused violence, if he had followed his urges to run in Noxian territory to bring death he wouldn’t have solved the issue, only caused more. So Yi clung to that reluctantly. He needed a distraction, something to unleash his violence to. But not something alive in any way or harmony would be broken again. Maybe that was why he had lost everything, because he had decided to use violence. Even with the best intentions it remained deadly and harmony couldn’t thrive in death. He had started the circle and now suffered its consequences. Like the monkey.

Maybe it was just a reminder.

Try not to harm it, this was the whole point. He couldn’t surrender to anger or sadness, he had to resist it before it could get the better of him. No violence.

Though it became so difficult because the monkey seemed to take a liking in him, acting so friendly. It wasn’t here every single hour of the day, maybe it had a life far away from here but it stuck around enough to be a constant nuisance in Yi’s life. In itself he wasn’t doing much, barely trying to survive and carry on Wuju but it was still something terribly bothering to be watched and interacted with when he wanted peace. Maybe indeed it was a sign he would never find peace again. Horrible punishment for his patience.

Days went by and indeed Yi’s patience grew thin. Couldn’t he be left alone ? Only one single soul in the area and the monkey had to bother him. If he was indeed real, it didn’t stop Yi’s mad thoughts. Having lost everything and still taunted by some creatures that mocked him. Mere thoughts but it got grating in no time.

It was meant to become too much at some point and it happened.

One day he couldn’t take it anymore. One day he shakily grabbed his corrupted blade and threatened the monkey. Of course it didn’t take him seriously, as if life was just a game. Cut, that long stick it was brandishing as sort of mock-up for a real weapon. Only deep rage against life that had dealt him such a bad hand. The sad part was that he directed it to the monkey, standing there, stunned. Frozen on the spot, like he knew he would never be hurt. Innocent, oblivious. Maybe scared.

Good for him Yi hadn’t been able to cause any harm. He had collapsed, passed out from both emotions and exertion. Even his body couldn’t follow anymore.

Blade falling in the grass, already tainted but at least it didn’t claim yet another life. Surely afterward Yi would have felt so much worst. Life was to be protected, not threatened.

He lost his grasp on reality and then everything turned black.

Why did he had to suffer like this ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dw, no baby was harmed!  
from that point all should get a bit better


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyyyyyy sorry, yi POV again because on yasuo's side there isn't much happening
> 
> let's go!!

« Ah… »

A word that escaped by accident just when Yi woke up. Was it the right term ? He had indeed passed out and now he was conscious again, lost.

It hurt a little. More than that, he didn’t feel that good, quite exhausted and maybe a little weak. Even now he looked at his own hands trembling faintly despite the perfectly normal temperature. Then memories came back and he felt even worse. This was the aftertaste of violence. He hadn’t done anything tragic but he was that close to actually do it. Something he had sworn never to repeat, to bring harm.

_Fuck…_

How much blood on his hands already ? It was too much, no need to add more. It made him sick.

This felt like madness or at least, it wasn’t healthy at all. For now he was thinking rather straight but he could remember how annoyed and then furious he got over time. It wasn’t fair, the monkey didn’t deserve that but it was so easy just to blame everything on the closest thing or being he could find. Yes the animal got really bothering by staying there constantly but so far it had never meant any harm. Not like Yi just before.

Disgusting. He hated himself so much for even seizing his blade with that kind of intention. Grief and sadness were so heavy on his mind that he wasn’t able to cope anymore. What was he supposed to do ? Anything but real harm, this was just going to fuel his guilt and then the cycle of violence could go on.

_Where is it ?_

Too caught up in his torturous thoughts, Yi registered where he was. Where he usually slept at the village. This was quite surprising because the last thing he remembered was that awful moment when rage guided him, about to slay the monkey. Then everything had turned black and now he was exactly where he slept when it happened, even covered by what he used as blanket. As if he had dreamed all that.

The blade was lying on the floor not too far of the bed, in a place Yi would have never used because he still treated his blade with some respect.

More he thought, more he started to believe the monkey had done all this. To the point of carrying to bed ? Now Yi wasn’t sure, it sounded crazy but his memories were far too real and terrible to convince him. He doubted he had a solid case of sleep walking so it left only that solution.

It was so strange to be at peace right now. Maybe not real peace but Yi’s mind was oddly empty, only his repulsion for the latest fury lingered. All the rest felt like external memories, something in the past. It was still part of him and he recognized himself in this deep sadness that never let go and the rush of anger but now he observed it from afar. Hours or minutes ago, he had been so blinded by pain that he got too close to committing yet another crime. At that time Yi knew he was about to do something unforgivable, it just felt like the only way.

A build up of emotions, sadness didn’t mix well with anger and pain. Poor monkey surely was some friendly animal wandering in the area looking for a friend.

Now the same question remained. _Where is it ?_

Nothing could erase the latest events but first Yi had to make sure more hadn’t happened while he was out. This would be painful to learn, more added to the pile of guilt.

A bit shaky on his legs, he still managed to stand and go outside. It would be easy, usually the monkey was rather noisy and the whole area was empty of any animal life in the direct surroundings of the previous massacre. So Yi paid attention, for once silently praying he would hear that laughter.

After maybe a few minutes of weak search, he indeed found the monkey at the limits of the village. It was always so cheerful sounding, obviously busy with something while Yi walked closer. _Alive…_ Good things remained in this world, he hadn’t made another victim. Now he was scared of what could happen because even though he didn’t kill, the attempt remained and so it weighed on his mind.

The animal didn’t seem to have noticed his presence yet, looking at something in its hands.

_Oh ?_

These were books, piled on the ground just by where the monkey sat. It didn’t seem to be reading all of the attention was on that one open book.

« Are these some of our books ? »

As quick it made the monkey react, startled. It gave a surprised look to Yi but nothing too shocked or scared. It didn’t seem to bad, at least for now. At the same time he had no idea how to behave now because he had been so vile and with anger gone down, he was more like himself now. Was an apology required ? Did that monkey even understand humans ?

_I don’t know, I don’t know_. Yi was stuck between apologizing and treating the monkey like he would another person, and also doing as if nothing had occurred.

Since nothing had happened, he slowly came closer and sat down to take one of the books left on the ground. _Ah_. He remembered these books about Wuju and its teaching. It wasn’t nearly as complete as the most prestigious texts kept by the masters, these particular ones were first for children and younger students, full of drawings and illustration.

« Where did you take these ? »

That question was useless, the monkey would never answer him and anyway Yi already knew the answer. Somewhere in the village, in some abandoned library. He noticed how quiet the animal got, staring at him with peculiar emotion like maybe light fear or attention. Clearly it clung to the book, as to keep it forever.

Everything seemed to click together.

« Tell me, are you curious about Wuju ? »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pom pom pom, lore goes on~


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooooooooo  
damn i need some sleep xD

_Uhhhh… Alright._

Life always had a few surprises on the way and at that point there wasn’t much that would truly surprise Yasuo, unless his own brother decided to come back to life to kick his ass.

No, now the surprise was the echo from Yi. It was strange because after such a long time rumbling with anger and pain, now he seemed to do a little better. Not exactly happy but on a neutral level. Yasuo couldn’t explain such a change but he wasn’t going to complain, he preferred to know his soulmate on a relatively neutral mood than about to commit murder on the closest Noxian.

_I don’t understand anything._

Maybe he was meant not to understand, some things were just out of reach and he couldn’t just get insight from a mere gaze at the now far silhouette of the island. By the day Bahrl was getting farther and farther, soon it would be gone of his vision and world. Gone, this gentle feeling every time he looked in the direction of the island, knowing somewhere Yi was alive and carrying on. However Yasuo had to keep moving and in no way he was allowed to come find his lover, it was too dangerous.

Instead he had to stay alert to these waves of emotions, rippling the surface gently these days in opposition to the threatening storm that was there before. Fury that almost touched Yasuo, angry without reason. It didn’t seem so foreign because himself had in mind folks he would kill if he could, any idiot trying to bring him to ‘justice’.

And now it was so reduced, almost a nightmare or an illusion.

_Nah, it really happened_. Yasuo couldn’t forget about it. Indeed he was glad to know Yi did better but to remember these terrible times haunted him a little. Nightmares weren’t so often but it always knew to play with his mind, torturing. Sometimes if it was really being a dick, it offered nuanced versions of the moment when he killed Yone. It depended on the day and his guilt, at least it wasn’t too often. Sometimes he dreamed of beautiful mountains covered in snow, walking a long path to a place he burned to discover, far from everyone.

How would it be to turn around and run back to Yi ? Oh, so sweet and appealing.

It took all of Yasuo’s will not to follow that urge. It would be so easy, he always had this instinct guiding him back to his dearest. Imagine that moment, picture it vividly. Crossing the frail sea between the islands, walking in valleys until he found the mountains. Impossible to reach but would it resist a man incomplete without his soulmate. It felt like nothing would be able to stop him. Go up, climb, walk, run, until one day he could feel in his very soul that he was close. That at last they could get to see and touch each other, maybe even to kiss.

Oh to be so dreamy.

_One day… _

Reason always had the last word, Yasuo couldn’t surrender so fast. For once he used his brain, he didn’t want to cause Yi any issues by being reckless.

So he went on his honorable path, leaving Bahrl behind him for now. One day he would face it and feel joy fill his heart, ready to pour and overflow. One day nothing would hold him back.

_I promise, darling._

Until that day, Yasuo could just pay attention and pray for the best. At least he could tell Yi wasn’t feeling too bad. There were times when obviously he got sad and broke Yasuo’s heart at the occasion but otherwise he seemed a bit back to normal. As if there was so kind of normalcy in this world.

Some sadness, a light cry from the heart during the night or at the waking. Sometimes it felt like when one got a dream, the other could feel it too. Sadly they couldn’t share it and hope to meet, this would have been so nice. Instead Yasuo only got his worries.

What about that fury ?

Some things were meant to stay under silence. As long as Yi didn’t do anything drastic then it was fine. _He still passed out though_. Difficult to forget. Since it seemed to have changed a few things, positively. Yasuo couldn’t make a guess because it would always fall far from the truth but he had good hopes.

Whatever was going on, Yi wasn’t at his worst.

~ Yi ~

It started strangely and now even though he had no idea what he was doing, Yi knew it was right.

After that first incident, he got the occasion to apologize to the monkey. It felt a bit silly in itself to speak and chat with that kind of being because despite the absence of language, the monkey seemed to understand half of the things said. Maybe just the mood and tone, along with some physical indications or gestures. In any case Yi had made it clear he genuinely regretted what had happened. Grief couldn’t be used as excuse for everything, he had to own his faults.

Good side, the monkey didn’t seem angry or anything, always so cheerful. That part was odd too but maybe it just hadn’t understood what it risked back then. Had Yi not collapsed, the gods knew what could have happened. More blood, like always.

Since then, Yi did feel a bit better. He got his ups and downs, nightmares and dreams but in general he didn’t feel that bad. Guilt remained but the latest events kept him busy. Because after he woke up that day, he understood that the monkey was trying to mimic what he did. Wuju.

It wasn’t completely confirmed but Yi was almost sure. The latter even had gone through the village to find books – that it couldn’t understand so it picked the ones with pictures. Everything made sense. The monkey had never stopped following him around during the times when Yi trained, or so to say let go of his self hatred. It came and sat during meditation, once more repeating what it saw.

Surely it didn’t understand what Wuju was but beyond the art, there was a whole concept, energies that couldn’t be fully explained with words. It lied in nature itself.

Since that day, Yi had started to teach him a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we getting there~


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
damn, 10 days, let's try to do better next time

_I have no idea what I am doing. _

The most pure example of truth.

Yi wondered how his masters could deal with students, this seemed like a particular kind of hell. And he had only one ‘student’, if the monkey could be called as such. Not like he had a full generation of kids to train about Wuju and its most important concepts. One single student and already he was lost.

Not that he doubted his decision but he didn’t know how to proceed. So to say, Yi hadn’t been really taught how to teach Wuju in return. This would have come later in his life if he hadn’t just fucked up and brought Noxus to their doors by breaking the main rule. Choices, again.

_Not now, not now…_

That too was part of his struggle but time had gone a little and it did help faintly. Nothing like forgiveness or some therapy but it helped. Now if the monkey sort of got him to project his anger and issues, it also offered him quite an efficient distraction from all his trauma. Indeed, nothing better than trying to convince one whimsical monkey that meditation under the waterfall was good. So far Yi had failed but he wasn’t giving up.

_This isn’t the only way to understand Wuju._

Yes maybe he was completely wrong and the monkey was simply repeating his activities for the fun of socializing but Yi found something in that too. He didn’t specially go out of his way to teach it anything about Wuju, just a few words then and there when before he had been silently seething.

All this was maybe for nothing. _It changes nothing._

The distraction worked rather well, he had some company and a curious soul about his art. Yi followed his routines, between basic needs, self-imposed training and meditations. A routine to keep himself moving. Staying numb was one of his enemies, along anger and sadness. If he did nothing his thoughts got too loud, too involved, too determined to act in drastic ways. To keep everything in check he got himself busy, leading a rather strict life since it was the only thing working. Maybe also a sort of repentance for having dared breaking the rules, now he got back to what he was taught.

Live on or Wuju would die with him.

_But now I maybe have a student_. It could change everything.

What a strange concept. Yi had no idea if first he could teach Wuju – despite it being the only solution left – and second if the monkey would be receptive to it. So far it had showed some interest in his practice, maybe by mere mimicry but that couldn’t explain why it looked for books.

_Does it understand me ?_

Most days Yi was certain that yes, in good capacities the monkey could understand him. But how about more complex concepts ? It was rather easy to teach a few moves and positions to mimic but the explanation behind couldn’t be easily translated. Another headache for Yi but at least it kept him from his awful urges about death and Noxus. There was peace in the most light things.

No matter the answer, more often than not, he found himself talking to the monkey, like indeed it could understand his every words. As time went he didn’t feel silly doing that, despite hearing as only answers sounds similar to laughter or sometimes noises of interest and excitement. The animal could be quite enthusiastic about many topics, or just when they ‘talked’, reacting a little.

Sometimes he wondered where it came from and how it could be so intelligent, a bit like humans. Yi was genuinely curious. He had heard a long time ago that there were creatures at the bridge between any animals and humans of his kind. _Vastayas_. However he had never seen some and yet he was starting to think the monkey could be one. Mere possibility, Yi had nothing to prove his point or not. Just he had never seen that kind of creature before either and his masters had talked about beings closer to nature than them.

This hypothesis would never go far, it didn’t help him at all. Who cared about reasons ? All that mattered was his new guest in this ghost area.

Day after day it would get better.

The monkey was never far, always coming back here to follow whatever Yi’s routine required. Most of time he either trained to keep his skill swift and true and so he earned an attentive audience during that time. Aside he noticed that the monkey found again something close to a weapon. A mere stick but it took it day after day and often would repeat a few moves it had seen Yi do before. This was why he chose to taught the monkey, because there was a clear intention to follow something new. Something that had meaning.

After all, Wuju was made to be shared and taught.

~

Love kept waiting.

It had taken such a secondary part of Yi’s life for a while, barely his lifeline before madness. Of course the monkey did help to go forward in both bad and good ways but it couldn’t help in one specific part.

His soulmate was still very far.

Yi often had dreams, when it wasn’t actively trying to make him live again his most awful times, it could also show him hope. Running down the mountains this time with a light heart and the strongest confidence in his love. He also lived their first encounters once, all with the the sweet point of view of a soulmate that now knew. Yi cherished these memories and dreams, it gave him some strength beyond the distractions found.

On very rare times they faced each other.

It wasn’t often because it seemed that Yasuo was going away, south and south, maybe a bit to the east. Distance between them. So much had already been added, why not add some more ?

Yi still dreamed in these dear occasions, about the day he would sense Yasuo’s return to him. Himself couldn’t leave, not now, maybe never. His soul was locked here among the many graves and regrets but maybe he could hope for his heart’s return.

His only love, his dear light in the battlefield, the breeze that cleared his sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly getting there~


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
sorry, it's been a while, i'm back on the cycle!

« Fuck you… »

Mumbled lowly in that early morning, directed to that one corpse on the ground. Yet another idiot that had been looking for him. By now Yasuo had stopped counting, it didn’t help him and anyway it wasn’t like he cared about these folks.

This time it was a woman, fallen just like the others.

Another ‘crime’ to the list and again he didn’t feel too responsible for that. _They had it coming, they should have used their brain instead of following rumors_.

And now Yasuo had yet another body to deal with. One thing balanced his lack of luck, this new warrior had taken a lot more time than the previous ones to find him so it might be that they had lost his tracks for a while. Of course now it was over and they could surely go faster but it was interesting to know. As if he could plan when he was likely to be confronted by some stupid warrior from the school.

_Better chase a ghost_. Like he was doing at the moment.

About his quest, it was still at the same point. No where. Lost. Yasuo kept going south, seizing the occasion to walk in Zhyun’s mountains instead of directly following the coast because cities were there and with it, people that might recognize him or give some info to his pursuers.

Might as well make them run all over the First Lands.

Once he had reached the extremity of the coast, was he going to go to Galrin ? This was too far for now and deeply Yasuo knew he wasn’t looking at the right place. Surely he would be much more lucky if he was around the sword school but this area was too dangerous for him and he had to run away for a while.

Maybe the day would come he would get back on his feet and face the wrath of the village, daring to come back in the area. The answers could be there, with that culprit that managed to fade away in chaos. Maybe.

That didn’t tell him what to do with the corpse.

_Guess I’ll leave her here. _

Honestly, he didn’t have much time nor motivation to give her some kind of homage, after all she had almost killed him when he thought he was safe. It was the middle of the mountains, no one walked there except supposed traitors and maybe a few locals.

The sun was about to rise, coloring the sky red as to announce the blood shed this night.

_Whatever._

He had a mission and although he wasn’t convinced he was going somewhere, he kept going. It could also be that once he reached the end of the land in the south, the only direction left was north. And by so, the direction of his soulmate.

How could he ever resist that ?

~ Yi ~

_Not that bad._

Yi wasn’t going to say his latest decisions were paying off but slowly he saw some progress. Just about his personal state, it was slightly better. At the same time, time could only help his case and soothe that strong wound of trauma. It remained very difficult some days, to the point of shutting down when it became too much but otherwise he thought he was doing well.

_As well as someone who lost almost everyone._

The gods be blessed, he still had his soulmate, this would have been the last straw if he had lost Yasuo too.

Life was difficult. Yi couldn’t help that longing, more often than not he caught himself facing the direction of his dear soulmate, maybe hoping they would face each other. Happiness in silly things, he clung to these small details, like the fact that at night they might both catch a glimpse of the moon.

_When will you come back north, love ?_

Another question without answers.

At least Yi wasn’t going to risk anything about his own health, he wanted to be there for the time Yasuo would find him and also he now had a student to look after. Well, technically not. It knew how to fend for itself, what Yi meant was that he had someone to guide on the path of Wuju.

And it worked the other way around. He realized only later but that monkey was actually helping him, probably not on purpose and yet it did. First by giving some company, that Yi had found so annoying at the beginning but after so much time alone surrounded by ghosts and graves, he was a bit grateful to have someone to talk to. That couldn’t answer but still, it was nice.

The second way of helping ran far deeper than that. By being so curious about Wuju, this monkey was maybe saving this art without knowing it. Wuju was made to be shared and taught, not to die all alone. This new spark of curiosity from a potential vastaya meant Wuju was going to stay alive a bit more than if Yi were all alone in this hell.

Some very good news.

Of course he wasn’t putting all his hopes and efforts on one poor monkey that just happened to give interest in some funny looking fighting style, but he was allowed to be optimistic. It was all Yi had left, with his regrets and his stained blade. So he might as well make sure to let Wuju live on after him.

Training remained a bit difficult because Yi had barely no experience in teaching and quite often he recognized his young self in that monkey, when he wanted to do his best but the theory part was so difficult to understand. It took time and furthermore, it was complex to explain to that animal. _It understands_. When he took time to explain – which was every time since he tried – the monkey would nod, maybe not seizing a few things but it was good already.

The easiest part was fight training. At least that part didn’t require to talk for hours about the history of Wuju, poems and harmony with nature. Fighting was part of Wuju, as long as it wasn’t used to kill.

For that part Yi still felt quite guilty, using instead wooden training swords to show all he was taught because most times he couldn’t bear to wield his own family blade. Too heavy with regrets, like everything.

Intact in appearance but still broken within.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meanwhile wukong having his best life learning stuff xD


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! LET'S GOOOOOOO

How long had it been ?

Yi had stopped counting days a long time ago, honestly he didn’t care much anymore. The key to survival was to make it through the day without the dark thoughts or any obstacle, then it was a small victory.

On the good side, he had felt the passage of time in a positive way. It still stung a lot to remember his family, his regrets and constant pain but day after day the urge to seek harm was nearly gone. Maybe for the wrong reasons. He had someone nearby so Yi refused to do anything that could shock the monkey. In any case, that chapter was over, he could hope for better things.

Having some company also helped in other ways, beyond the mere presence. Yi now had someone to teach – in the limits of his capacity – so it was a goal for his life, a reason not to die. From the start he knew he wasn’t allowed to seek death because all responsibility was on him but now he had a whole new reason.

To know where to go was wonderful.

And then there was his soulmate. A bit of a sore topic while also quite sweet, how strange to describe. At the same time, Yi wanted to find him again but he wasn’t able to move on yet from the bloodshed, Yasuo was the only one able to close distance. Right now heading south. If it remained a sad topic, it was because Yi still felt a few things from the other side. Remains of nightmares and gentle dreams, of boiling emotions and restlessness. None of it he could really understand but it meant Yasuo was doing fine. Even though on punctual moments their link was overtaken by frustration, pain and anger.

So difficult to decipher.

It seemed that some days were worse than others, on both sides of their soulmate link. It was painful for Yi but he carried on, hoping the latter wasn’t going through the same thing as him. And then he had his awful days, doing everything to be left alone to grieve. Life was a cycle, everything repeated but hopefully changes happened little by little.

After those days, Yi took care to follow the monkey and to be nice with it. Being angry or sad wasn’t an excuse for a harsh behavior, he did everything in his power to avoid interactions during these dark times. It merely took one single occasion to make it understand that Yi was to be left at peace when pain was too much. The monkey seemed to get it, going away for a while. Once it even came and left sneakily some food.

In return Yi did everything to be patient and to teach Wuju. It was only fair and again, it gave such a good distraction to be busy. Only thanks to that cheerful monkey did he get to smile again after the massacre. All wasn’t truly lost. What he had done couldn’t be taken back but he could do good things to repay.

Balance, like always.

~

One of those days, again. More precisely, it was the following day of such sorrow, when at last Yi could bring himself to function normally and to get out again. Once more he was surprised to find fruits right by the door of where he lived now, put there on purpose with sweet intention.

_Aww…_

The monkey could be quite childish on occasions when it involved a part of training that it didn’t like but it also showed an infinite amount of patience toward Yi and his difficult times. Very thankful, he gathered the small offering and carried it with the intention to share some once he had found his student in the area around the village.

It never took too long because they were always meeting around the same time of the day. This time, Yi found the monkey in the farther part of the gardens, practicing happily with the same stick.

As soon as it noticed Yi’s presence, he waved at the monkey, addressing his greetings : « Hello to you, my student. I see you are practicing what I last taught you ? »

Difficult not to understand that eager nod. As soon as he got close, the latter came up to Yi and so they sat there. It was time to share, he gave one of the fruits to the monkey with a smile.

« There, take this one. Thank you for once again bringing me some, I really appreciate that. »

Himself started to eat. The latest day was a bit of a blur but now at least he could feel hunger again and having some food was very welcome. At first the latter stayed rather silent but it accepted back the fruit, mirroring the choice.

For a good minute there was nothing but peace, quite strange for that place after all that had happened but Yi tried to focus on the instant rather than the past. _Not now. _Instead, he focused on his student’s kindness and the gift in the morning. Gratitude was far better to feel than his remorse.

« You probably won’t understand this but I must thank you for something else. » Why not express it ? It felt right to be thankful, for kindness, for being alive, for being given a goal. « Thank you for staying here. I’m aware I have been unjust to you at the beginning, and almost killed you that time and yet you have persisted here. I know you mean no harm and I regret even raising my voice and blade against you. »

Speaking got difficult, life was hard on him but it didn’t mean he had to flee from his responsibility, even to a creature that possibly didn’t understand the extent. A deep breath was taken, released.

« I never expected to have some company after so much solitude and the massacre, thank you. Even for finding interest in Wuju. I don’t know if you’re serious about it but for us it is important to keep Wuju alive and so by being here, you have given me a reason not to give up so soon. » A last pause, he was getting lost in everything he felt he needed to say : « Sorry, it’s a bit difficult to explain. »

« No, no, it’s alright ! I understand. »

« Oh, al—what ? »

_Wait_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
the bb is here, now another side of the story can start xD

« Wait, you can talk ?? »

Unless he had reached a new point in his crazy grief, Yi hadn’t imagined that. Especially not when the monkey looked surprised as well. This was quite ridiculous.

_All this time ??_

« Uhhhhhhhh yes ? Like everyone else ? »

It could be funny if it didn’t leave Yi so confused, all that time he believed he wasn’t fully understood and now it was clear, the monkey knew.

He sighed, thinking too much at once : « Alright, I see. My apologies, I’m just very surprised because you haven’t said a single thing since you first came here. Why not ? I suppose this is your choice but it could have helped us at little. »

So much at once that he couldn’t understand his own calm about. In itself, it wasn’t that shocking but it rose so many new questions. The monkey sat there, possibly looking for its words but at the same time the mood wasn’t even that serious, just a lot of confusion soon to be replaced by a light exchange.

« No offense but I didn’t know if I could really trust you. Some humans can be quite annoying or cruel, I wasn’t sure what to do yet. »

The mystery got bigger. At the same time, Yi winced a little because his first impression at the beginning must have been awful. It even got to the point when he could have killed the monkey – and failed, hopefully. To stay silent to assess the situation made sense although it hurt to remember how low he was in his grief.

« …Sorry, you have every right not to trust me. I shouldn’t have let my emotions control me like this. »

« Ehhh but I do now ! I mean, you look like you had to go through a lot, though I don’t know what exactly. I was speaking more about these Noxians, they’re not very nice to say the least. »

The whole conversation was strange to have, not ever because now Yi heard an answer to his question instead of having to make a guess. It was so oddly serious while he had known the monkey to be quite a prankster.

_Noxians, of course._

« No they aren’t. »

Yi could have said more but now his thoughts were back on the tragic events of the village, why it was empty and how he made himself the sole survivor. Far from kind thoughts, at the bring of causing yet another dark day. However it wasn’t that strong for now, maybe he could hope to push it aside and not ruin the day for anyone.

« The village, it’s because of them ? You talked about a massacre. »

Curiosity could be good but in that case, Yi wasn’t really in the right state of mind to explain. It hurt again, light salt added to the wound.

« It’s more complex than this. Now please I’d rather not having to explain what took place here. »

« Ok, alright. Got it. »

Somehow it reminded him of Yasuo. Of course there was such a gap but to hear that kind of genuine interest reminded him of his dear soulmate, gone for a while. It almost made him smile, if it weren’t for his sadness. In a similar fashion, the monkey sat there a bit quietly, as if it would rather ask thousands of questions but didn’t since asked not to.

« You can ask me any kind of question, just nothing tied about the events of the village. I too have some questions for you. »

« Oh, go on ! I’ll do my best. »

So cheerful like every day before, it was nice to see.

« What is your name ? And are you a vastaya ? Sorry if I’m making a mistake, I’ve never seen one of your kind before. »

« Ah yes, I could have mentioned that first. My name is Kong ! And you’re right, I’m what you call a vastaya from the Shimon tribe. And you, what’s your name ? »

_I really forgot ? _How rude, not once it had come to his mind that he hadn’t presented himself. But better focus on the answers he got, it was quite interesting. So he was right, before his eyes was the first vastaya he had ever met. Life never stopped surprising him, at least this time it wasn’t with a dead village. Second, the monkey got a name.

« Yi. I didn’t mean to be impolite, after all this time I forgot I never introduced myself. »

« Glad to meet you, Master Yi ! »

_Oh._

It had a strange ring to it, in the positive way. It felt strange because it had become true, he was teaching Wuju and so it was normal for a student to call him so. And yet Yi got a few hard thoughts for a short time, past jolting once mentioned but he didn’t everything to keep that locked down. From the Young Master to Master Yi. For all his life he had known it would happen but not like this, not after all the blood spilled and anger. But the truth was there, facing him with clear joy.

« Since we are talking about it, do you really want to learn Wuju ? So far I’ve tried to teach you what I could but the barrier of languages stopped me a little. If you agree to resume, I’ll be able to teach you a lot more than that. »

« Of course ! I’ll try to behave ‘cause some part were really boring but this is why I’m here. To become the best warrior. »

« A very honorable goal but that won’t save you from meditating under the waterfall. That will teach you patience. » Oh he knew it wasn’t that nice to tease like this but it was true nonetheless, Wuju couldn’t be learned only through the fun parts, Yi had more than his share.

What a deep look of defeat over his student’s face. Never a sigh had sounded that sad.

« I know, I know. I promise to do my best. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch me pick the elements of canon i like and reject the ones that suck xD the fic won't be 100% canon but at least i like it


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooooooooooooooo  
well, time for some teaching!

This was how Yi had officially found a student. Kong. A clever vastaya who had been wandering around after having heard from Wuju times ago. He had told Yi about where he came from and why he was here, pushed out of his tribe and so determined to prove his worth as a warrior.

What a surprise it had been to find a ruined village instead, inhabited only by one lonely soul.

All this was past, Yi did his best not to mention it when possible or only to give the minimum of information. Only a few things were clear, the village that once protected and taught Wuju was destroyed and Noxus was the culprit.

Why keep that last part silent ? Yi felt bad for not telling everything but it hurt a lot, he had lost so much. Part of him also felt greatly guilty for not telling more, as if he was running away from the truth. By deciding to sneak out of the village to fight the first war, he had doomed all of its population. It was a fact but not once he mentioned it.

Guilt was a river without an end, colored with blood.

He knew some day he would have to tell Kong about it, at least for his own conscience. It wasn’t necessarily something his student needed to know nor something he had to be shielded from. Just facts that couldn’t be changed.

Back to training they went, this was all Yi could do to distract himself from grief, while also finding some peace in knowing he was teaching Wuju. It would live on after him.

Kong turned out to be quite a good student now that he talked but he sometimes opposed some difficulties. First he was indeed quite a prankster, joking or chatting so very often. Yi only realized later that when Kong was ‘mute’ at least he didn’t have to suffer this endless stream of jokes. Bless his soul, that time was over. However his student learned soon enough that some days were just bad days and that the smallest attempt at a prank would be awful. These were Yi’s dark days, when the dead came to torment his dreams or even his awake self later during the day.

Mother was never truly gone. Let her scream at peace.

Hopefully these days weren’t so often. It allowed Yi to breathe in between, to find himself again and to punctually apologize to Kong because he felt horrible every single time. One time he even had too much and ran down the mountain until he couldn’t feel anything anymore. It scared his student a lot so Yi tried when it arrived to control these urges the best he could. He had to find a safer way to cope. Or maybe just the waterfall.

Speaking of the waterfall, that remained one of the points of difficulty with Kong. Like expected for anyone not used to sit under cold water, it never went so well. But Yi understood, this was a certain exercise and he didn’t hold it against the latter.

Days went one after the other.

Another great thing since they were truly able to chat, now training involved a whole new part. Theory and poetry. Alright, that last part bored Kong to no ends but he seemed to understand that not everything in Wuju was fun and games. Sometimes one had to sit to listen to history, stories about balance and stuff.

Honestly, back then the only thing that had kept Yi from getting bored during these same lessons was because he aimed to make his parents and masters happy. He had to be the best, to live on to their expectations. Lot of good it did but that wasn’t the topic. It was a bit more difficult to make understand one enthusiastic but noisy vastaya that Wuju wasn’t just some wood clashing against wood.

Balance and harmony were important. But as vastaya, possibly he could understand this approach better since it was said that Wuju directly came from this initial use of nature’s energy. Potentially Kong would master it even better than Yi ever could.

Maybe.

Not before a few more years. Training took time.

~

_Oh. _

It didn’t happen that often since Yasuo had taken that direction but once more they just faced each other. Instantly Yi felt a little better, no matter how silly this seemed.

_Take care, love…_

If only words could go through, this would have helped Yi greatly. However reality was different and he couldn’t feel anything but his soulmate’s emotions when it became too much. _Or when he’s having fun_. Better not linger on that, it wasn’t so correct.

Nonetheless, Yi kept gazing in that direction, not exactly south, a little to the east. There, so far away was Yasuo, having turned to face him on purpose or not. At least they were both alive and able to move.

« Master ? What are you looking at ? »

_Ah yes_. For a time Yi had almost forgot they were supposed to meditate a little but to have for once that short interaction with Yasuo distracted him. As quick he focused again.

« My apologies, I got distracted. Let’s resume. »

« Nah, I want to know. I often see you looking always in that direction though I can’t find what exactly, it’s not the sun or something close. …Is it forbidden topic ? »

To hear Kong stay cautious on the end was quite nice, he seemed to have understood some things were not to be discussed. Yi sighed, he was the first one to get distracted so he couldn’t escape his responsibility.

« No, I can tell you but it’s maybe a little complex. Do vastaya also have soulmates ? Someone you are bound to until death ? »

« Uhh yup, I think yes though we don’t call it like this at all. So it’s linked ? You have one ? »

« Indeed. Our paths are different but some day we will meet again. The direction I look at is his. »

« Ooooh I see. »

Success, now Yi might find some silence so they could resume their meditation. However it never went according to plan.

« Tell me, how is he like ? »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meanwhile yasuo is sneezing


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
let's gooooooooooooooo

_Yasuo…_

Oh sometimes Yi missed him so much and that kind of topic made him a little melancholic. Either Kong was genuinely curious or he was blatantly trying to shorten their meditation time by asking questions but the result was the same. It sent Yi back in his memories, finding himself looking in the direction of his soulmate by reflex. Far gaze toward the horizon and its beautiful blue.

_What could I say ?_

« He’s… He’s a bit of an idiot, a good idiot. I have never met someone so reckless and stubborn. »

That made Kong chuckle, what a portrait Yi was depicting.

« Aye, I see. What does he look like ? Is he a fighter too ? »

Why not simply stop pretending they had to meditate ? The topic wouldn’t be dropped and honestly, Yi didn’t mind talking about his love for once. As long as it wasn’t too intrusive.

« Brown hair and eyes, maybe a little taller than me, strange metal armor over his left shoulder I guess is typical from his home town. »

« You know that could be anyone ? Alright, maybe yes I’d recognize him. Uhhhhh I don’t think I ever saw him. »

« I doubt it, he has been running down the First Lands for quite a while. Sincerely, I have no idea what he is doing. »

« Wait, you mean he’s on the run ? Like trying to escape someone ? »

« I don’t know, all I can tell is his direction. »

_To escape ?_ It had been so long, Yi couldn’t make hypothesis. All he knew was from back then, when they could still kiss and hug. That Yasuo was going back to his sword school after deserting. And now he was in constant move, first toward North and then South. It didn’t make sense.

That silence must have been noticed, himself didn’t realize before a moment. _Ah._

« Sorry I didn’t mean to. It’s still a little fresh and I can only hope one day he will come back to me. »

« Well, I wish that for you. Though, why don’t you go to find him ? »

The past, again. Imagined screams and poisoned air.

« …I can’t leave yet. Maybe I won’t ever be ready to leave. »

« Oh, alright alright. Mmh since he travels that much, he’ll surely end up coming here. That’s what soulmates usually do. »

Again Kong had back off from that topic when it became clear it wasn’t welcome. Yi felt a little guilty for dictating what could be discussed or not but this wound too was fresh, he wasn’t able to move on yet. He did run down the mountains a few times but never could he bring himself to actually leave his home land when he knew what kind of disaster had happened in his absence. Maybe it was irrational, that it wouldn’t cause anything bad to happen but he was still grieving.

« I do hope he will stop by. It feels like so many years have gone since then, always on the move. Maybe one day he will come to Bahrl. »

« That will be so much fun ! You didn’t answer though, is he a fighter too ? I guess so or he wouldn’t deserve you. »

« He’s is very skilled with a blade too, using the wind to his will. He and I have poured a lot of Noxian blood during the war, I can attest of his capacities. »

« You fought during the war ? »

Sudden curiosity, a bit different than the first one about Yi’s soulmate. It surprised him because it wasn’t such a happy topic. So many had died on each side.

« We met during the fights, in the Navori region. Now please I don’t want to linger on that topic, the war is still painful to me. »

« Alright, I understand. »

« Plus it won’t save you from meditation. All the time spent chatting will be added to the initial duration. »

« Ah no… »

At least it could end on a lighter note. If he wanted, Kong could very well spend that time sulking.

~ Yasuo ~

_Darling…_

It wasn’t that rare but still, every time they looked at each other despite the sea and long distance between them, Yasuo felt his heart melt. Somewhere Yi was checking on him, symbolically. All he could ask to fight his own demons and remember that they had something to look forward to.

Speaking of Yi, he seemed to do a little well. Whatever he had been going through, it slowly eased with time and more than once Yasuo had felt shy joy from the other side. Along with dark episodes but it was still good progress. He wished he could come back straight to him without any fears but that wasn’t possible. At least Yi was doing better, not so alone since he seemed to be well surrounded.

_What happened ?_

No answer, like always. It had to be serious because some days he felt basically no echoes from Yi and when it did, it was a lot of sadness and anger mixed together. Even after all this time. It really convinced Yasuo that someone had died, or several. With Noxus around, it could happen. He would learn everything about the situation once he would get there, which wasn’t some vague goal. Yasuo was a little realist, he knew he was heading in the wrong direction but he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t find his answers there.

After the South, Bahrl would be next.

_And Yi… _

He might be too motivated to get there but it was true, Yasuo ached to find his soulmate again. Be it because of the link or because of his own love, distance was unbearable, constant sting. Beyond that, he needed Yi. Not in only one way, not just to find peace and affection. Sometimes at night he came to think about him in less innocent ways, that only darkness could save him from gentle shame. Never had he loved and wanted someone as much. Normal, Yi was his only.

Oh when they were going to meet again, Yasuo was sure he was going to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, not much yasuo POV cuz the most action is on yi side!


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm crying ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The screams had been going on for such a long time.

For how long ?

He couldn’t remember. It had never left him at peace since he had first walked into the desolated village, since he had found all of his relatives and friends and masters and neighbors dead on the ground.

She kept screaming, never letting him at peace. Was she truly her mother or simply a sort of symbol of his own guilt ? He had no idea, didn’t care because in any case it was unbearable. That was the whole point of guilt, not being able to carry it until the very end. Wicked words about his traitorous actions, terrible choices and greed. No, he hadn’t done that by greed. All he wanted was to help people, to save at least one life that would have been lost in this stupid conflict.

Stupid it was indeed, for different reasons. Easy to blame Noxus for invading those lands when himself had taken the easy route. Not everyone had the freedom to be so careless and young. Yes again, that was because he was young at that time. Hopefully the war and then the massacre taught him to rethink his actions. The sad side was the cost.

So many lives lost. _Because of me… _

Noxus might have been the weapon bringing death, it didn’t do it all alone. Had he stayed here at his rightful place, none of this would have happened. They would all be alive and happy. Potentially he would have felt like missing a piece of himself, his other half but that was the cost of life.

So selfish.

_I didn’t mean to… _

It was too late to cry over this, they were all dead. They wouldn’t come back thanks to a few tears over their graves. It was useless to self-pity like this. It was fully his fault, nothing would change it. How pathetic to fall that low because of his own choices. Wasn’t he happy ? He had saved so many lives, including his soulmate. His dear soulmate that the village had to tried to keep from him. How mean of them. How dare they keep two souls apart ?

See ? It had to be someone else fault. No his.

Tsk. So weak. Not even able to accept blame like any decent warrior. His masters would all be ashamed of him. Did he even deserve the title of Master after all he had done ? Did he even deserve teaching Wuju when his very actions showed he had no issues going against its principles ?

He was no master. He was a failed student that pretended to know enough to break the rules and do what he wished with his skill. Of course it was now his duty to make sure Wuju would live on but in no way was he worthy to be called a Master. The last masters were dead, just because of him.

Congratulations for having found a student. This was the least he could do. And a vastaya, among so many possibilities. What a disgrace, pretending to be able to teach a vastaya. Their kind were so much closer to Wuju than he would ever be.

Such a shame.

Tears poured and poured, a constant river of regrets soon lost in the waterfall. It wouldn’t be seen, it wouldn’t be heard, this was the price of blood. Silent, miserable pain with no comfort.

At least he was granted the pity of having company. If he didn’t turn him away so fast.

Oh and he still had a soulmate out there ?

Well, surely that one would never come back. Why ? Well, it was logical, wasn’t it ? Why would a soulmate come back to a shattered other half ? _No…_ There was no one to find here, only the empty shell of a man, with his tears, regrets and anger. Nothing else.

Wouldn’t that be sweetly awful ? Imagine that, if the soulmate never came back because what he had done was so distasteful. How delightfully cruel. Violence caused violence, hatred caused hatred. What did he think he deserved after ending so many lives ?

Not love.

The soulmate would keep going south, farther and farther from him until he would never feel their link ever again. Forget his warmth, his presence, his laugh and his love. None of it was real and even if it was, why would he deserve to be loved after having killed so many ? Was it even love to begin with ? Was he that blind ?

_No, he loves me… _

That meant nothing. Even if it were real, he had long lost his right be feel kindness and affection since he first decided to run away from the village. What did he expect ? No responsibilities nor blame ? How childish. Everything had a price.

Say goodbye to that soulmate, never going to come back.

Here there was only tainted land, a broken spirit and a vastaya. Nothing worth it.

_He will come back… _

But no, why would the soulmate do that ? Why come back to the ghost of the one he loved ? Dead in spirit, barely living to keep Wuju alive by duty. Why come back when there was nothing ?

This was mercy. For the best. Or maybe it would be better for him to understand that this was for his own good. Ultimate grace. Because what would happen if his soulmate came back ? All wouldn’t resume like before, this was impossible. It was too late, everything was ruined and nothing could change it. He had ruined his whole life. No longer innocent. What would the soulmate think if he ever came here ? Disgust ? Anger ? Sadness ? Repulsion ?

A monster couldn’t hope for forgiveness, blood had already been spilled. Would he even dare look at his soulmate in the eye ? Did he even have the courage to do so ? To express love when all he had done in this world was to cause pain ?

No.

The soulmate would turn away. Run away. Flee this haunted place and haunted soul.

Why ?

To find the culprit he only had to look in a mirror. If he dared to.

No one would ever love him anymore.

_Yasuo… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just some info, i think this fic will be on hiatus for something like a month (until end of my exams) because it requires a bit more mental resources from me to write than the others XD  
worry not, i'll continue! but a little later

**Author's Note:**

> I will do my best to update it along my other series!
> 
> If needed, you can find me on:  
> twitter: @niceswordboots  
> tumblr: https://aracdo.tumblr.com/


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